Month: November 2011

Oink Oink Arizona: Sacred Hogan’s Navajo Taco

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

I’m not going to lie – the main reason why I went to this place in the first place was because it was called “Sacred Hogan.”  I know in redcorn-speak a hogan is something of a wooden cabin structure where ceremonies are held if it’s a “male hogan,” and food is made if it’s a “female hogan,” but let’s be real here.  Hogan is synonymous for one thing, and really just one thing.  Which is obviously the god damn Immortal Hulk Hogan.  And Sacred Hogan sounds just fitting as a shrine to the Sacred Hulkster himself.

But really, I’ve never really had redcorn food in my entire life, so this was as good as time as any to try some.  From the Hulkster’s sacred shrine.  In all honesty, this Navajo Taco wasn’t the greatest thing in the world, but it was far from the worst.  To give benefit of the doubt, I’m guessing my tastebuds are all sorts of fucked up and ruined by all the processed and unhealthy crap food I eat on a regular basis, so something so fresh, natural and redcorny like this Navajo taco go a little under appreciated and is construed as a little bland.  Adding some salsa helped a little bit, but overall, the flavor was a little light.  But not to say it was bad at all, because I ate it all, and I really wouldn’t do that for something I didn’t enjoy.

So in all, Hulkamania would approve of the Sacred Hogan.  Brother.

Oink Oink Arizona: The Del Ray from Torta de la Reyes

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Let’s see, cheddar, lettuce, tomato, egg, chorizo, ham, sausage, and pork.  The Del Ray.

Getting to Torta de la Reyes involves driving down a sketchy stretch of a redcorn road called Indian School Road, where you have to pass like 20 redcorn businesses, several sketchy strip joints, chop shops, and imigracion offices, but this sandwich made it worth it.  The entire place was entirely Mexican, but nobody seemed to notice white boy and chino wandering in to sample some of their foods.  Our waitress even addressed us in Spanish, before I had to bust out “no habla Espanol” before she switched to English.

The ironic thing is that this restaurant’s other location had the sandwich that was twice the price, and probably twice the size of this monstrosity that I initially scoffed at not being able to get.  The best analogy for this beast of a sandwich and how it dominated both Huzzard and myself is that we both thought we could take Shredder, but instead this Krang of a sandwich kept beating our ass, and we never even got to lay eyes on Shredder when the day was over.

It was a truly delicious sandwich, but I couldn’t finish it.  Granted, we had only eaten three hours prior, but even on a hungry, empty stomach, I don’t know if I would have been able to tackle this entirely.  Not to mention the absurd side of fries.

Oink Oink Arizona: Chompie’s Jewish Sliders

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Mini Challah bread, potato pancake, moist lean brisket.  Served with brown gravy on the side.

100% fucking awesome.

It’s not that I’m deliberately trying to be politically incorrect and tasteless, but the best way to describe what happened to these Jewish sliders is that I committed a holocaust on these motherfuckers, they were that good.  If they weren’t so tasty, I’d have saved one of them, just to take back to the privacy of my bed chambers and literally, place my dick between the bun.

I am completely serious when I say that I was almost in tears when I consumed the first one.  Maybe it had to do with the fact that it had been 11 hours since my last food prior to eating these, but I swear to god I might kill a homeless person to get my hands on three more of these delectable Jewish sliders.

Photos: Arizona Fall League Roadtrip

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Alrighty, I’ve got so much fucking writing to do throughout the rest of this month, it’s not even funny.  Well, actually it kind of is, because it’s almost entirely, self-appointed!  LOLME.

Anyway, despite the fact that I’m behind pace in my Nanowrimo story, I’m still confident that I can hit the 50,000 word mark.  Even if I am taking time out of it to brog in my personal brog that I love so very dearly.  It didn’t help any causes that I spent five days out in Arizona over the last week to watch baseball and probably gain about 20 lbs.

Continue reading “Photos: Arizona Fall League Roadtrip” →

Photos: The rest of the Neko-Con pictures

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I don’t remember who took this picture.  Given the angle it was taken, I’m guessing it was the bartender from heaven, Clayton, or some really unfortunate soul who was forced into photo duty by a bunch of drunks.

That being said, if you haven’t already checked, all the Neko-Con photos are already up at this point.  Granted, I’ve posted a good bit of them as daily stories, but pretty much for the important pictures, like the ones of people I actually give a shit about, they’re all there. Along with various pictures of hot jailbait, a Putty patroller and Coach playing Dance Central, among other random shots.

Continue reading “Photos: The rest of the Neko-Con pictures” →

Neko-Con Stories: Creepy dad taking pictures for the spank bank in front of his kids

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

It’s funny, because I wasn’t really targeting this girl when I wrote the list of all the weird shit kids are doing now that I have no idea, but she happened to exhibit each and every thing I had to say that makes me feel old.  For starters, I question if she was even 18, but most certainly not 21.  She was parading around in tube top, booty shorts and the requisite fishnets that the kids seem to all like more so than ever, but also the animal tail, and the ever-important surgical mask with a bunch of shit pinned to it.  It was pretty much impossible to not have seen her, as she was constantly walking around the convention.

But anyway, while hanging out with Arex behind the Otakon booth, I witnessed this interesting exchange.  Littly Jimmy and less-little Lindsay wanted to go to Neko-Con, but dad had to tag along to be both chauffer and chaperone.  Dad probably wasn’t at all that thrilled about having to perform these parental duties, but that probably changed at the first horde of tight tops, short skirts, and ass cheeks hanging out.

The funny thing is when I took this picture, it was little Jimmy and less-little Lindsay that sat down first, looking exhausted and bored, with dad begrudgingly following suit, clearly disappointed by having his parade of jailbait tits and ass interrupted by these two sperms he wished his wife had swallowed instead.  But that didn’t mean dad couldn’t continue to have a good time.  As fates would have it, epitome-of-Neko-Con-girl came parading around yet again, and it was fortunately dad’s first time seeing her.  And right in front of his kids, a shit-eating grin showed up on his face, and he took several pictures of her, and chatted her up a little bit.  A little something for the spank bank for when the wife and kids are away.  Dad probably enjoyed Neko-Con more than the kids did, in the end.

Neko-Con Stories: Is this really DDR anymore?

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Is it really DDR, if you’re 100% reliant on holding the railing throughout the entire durations of every single song you play?  The game is called “Dance Dance Revolution,” not “Hold the Rail and Stomp Hold the Rail and Stomp Revolution (HRSHRSR).”

And these guys were “experts” in the “tournament.”  In every “match,” there was one guy who had a higher score than the other guy, but let’s face it, neither are winners when they’re completely handcuffed to the railing while they have epileptic seizures with their feet, more concerned with the score and not missing any arrows instead of actually, you know, dancing.

Amazingly, despite the fact that every match looked just like the previous match, there was almost always a crowd to watch.  Either they’re really impressed with their scores, or they’re all also contestants waiting for their turn to hold onto the rail and spasm with their legs to the sound of a beat.