The word people my ancient age are really beginning to identify as a legit trigger: spinoff. As in The Karate Kid is filming a spinoff show, starring Ralph Macchio and Billy Zabka, about their fucking kids and their own miserable, post-Karate Kid lives.
This one hurts. I tolerated Fuller House and Girl Meets World because as much of an old-man stink as I made about their spinoffs, because as much as I actually did watch the shit out of those series, I didn’t really care about them. Same goes for whatever Roseanne spinoff they’re plotting.
But The Karate Kid? THE fucking The Karate Kid?? With Daniel-san and Mr. Miyagi and Cobra Kai and get him a body bag yyyeeeaahhh?? This one hurts.
This one hurts, really bad.
Why the fuck can’t people just let the classics live out their lives and die peacefully? Why does some fucking asshole(s) have to dip into nostalgia and dig shit out of their treasured pasts and bring them back into this shitty present time with social media and retards as elected officials and other literal and metaphorical cancers, with weak, convoluted, fan-fiction-caliber storylines and their kids’ perspectives for the promises of paydays? Why the fuck can’t these actors manage their money or their egos where they don’t feel the need to accept these miserable spinoffs for the sake of their own classic bodies of work?