For reasons I have no idea, one of the more questionable targeted ads that I saw while doomscrolling through theFacebook was this video ad for what was basically a personal robotic piece of luggage.  Like, it showed some hipster douche walking through what was probably Central Park in New York because why would something like this not be demoed in New York, and he was being closely followed by this robotic caddy. 

No context was given to what it actually did aside from follow its master like a pathetic slave, but when curiosity got the better of me and I clicked the comments, aside from the bitter old man vitriol being exhibited by all sorts of commenters, it appeared to be something of a personal robot backpack, except not having to be worn on your back.  It just follows you like a puppy, and can hold your shit for you, without having to be affixed to your actual person.

Oh and one of these is supposedly like $3,200.

For basically a robotic backpack or briefcase.

I’m quite curious to know the impetus for inventing something like this.  Like, someone out there was so over having to drag a piece of luggage, or wear a backpack or hold a briefcase, that they just had to invent, what’s basically like a Home Depot bucket with some motion sensor and wheels that can be programmed to follow you around.

Lord only knows just how much something like this probably cost to develop, considering how over-designed it is not to mention the whole, probably didn’t need to exist in the first place thing.  I’d guess probably something like 200-250 thousand dollars went into making these robot caddies, meanwhile there’s a rash of fast food restaurant walkouts because workers can’t even make remotely close to a livable wage.

Needless to say, I hate the ever-living shit out of this invention, and it makes me cringe that something like this even made it this far into production, advertisement and inevitable integration into real modern society.  It’s an epitome of something that doesn’t need to exist, but does, and its development sucked up all sorts of resources and manpower that so should have been better spent doing something more productive, or useful.

I get annoyed enough at airports when people lugging their carry-ons are oblivious to how much space they make them consume, when space is already at a premium when they get crowded, it’ll be worse when these fucking R2-D2s are crawling behind the assholes wealthy enough to flaunt these, and the conflicts they’ll start when other people inevitably run into them or fuck with them.

Like most internet of things frivolous things, I hope these robots are rife with security flaws and vulnerabilities, and the people who actually think these are a good idea and covet and purchase them, are victimized by savvy hackers who hijack their motorized caddies, and simply steer them away from their owners, who end up losing them without even noticing, because they’re so self-absorbed in their own arrogant heads that they don’t notice when their little robot slaves just veer off in a different direction into the hands of some hacker.

That shit would make it worth it to me for these things to exist then.  Otherwise, fuck these things, and it’ll be really hard to resist the urge to not “accidentally” bump into them with some force if I ever were to come across one.