Purex can eat a bag of dicks

I don’t remember what exactly Tide did, but whatever it was, it was enough for Jen to decide to not support using Tide detergent moving forward. Personally, I don’t really care, because, it’s detergent, so I had no qualms with switching things up. It’s soapy liquid that helps get my clothes clean, nothing more than that, so I don’t really care what brand it is, so long as is does its job.

Apparently, it’s naïve of me to have that kind of mindset, because it clearly does matter what brand of detergent you’re using. Without getting too detailed, I’ll just say that for the last week or so, I’ve been having some instances of rashes and skin abnormalities of the itching variety that have been puzzling me to why this is the case. Some spots look like straight up poison ivy rashes, and itch like them too. I haven’t really been out in nature any time recently, and if it were truly poison ivy, then it probably would be in way more places and in far worse severity.

And then it dawned on me that one of the very few things that had recently changed, was the fact that we started washing our clothing with Purex detergent, which was our first attempt at using something other than Tide. The stuff claims to be all-natural, or at least boasts a lack of impurities and chemicals that their competitors use. I’m guessing part of their “all-natural” ingredients must include some derivative of poison ivy or sumac, because I’m 99% positive that it’s the detergent that’s causing me these abnormal itchy skin irregularities.

Googling “purex detergent rash” results in all varieties and types of forums, ask.yahoo inquiries and mommy blogs talking about numerous people who apparently are having the same afflictions that I’m having right now. I’m actually relieved to know that I’m nothing unique, and that there are many many other people out there having the same issues with Purex-washed clothing that I am.

That being said, Purex can go eat a back of dicks. Fuck Purex, and their shitty product that causes people like me, and others to break out in rashes. This is public damnation of a commercially available product, and I hope all of my six readers will think twice about buying Purex the next time they’re looking for detergent.