Every now and then I feel like the world gets a little too oversaturated in white people things. I mean I know white people like to believe that the entire planet revolves around them, and they go through extraordinary measures to keep things feeling that way, but every now and then I feel like the cauldron burns extra hot and the bullshit bubbles over to the point where it needs to be pointed out how excessive they’re being.
This past weekend was a good example of just how white things were getting, and how, at least to the eyes of this not-white person, how either frightening, obnoxious, insufferable or all of the above, it feels to be alive in this world while not also white.
So Friday kicks off with the very white past time of shooting up a school, where I didn’t have to wait for the release of any names to take bets that the shooter was probably white. Sure, he had a very Greek name, but when the day is over, he still fuckin’ white.
At this point, there’s really not much else to say about school shootings and gun control. Considering there’s a shooting incident at a school at almost a weekly basis now, after the incident in Florida it wasn’t so much of an if it ever happens again, it was always a matter of when it was going to happen again. After Texas, it’s not a matter of false promises, and the also-very white past time of saying thoughts and prayers; at this point, it’s not if this is going to happen again, it’s simply that the days without incident sign just gets reset to zero.
Saturday morning featured something that I haven’t seen white people get so excited and hot and bothered about in previous iterations, with the Royal Wedding between Prince Ginger and that chick from Suits, one of the few USA Network shows to stand on its own without the WWE crutch. Seriously, it was kind of astonishing to me just how much white people cared about the marriage between two people in England, over absolutely anything and everything happening in the United States, like the high school shooting that occurred less than 24 hours previously, but they really seemed to be making a tremendous deal about it.