Month: May 2017

I would like a Grand Vitara now pls

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

One of the better things I’ve seen in my life recently: Proud owner of a 1996 Suzuki Grand Vitara makes the most epic commercial for the sale of his car in the history of mankind

Among the things in our lives that my brother and I still reference to our very old ages is the phrase “standard;” used ironically to describe things that aren’t impressive but we try to make it sound such anyway.  It all derived from this parody of a Dodge Aries commercial we saw back in like, 1999, that we still chuckle about today.

Figure that back in 1999, they were spoofing a car back from 1988, and we come to present day, and now there’s an epic commercial for a car that is apparently from, 1996.  Obviously, technology has changed a good deal since then, and no such capabilities are left out of this amazing digital love letter to the Suzuki Grand Vitara.

The amazing thing about the video is that it starts off modestly, and much like the Aries commercial, the overinflation of the basic features, presented ironically as if they were spaceship technologies.  But throughout the escalation of epicness, I felt that it never really peaks and simply continues to get better without ever declining.

Seriously, from running away from T-Rex, chasing the War Rig, to somehow ending up on the surface of the moon, it just gets more and more outrageously funny, before it doubles me over with the Back to the Future reappearance in the end before the unfortunate end to such a grand masterpiece.

Regardless, as a whole, this video is one of the better things I’ve seen lately.  It’s ironic, it’s well made and above all, it’s hilarious.  Kudos to the guy who made it, and I imagine anyone who watches this would want a 20-year old Grand Vitara themselves now as well.  I certainly do.

Unexpected, but unsurprising

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

I can’t for the life of my say that I’m at all surprised by this: Sean Waltman AKA X-Pac, busted with a whole lot of drugs with the intent to sell

My friend texted me this story, along with the commentary that this was the least surprising story in the world.  I can’t say that I disagree one bit.  X-Pac getting busted for pot and meth seems about as much of a shocker as finding out Lance Bass was gay on the cover of People magazine.  Perhaps it’s the fact that X-Pac has looked like the living embodiment of a sexual transmitted disease for the better part of his professional life makes it seem like such a no-brainer, or perhaps it’s the fact that he’s allegedly been connected to lots of drug use in his life previously that does it.

An unsubstantiated remark sure, but he did make a sex tape with Chyna (RIP); it happening without the aid of some drugs seems kind of unbelievable too.

Whatever though, there’s just something funny about seeing anything at all about X-Pac in the news.  He’s pretty much a living joke, and even the mere mention of the phrase “X-Pac” is enough to draw snickers out of anyone who’s ever watched pro-wrestling in the 90s.  The fact that he was dumb enough to be caught with a ton of drugs in the first place just adds to the amusement in the story, because of course X-Pac, the guy who made the better part of his career chopping an X over this genitals and saying “suck it” on cable television whom one of his signature moves was shoving his crotch in the face of a prone opponent, was caught with a ton of drugs.

There’s really not a whole lot of additional commentary I can add to this, as much as I’d have expected to churn out a thousand words about the topic.  X-Pac’s always been reputed as a scumbag, so to see him getting caught for actually being one isn’t at all surprising.  Again, it’s just more amusing that X-Pac is in the news again at all.  At least his other Kliq buddies have sort of been doing some less illegal things with their lives lately, like visiting a buddy who opened up his very own Shoney’s.  God damn, does Scott Steiner look like a fucking jacked Colonel Sanders in that photo.

I got nothing else.  X-Pac, lol.