So in this Chase Bank commercial, Drew Brees’s son kicks a football in the yard; but because he’s the son of Breesus, it’s implied that he has some genetic football talent passed down onto him despite the fact that his dad is a quarterback and not a Gramatica. That being said, the ball goes sailing at a high velocity, to such a magnitude it breaks through several houses walls and windows, much to the chagrin of Drew Brees himself. Bewildered neighbors stare at the carnage caused by the lead food of Brees Jr.
But no problem, because Drew Brees is an NFL quarterback, Drew Brees is rich as shit. And thanks to his handy new Chase banking app, he’s able to parlay chunks of his shit-rich to his various neighbors whose homes have incurred damage at the leg of Junior.
I’d like to point out the part where Drew Brees wires $200 to one of his neighbors for a broken window. Because I am currently dealing with a similar situation currently, however I cannot say that a young place-kicking prodigy kicked a football through my window. No, it was just a freak accident involving my landscaper, a mower, and an errant stone in my yard that went sailing into my glass, shattering it. It is not a big deal at all, considering it technically happened last year, and I’ve just been too lazy to deal with it until more recently.