Month: December 2012

Ryback = Goldberg Type-R

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

I don’t hide the fact that I have no love for the wrestler Ryback, because quite frankly I am incapable of seeing him as nothing but a bastardized mish-mash of several other wrestlers from the past.  The obvious parallel is the fact that he’s a Goldberg rip, due to the fact that he’s white, bald, jacked up and does nothing but high-impact power moves while displaying very little actual wrestling talent.

He’s also part Rhyno, due to the ring attire that almost looks as if Ryback went to a Rhyno garage sale, bought all of his old ring gear and just had all instances of “Rhyno” airbrushed out and replaced to say “Ryback.”  And like Rhyno, Ryback uses nothing but brute strength and power moves.

But last night, Ryback copied else that I felt was inappropriate, and in my distorted reality, crossing the line.  I’m not sure what prompted Ryback to even get on the microphone in the first place, as he has the speaking eloquence of Corky from Life Goes On, but he decided to try and blurble out some words to the sheep that somehow cheer his every action.  But then he said the words “Enough is enough, and it’s time for a change.”  That’s what agitated me, and prompted me to write out my displeasure at this no-talent oaf chewing up television time.

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Man, What A Stupid Commercial #004

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

The first thought that crossed through my head after I saw this commercial was: “Divorce papers. With a red ribbon around them.”

Not only is this commercial indeed stupid, I actually hate it. Man goes through hoops to discreetly purchase a Smart car for his wife for Christmas, only for her to become instantaneously and ungratefully smitten with a piece of shit Buick cruising down the street.

In short, man gives gift, wife is ungrateful bitch.

Although the message is very much fictitious, and I honestly will foolishly give benefit of the doubt that there really are that many people who would be so ungratefully crass to rebuff an expensive and clearly high-effort gift literally three seconds after receiving it, I just really, really hate the message in general.

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Golf drivers kind of ruin Golfs

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

I like the Volkswagen Golf.  I’ve liked just about every iteration of it, even when it was called the VW Rabbit.  Ultimately, it was the reason why I ended up liking hatchbacks in the first place, and it’s that bias that led me to driving the 5-door hatchback I have now.  I would most definitely would own or would have had a Golf at some point by now, except for the fact that its price point has always eluded me by putting itself into a range that I just simply couldn’t justify for a means to an end like a car.

But it doesn’t mean that I can’t still be an admirer of the car still.  I like its fairly modest appearance, while having a good deal of performance as well as the practicality of spaciousness and storage that most hatchbacks afford.  During the riceboy days, most VW Golfs could compete or best most of their Japanese competition out of the box, provided the levels of trim were appropriately compared.  And the aftermarket part culture was just as favorable and customizable to Golfs as they were anything made by Honda or Nissan.

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Wouldn’t you know it, Ecco the Dolphin 2 is just as wacked out

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Skip to 3:10 for flying dolphins and floating bodies of water. I couldn’t make this shit up even if I worked for the SyFy Channel.

So after watching some speed runs of the original Ecco the Dolphin, I couldn’t help but notice the suggested videos eventually suggested watching some videos from the sequel to Ecco the Dolphin, Ecco the Dolphin: The Tides of Time. My first thought was: there was a fucking sequel?

I guess there’s really no surprise considering how many crappy games actually get sequels, but regardless, I decided to give it a whirl, to see just what the hell else could go forth with the Ecco storyline.

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Did anyone actually ever know the story to Ecco the Dolphin?

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A few days ago, I was hanging out with some old friends of mine, and took part in their weekly podcast (Carolyn & Joe Show). Aside from talking at great length about Boy Meets World and its subsequent spin off Girl Meets World, eventually we briefly started talking about Ecco the Dolphin. And aside from me, none of my present company was actually remotely aware of what Ecco the Dolphin was actually about.

It occurred to me that the game was horrendously marketed when it came out for the Sega Genesis, and it really was no surprise that it seemed to be that not so many people had any idea of what the game was actually about. I remember the commercial have absolutely zero success at conveying what the plot of the game actually was, and simply made it look like it was a game about a dolphin, swimming around and doing dolphin things. Flipping out of the water, confrontations with sharks, and even encounters with killer whales! Awesome!

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Why would Ted DiBiase wrestle in his suit?

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While at my parents’ house, I discovered that they had unearthed a lot of my old toys that still existed in the bowels of the basement, for my nephew to play with.  As much as my three-year old nephew was disinterested in a bunch of action figures that he had no idea of whom they were, I was just as ecstatic to take a trip down memory lane of the things I once shelled out money to buy and actually play with when I was still a kid.

Among these figures were all my old WWF action figures, and today’s post is going to be dedicated to just one of those figures: The Million Dollar Man, Ted DiBiase (series 2).

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Don’t hold your breath, Keith

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The new general manager of MARTA vows to win public trust

Yeah, good luck there chief. I have to say, this article was a pretty great source of some inadvertent, ironic humor. And I feel like deconstructing a lot of the false truths published to hide the obvious ones.

The poll (that the AJC conducted) found the public’s biggest beef with MARTA was that it was inconvenient because it too often didn’t go to their destination and they didn’t need it because they had a car.

Despite the fact that this statement is true, I vehemently deny the claim that it was the public’s biggest beef. Although I unofficially and likely inappropriately speak on behalf of everyone, the biggest beef that people have with MARTA is the simple fact that it doesn’t feel clean or safe, on top of the fact that it rarely goes to anyone’s destination.

The last time I was on MARTA, there was a man and an elderly woman having a very animated argument, that escalated into the man repeatedly and publicly declaring that physical violence was on the horizon for her. Something about how she threw his cell phone away in a fit of rage from an earlier spat, and how he was going to whoop her ass when they got home. Naturally nobody did anything, including myself while this was going on, but one patron did inform a MARTA “officer” when they got off, prompting the arguing parties to escape amidst a crowd.

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