“Bakayarou” is Japanese for “dumbass”

See also: Shohei Ohtani, who basically tanked all potential earning leverage by showing his hand that he does not want to play on the east coast, thus eliminating the deep, deep pockets of the Yankees, Red Sox or Mets from contention of acquiring his services.

I sure hope he’ll be happy winning no more than 87 games a year for the Seattle Mariners for the next 4-5 years, because that’s pretty much the only team remotely close to checking off of the majority of the lengthy number of prerequisites his camp has provided to MLB teams.

Sure, the current MLB collective bargaining agreement has killed off the days of guys like Daisuke Matsuzaka and Masahiro Tanaka getting Oprah-rich as soon as they arrive in the United States, but it’s still a really stupid move for Ohtani’s camp to so quickly eliminate the biggest spenders from contention, just because their client has some preconceived preferences already in place.  There’s still tons of deferred and hidden money and perks on the table that teams from New York or Boston could have been used for to offer up to create leverage and raise the stakes from other teams.

It’s almost like nobody on Team Ohtani has ever bought a car in their life or something.  You never reveal what your true intentions are, and most certainly never show your hand, until the best possible offers are on the table, and then the next round of negotiations can begin with increased wagers.  Once the best shit is out in the open, the buyers can make up whatever bullshit they want or be as transparent as they want to start revealing their end game, but by then, it doesn’t really matter once the offer sheets are printed and presented.

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Oh, MARTA #100

Obviously, I can’t have entitled this “Oh, MARTA #1,” because I’ve been chronicling MARTA fuck up stories for a few years now, but at the same time, I didn’t feel that this particular incident could just be summed up in the arbitrary numbers that I make up on the fly that make it sound like MARTA fucks up way more often than they actually do although it’s not really that much of a stretch to believe if they did.

So much like they do in comic books or any sort of regular periodical, I figure to just let’s just call this commemorative #100, because it truly was a MARTA incident that can’t simply be recognized with some made-up number.

As the story goes, since it all happened while I was overseas, the long-awaited implosion of the Georgia Dome, as covered by The Weather Channel, had their video feed utterly and completely ruined by a MARTA bus that just so perfectly timed its arrival into the shot right as the initial charges went off and the Georgia Dome came crumbling down.  Usually, I like to believe that I’m capable of coming up with way better headlines and descriptions of events than popular media does, because I don’t have to play by the rules of censorship or any sort of policing.  But when scuttlebutt declared the event as “The most Atlanta thing to ever happen” or something along those lines, I simply had to shake my head and just agree.

Seriously, I can’t really think of something more symbolic of Atlanta than a MARTA bus photobombing a momentous occasion.  And you know the driver had no fucking clue of its actions, as it was probably some wage slave just doing their daily job, trying to keep to the schedule and continuing to move . . . people, routinely through Atlanta.  But to the people at The Weather Channel who were completely banking on this footage, this was a cockblock that not even a Michael Cera film could have possibly executed. 

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I guess I can start winding down Fire Emblem Heroes

I got Hector this morning.  It’s like somewhere in the cosmic karmic connection between life and video games, Fire Emblem Heroes has caught wind of some genuine anxiety, and decided to stop being such a raging mutant cockblock and give me a little bit of a reprieve from the onslaughts of garbage that typically tends to be my luck when it comes to gatcha games.

However, that being said, I guess I can start assuming that the FEH train is probably coming to an end soon.  It’ll end up like Pokemon Go, and start getting lesser support as the developers start looking at the next project on the horizon, and me getting Hector and getting to unleash him on the pleebs is going to mean next to nothing on the near to distant future, because soon nobody will even be playing the game anymore except for like me and my one friend out in Maryland.

Whatever though, I’m still amazed that after all this time, I’ve finally got a Hector of my own now.  It’s only taken the better part of 600 orbs and a special promotional multiplier, but at least I can say that I now have the final piece of my theoretical all-tank team, anchored down by Hector that I’m going to unleash onto the arena and hope it will earn me way more AI wins than any other team I’ve fielded.

In fact, out of my last session of unloading orbs that I’ve hoarded, I actually fared out extremely well.  I ultimately made a total of 40 pulls, and yielded not just Hector, but also 5-star variants of Mia, Lute, Ike, bridal Cordelia and another archer Lyn, two of the more supposed broken characters in the game currently.  Six 5-stars out of 40 pulls actually isn’t that bad, but frankly, I’d have taken trash 39 times as long as I still yielded one Hector, because he’s pretty much the crown jewel unicorn of the game that I’ve been pining to get since I got my bearings on how the game operates.

Obviously this all means that the game is going downhill, but it doesn’t matter to me.  I’m the totem of perseverance, and I play the shit out of all the games that those with more fleeting attention spans abandon as soon as the next new shiny app is released, and with my Hector now in hand, I’m looking forward to seeing what kind of future with the game I can have now.