Fuller House, first impressions

I’ve stated in the past that I didn’t really have high hopes for it, but what can I say, I’m a sucker for nostalgia, not to mention it’s a great way to passively sabotage mythical girlfriend’s Netflix queue with the garbage that I decide to watch in lieu of creating my own account locally.

But I’m three episodes into Fuller House, and here are some of my knee-jerk reactions:

  • Dear god almighty did Stephanie Tanner get some fake tits
  • DJ Tanner looks better now than she ever did back in the show’s original run
  • Kimmy Gibbler has barely aged
  • Uncle Jesse and Aunt Becky have barely aged as well, and honestly I’d take Aunt Becky over any of the other girls on the show, even now
  • Amusing for the show to immediately address the Olsen twins elephant in the room within the show’s first two minutes

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Of course Korean Jesus is superior

As if there could possibly be any doubt.

In case you’re an infidel, this picture of a statue of Jesus Christ out of Korea emerged on the internet this week, and at least to me, it wasn’t really that much of a revelation that it was not just jacked, but more like JAKKED.

I mean really now, Korea is a great and powerful almighty nation, it’s no surprise that the Christians in the country can only worship and pray to only someone as equally, if not greater than the Korean people, so Jesus looking like he’s one blue orb away from transforming into an Altered Beast doesn’t seem at all that shocking.

It’s also a great sign of respect towards the religion. It really puts into perspective how other countries portray their inferior Jesuses, like how the vast majority of the modern world has Jesus of Nazareth looking like he’s more like Jesus of St. Louis, as in the fact that he’s very much an anglo-looking man from a country where most every male looks like Sayid from Lost. And then we have people from Mexico who really, really like their portrayals of Jesus looking like he’s been beaten to death, drug out of his tomb and beaten some more, as if they knew he was going to resurrect and the Romans tried to get the preemptive strike on his corpse.

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I should open up “KOREA”

All across the country, Chinese food is about as American as McDonalds.  It doesn’t matter if you’re in Miami, Florida or Eugene, Oregon, beef and broccoli is going to be the same thing as if you got a Big Mac extra value meal in Boston, Mass or Barstow, Cal.

China King.*
China Dragon.
China Phoenix.
China Heaven.

Unlike McDonalds though, despite the fact that every Chinese restaurant pretty much has the exact same menu, they’re never named the same things; unless you’re like Manchu Wok or Panda Express, as they are more literal, in comparison to the McDonalds’ and other fast food franchises of the United States.

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To think I drank this stuff

It started off with noticing that my refrigerator door was slightly more difficult to open.  It was sticking more than a refrigerator door should stick, and whenever I succeeded in opening it, there was always a slight peeling sound, like pulling tape off of a surface.

Eventually, I ran my finger along the sealing lining of the refrigerator door, and noticed that it was a little tacky, the type that’s reminiscent of a sugary, syrupy drink spilled, and left to dry kind of way.  I didn’t think much of it, and wiped off the residue, and my fridge’s door began behaving like normal.  I figured it was probably 10 years of existing that caused some sort of buildup to develop to where it eventually grew a little sticky, leading to the added effort to open the door.

Nope, it turns out that one of the original recipe Four Lokos I bought back in 2010, nearly six years ago, that sat on the top of my refrigerator, spontaneously exploded at some point, causing a sticky film to have sprayed onto surrounding bottles and cans, and an ever so slight amount to seep into the lining of the refrigerator door, which is now the obvious cause for the sticky door in the first place.

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THE PRODIGAL SON HAS RETURNED

JEFF FRANCOEUR HAS RETURNED TO THE BRAVES.

I know I’ve said a ton of mean things about Jeff Francoeur in my lifetime. But I’ve also been very candid about how repentant I’ve felt for having said mean things about Jeff Francoeur.

All nerdy stupid baseball statistician number munching aside, Jeff Francoeur is a beautiful human being who embodies everything that’s right about baseball, and more important than being able to occasionally hit baseballs long distances, he gets it better than most, on how to treat other human beings.

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New beginnings, circa 2016

I don’t often brog about my career.  I sparsely use names, unless it’s in the past and has been for a while, and I deliberately keep things kind of vague, because I’m a fairly private person in spite of being a regular brogger, and I’m often paranoid that because the world is a fucked up place full of fucked up psychopaths, keeping things ambiguous might be an effective manner to maintain some privacy.  Furthermore, I have a tendency to keep particular thoughts about work close to the heart, since I don’t imagine there’s much good about venting about the people that pay me so that I can live my life, on the internet.

I’m leaving my job.

I’m starting a new one immediately afterward.  To those of my six readers doing the math, that means that I spent but seven months with my former job before jumping ship and seeking greener pastures.

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How blinking traffic lights should be

One of the few good and bad things about my current commute is that I don’t have to touch the highway at all, which is a rarity when it comes to working in the Metro Atlanta area, unless you happen to live within the actual city limits. Good, because I can’t remember the last time I found myself hating life while sitting in traffic on I-85, I-75, or the 75/85 Connector, that has no reason behind the fact that the world is overpopulated, Atlanta is overpopulated and has no transit.

However, it’s occasionally bad, because of the series of local surface streets I use to get around and about are kind of rural, mostly one lane in each direction, subject to actually being affected by averse weather conditions, and the simple fact that most people driving are vastly probably not legally competent to have a driver’s license in the first place. But mostly a combination of the one lane directions and stupid drivers are why I’m brogging about this in the first place.

Quick, explain what you’re supposed to do when you approach a blinking red light, and a blinking yellow light.

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