Long story short: Philadelphia Phillies get blown out so badly by the Orioles, that they bring in outfielder Jeff Francoeur to pitch to save the bullpen. Furthermore, the Phillies take the bullpen phone off the hook, as to avoid using any pitcher at all if possible.
Despite the fact that this year is basically a wash for the Atlanta Braves and any and all hope for their fans, there’s always the glee of being able to look in the rearview mirror and say “at least we’re not the Phillies,” who are trudging along, as the expected worst team in baseball.
Pretty much anything and everything crappy that has happened to the Phillies has occurred, but somehow they manage to sink to even lower lows, and frankly we’re barely at the halfway point of the season. The thought that there’s still plenty of time for things to go humorously awry is pretty incredible, but as it stands, this particular story pretty much aims high at the ranks for the anti-highlights that await the team’s end of the season montage.