I find this offensive

Who is the ultimate Warrior?  Between Stephen Curry and Kevin Durant?

How about fucking neither?? 

How about having some god damn respect for the most polarizing man in the history of the professional wrestling, and not comparing him to an industry full of bitches and is somehow more fake?

Look, I get that ESPN is all buddy-buddy with the WWE these days, and I know Stephen A. Shit is pretty much the worst talks-about-sports guy in history, but jesus christ it’s never a low they’ll sink to in order to have a clever quip or graphic to put onto screen.

Neither is an ultimate warrior, but if you had to answer who was the best between the two, the answer is obviously Stephen Curry.  The guy won without Durant, and then Durant being the lazy gravy-training leech, jumped ship from a great team onto the best team, hoping to coast his way to his own ring.  I mean, never in my life did I ever think that anyone would be clawing to join the Golden State Warriors, but I’ve also seen the Cubs win the World Series too.

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lol Rito, let’s try this again

The actual reason that the public won’t see: after SK Telecom trampled the competition, Riot Games is kind of tired of Korea owning the League scene, so they come up with alternate international events that mitigate the amount of domination that can be exhibited.

Introducing Rift Rivals: A League of Legends international event where Korea only gets to dominate (collectively) one other region, instead of all of them.

If anyone remembers, Riot tried a No Homers Club before in 2013, when the did the Battle of the Atlantic,* which pitted solely teams from North America versus teams from Europe.  Obviously, this was arranged in a manner in which the two regions could compete against each other, without getting shit on by the superior level of competition from Korea, Taiwan and China but mostly Korea, and ultimately it was a fairly lackluster event, with a convoluted and lazy format that Europe ultimately won because their 3-4-5th place teams defeated NA’s 3-4-5, despite the fact that NA’s 1-2 defeated their 1-2.

*a stupid fucking name if I might add, because despite the fact that the Atlantic Ocean is indeed what separates North America from Europe, games would be held in Los Angeles . . . y’know, along the Pacific Ocean.

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The Gwinnett Barves

A little bit of backstory: the Atlanta Braves are one of the few organizations in baseball that owns the majority of their minor league affiliates.  It’s why all the teams they own are called “Braves;” the Danville Braves, Rome Braves, Mississippi Braves and Gwinnett Braves.  At one point, they stressed the importance of naming all their teams Braves, so that they could really reinforce brand awareness and strengthen their identity to all parts of the Southeast in which they resided in.

This was a stark difference to the vast majority of the rest of Minor League Baseball, who had team names that were often more whimsical and often identifiable to their specific towns/regions, like the Montgomery Biscuits, Modesto Nuts, Las Vegas 51s, Buffalo Bisons and Jacksonville Jumbo Shrimp just to name a few.  It was almost a rite of passage for young players to work their way up the ranks, through teams with less than prestigious names, before they had the chances to hope to play for one of the 30 Major League Baseball franchises.

Personally, I’ve always felt the Braves were an organization of squares, to name all their minor league franchises Braves, in such a calculated and serious-business manner.  Like their 18-year old rookies in Danville might be able to close their eyes and imagine that they’re in a 35,000 attendance ballpark in Atlanta and suddenly translate playing like a major leaguer in their rinky-dink park that maybe 35 people are actually at.  Or that their fans will automatically love the Atlanta Braves solely because their favorite players in Jackson, Mississippi were ultimately traded to the White Sox or Diamondbacks.

Anyway, what prompted this post was this news that I saw that the Gwinnett Braves are taking suggestions for new names for them to use in starting in 2018.  The Atlanta Braves are finally opening up to the idea of naming one of their Jesus affiliates something other than “the Braves.”

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I wonder if SK Telecom T1 hates international fans

One of the main reasons why I enjoy professional League of Legends so much is because it’s simply something that Koreans are absolutely, irrefutably the greatest in the world at.  I’ve watched and had my heart crushed enough times at watching Koreans excel but fall short in a variety of international contests such as baseball, soccer and various Olympic sports to know how much I actually want to see South Korea win things, and in professional League, I not only have such, but because I also play the game recreationally, I have the ability to relate and understand how the players are playing and to appreciate just how good they really are.

Needless to say, over the last four years or so of watching professional League, I’ve witnessed Koreans dominate the scene without any legitimate concern that the ride is going to end any time soon; and personally, I love it to no end.

Obviously, a discussion about professional League of Legends dominance cannot be had without mentioning SK Telecom T1, the be-all, end-all when it comes to the entire esport.  Three-time World champions in an arena that’s only six years old, winners of countless tournaments both domestic and international, and after yesterday, two-time winners of the Riot Games Mid-Season Invitational, AKA mini-Worlds.  The bottom line is that SKT wins big and wins often, and their dominance over the scene is pretty overwhelming.

In other sports, this kind of suffocating excellence often prompts discussion over whether their constant winning is a detriment for the sport as a whole, and the League scene is really no exception.  SKT has been on top of the League scene for nearly four full years now, with only hiccups in Season 4 and the first Mid-Season Invitational, where they failed to win, but won just about everything else otherwise.  Suffice to say, it’s not really that big of a surprise that there are large swaths of League fans out there that have simply gotten bored of SKT’s constant winning, and have turned their allegiances against them.

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When inspiration hits like a baseball to the nuts

No, seriously: Tim Tebow accidentally hits a fan in the balls with an errant throw that only Tim Tebow could be capable of making

All through the day, I couldn’t really find anything I wanted to write about.  Perusing through usual local and national outlets, looking for anything that seemed interesting to write about, scanning through sports sites and pop-culture sites to see if anything sparked any inspiration, no dice.  As much as I hate to do so, it looked like it would be a day in which I wouldn’t have something to write about, as the goings in my life aren’t particularly fascinating currently and there’s little there to write about either.

And then a story about Tim Tebow accidentally nailing a guy in the nuts with a bad throw shows up, I make the not bad face and now I’ve got something to write about.  The internet giveth.

Honestly, the story itself is nothing home to write about, despite the layers of irony there is about Tim Tebow making a bad throw, despite it being in baseball and not football.  To nobody’s surprise, Tebow personally dissuaded the situation, by checking in on the guy whose nuts he rang, signed some stuff, probably said some prayers and bowed their heads, and everyone went home all smiles and happy.  Story over.  But that’s what Tim Tebow does with people, personally, engages them, is friendly to them, and everyone walks away better for the encounter.

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Baseball is awesome

Somehow, the Atlanta Braves are in second place in their division.  Despite the fact that they’re five games under .500 and eight games behind the Washington Nationals, somehow there are three teams that absolutely refuse to compete more than the Braves and are somehow worse.

If the Braves were in just about any other division in baseball, they’d be in fourth or last place, but being in the NL East, they’re somehow a second-place team.  Wild card #2, look out!

This is the kind of shit why baseball is awesome.  Sometimes, you just never know how things pan out.  This is kind of like a double-win for me, because the Braves are sucking like I want them to suck while they’re disrespectfully tanking on purpose, yet at the same time, they’re still somehow superior to the Mets and the Phillies.

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It doesn’t matter who wins the most, it’s who wins last

Because there’s a wrestling analogy for everything: Five Guys defeats In-N-Out Burger as the greatest burger joint all-time now and forever irrefutably

I’d like to start off and say that I am a fan of In-N-Out Burger.  Their burgers are definitely tasty, and I will seldom turn down the opportunity to go to one, whenever I go to a city where In-N-Out is available.  But when the day is over, my allegiance is with Five Guys.  Not just because of our shared Virginia roots and the positive association of basically growing up with the company when they were still just five dinky restaurants scattered across NOVA where you could shuck peanut shells on the ground while you waited for our order.

No, when the day is over, I honestly believe that Five Guys is the better hamburger (and fries) than In-N-Out.  And it’s about fucking time that the rest of the country broke out of their antiquated hipster anti-establishment damn-the-man mentality In-N-Out is better brainwashing and came to the same realization.

Five Guys never fails to satisfy a hearty meal; I always finish my In-N-Out #1 with a feeling of should I get something else no don’t be a greedy fat fuck, and I leave with this unfulfilled satisfaction in the pit of my stomach.  Five Guys never fails to fill that pit, regardless if I go with a fat double-patty, or feel self-conscious and order a single.

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