I don’t think I like this place anymore

I’ve seen this sign countless times in my life, but I never really thought about it until today. Visually, it’s essentially a can with a bite taken out it. A can. An aluminum one, I’m presuming, no less. There’s also a piece of paper or something behind it, but the focal point of it is still a can, with a bite taken out of it.

Who the hell would take a bite of a can? I don’t understand it. I also don’t understand how such a shoddy display of “art” is the de facto visual representation of attempting to discourage people from littering.

The message really being sent is “we understand that that aluminum can probably did not taste vey good in that massive bite you took, Mr. Sasquatch, but please don’t haphazardly toss it aside.”

But this was one of the fluffier thoughts going through my head this weekend. Otherwise, it’s been a fairly trying and difficult few days, and I can’t really sleep right now, because all I really feel is this gloomy disappointed feeling. Naturally, out of courtesy to those who wish to look/”borrow” pictures or see what lame attempts at humor I make next, I’ll keep the more emo-y words behind a courtesy jump, for all six of you that actually read what I write.

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Man, What A Stupid Commercial #011

Chevy is clearly trying to cash into the popularity that Mad Men has cultivated with the whole retro-theme with this commercial for the 2014 Impala. Nevermind the fact that the Impala now looks more like a Honda Accord or a Chevy Malibu than the boat-like muscle pussy wagon back in the 60s, it doesn’t stop Chevy from producing a spot that tries to throwback to older times, even if ultimately the car the “protagonist” drives around looks like it’s an econobox.

The funny thing is that if you were to watch this commercial without Frank Sinatra’s Fly Me To The Moon being audible, this commercial could be portrayed in just about any other era, depending on which music was used.

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Photos: Burgers and Boozy Shakes at Grindhouse

In honor of friends coming all the way down from Charlottesville to visit the ol’ ATL, a gathering of sorts, at Grindhouse Killer Burgers.  Where we chowed down on some tasty hamburgers, watched an old-ass flick from 1969 (Marooned, starring Gene Hackman), and where some of us indulged in some booze-induced milkshakes.  Also, a bucket filled with piss-water AKA Pabst Blue Ribbon.  It was ten bucks and the jew in me couldn’t resist the deal.

Tons of selfies and other goofy pictures after the jump.

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Man, What A Stupid Commercial #010

Synopsis: in a game between the Heat and the Thunder, Kevin Durant is slashing through the lane, and is thinking about throwing down a boomshakalaka. Amidst his drive, Dwyane Wade breaks off his cover to challenge Durant, and when Durant takes off, he is met with a Mutombo-like rejection at the rim. Instantaneously, Kevin Durant snaps awake because IT WAS ALL JUST A DREAM.

But the dream was real enough to inspire Kevin Durant to embark on a Gatorade-sponsored training montage, where he does every single lift and exercise he possibly can do, while pounding Gatorade products in between.

Eventually, an actual Heat/Thunder game is taking place, and there’s two minutes left, and the Heat are up by two. Kevin Durant has the ball and is bringing it up the court, and is thinking about rectifying a dreamed reality. He cuts and slashes into the lane, and is thinking boomshakalaka. Dwyane Wade sees what’s going on, and breaks off his man, and goes to challenge Durant. Both men go up, but this time, all the Gatorade-sponsored training has paid off, and Kevin Durant takes Dwyane Wade to poster city.

But then Dwyane Wade snaps awake because THAT WAS JUST A DREAM TOO.

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No need to be so literal to understand this

Long story short: high school junior is suspended for writing YOLO on the essay portion of a standardized test, taking a picture of it, and tweeting it out for the world to see.

Naturally the kid is being an indignant little shit about it, and playing it off in the typical aloof and devil-may-care attitude that’s synonymous with typical troll behavior, his mom is all up in arms, and there are all sorts of questioning to why he’s being punished so severely for what seems like a harmless gesture.

While it’s true that what he did do, and the photo he posted was pretty much harmless, because he’s giving up no answers or any critical information, I’m still 100% in favor of this little asshole getting punished.  Why?

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This really only makes sense in Samoa

The story: Samoa Air plans to institute a pricing model based on the weight of the passengers plus their luggage.

Has anyone ever missed a flight due to weight restrictions? I have. Long story short, I was trying to get on a flight to Mississippi, and according to all information, there were several open seats available. Much to my horror, the door closed right in front of me, and very confused, I asked why no more passengers were being allowed onto the aircraft? Because the aircraft had reached its weight capacity.

Mind you, there were five seats available at this point, which means that the flight reached its weight limit well before reaching its occupancy limit. The passengers already aboard had successfully compensated for the weight of five entire human beings.

Needless to say, I was incensed. I couldn’t imagine what it was like for those who had actually paid a full fare to get on that flight and were denied.

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Secrecy can only create curiosity

There are three women in my office who have put blackout screen protectors on their monitors.  Y’know, the sheets of film that make screens visible pretty much solely to the user, as looking at them from the slightest angle makes them appear black and impossible to see through.  What most people put on their laptops, from when they really don’t want people near them to see what they’re doing on planes or coffee shops; shielding their personal devices in public places.

But yeah, there are a few people in my office who have put these screen shields on their work machines.  Since we all work in a cubicle jungle, what this says is that they do not want random people, passing through, to be able to see what they are doing.  The question I have to that is, what exactly would they be doing that requires the need for such extreme security measures?

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