It’s no secret that I make a lot of observations at the gym; it’s one of the great settings for the observation of mankind to occur, as it’s at the gym and the ensuing locker room in which the male species has a tendency to strip away societal norms to their truest selves, whether it’s extreme narcissism, misogyny, douchebaggery, or all of the above.
At my current gym, it’s unmistakable that the vast majority of the members are about as white as Paul Ryan’s interns, so naturally this doesn’t just open the door, it kicks it open for ridicule and judgment at how insufferably white it is. And I’ve already pointed out whether in writing or not, many of the so-white behaviors of the locker room, whether it’s bitching about European vacations, tariffs affecting their businesses, or my recent favorite, the fact that there are quite a number of them who show up to the gym, don’t work out, but still take a shower; and then lie about what they did at the gym today to any colleagues that happen to be present.
However, I have noticed another thing recently that’s caught my fascination, and that’s the immense precision that Ben Afflecks put forth towards styling their hair. The way my gym locker room is set up, the toilets, urinals, sinks and the accompanying mirrors are like in this separate alcove away from the rest of the lockers and showers. So when I’m done dressing out, and I want to go fix my own hair in the mirror, there’s always a good chance that I’ll turn the corner into the sink/toilet alcove and then every sink will have Ben Affleck standing in front them, with them very precisely working on their hair.
