But man, are things rough, surrounding me. I can handle unfortunate circumstances headed in my direction; sure there might be some poorly-veiled cries for an ear, and/or some whiny sound brog posts that might emerge here from time to time. However, there’s nothing but a similar feeling of helplessness when bad things happen to loved ones and closest confidants, and there’s little to really do to help them other than be present and supportive.
We all want to be heroes in times of need, but in most ordinary cases of unfortunate events, there’s really not much that could be done, other than the dreadful waiting game. And having time to think, reflect and conjure up worst-case scenarios is about the last thing anyone ever really wants. Still, the martyr complex in me would rather undertake bad things happening to me, than to see it heaped in droves onto those I care about the most.
As I said, it’s not really my place, but the fact of the matter is that there is a residual effect on me, not that there’s anything about this that is directly about me in the first place. I’m just very weary and exasperated with the way things are going, and feeling like there’s not a whole lot I can do to help make problems resolve and go away. It’s cliche to say that life is unfair, but when you see negative things happen to people that don’t deserve them, it really makes you wonder just how exactly the world seems to want to operate.
I thought about writing a condensed version of this on Facebook or something, but I didn’t want to be accused of fishing for attention or vaguebooking or whatever the fuck people say to agitate me when I don’t want to hear it. But on my brog, it’s fair game, and since hardly anyone but people that are a little more interested in my opinions reads it in the first place, I feel it’s more appropriate to elaborate what’s going on in my head during these unwelcome trying times.