This should mean war

I heard from one of my new colleagues about this, and I had to google it to try and see with my own eyes, because I hardly leave my house in the first place.  Fortunately, photo evidence of it exists, and yeah, it’s everything that was described to me, and I’m pretty much in awe.

Basically, Bojangles has decided that they give no fucks about copyright or decorum, and has erected this giant billboard off of I-75 that flagrantly uses lightly modified versions of the Chick Fil-A mascot cows as well as the Chick Fil-A typeface, in order to push awareness of their supposed new chicken sandwich. 

Which is funny to me, considering I would’ve figured they’ve had one for the last three decades, considering they’re a chicken joint, and they could just as easily take the slabs of chicken used in the cajun filet biscuits that I get exclusively, slap them in between an actual bun with some sauce and pickles, and call it a signature sandwich.  Or maybe they have, and are just releasing something a little in competition to all the other chicken joints’ signature chicken sandwiches, who really knows.

Anyway, this is somewhat notable considering Atlanta is the home of Chick Fil-A, so Bojangles marching into the metro area and propping up a billboard like this really should be a declaration of war to some degree.  But as entertaining as it would be to see an actual war brew between fast food chicken joints, we obviously won’t see anything as flagrant as this in rebuttal, unfortunately.  And Bojangles probably knows that, which is why they did it, because to the public eye, a shot like this that goes unanswered, is a point for them.

Either way, I hold no ill will towards either company, and I enjoy their products both.  Bo’s biscuits on Sunday mornings is practically a tradition in my household, which is the perfect thing to fill the void when Chick Fil-A is closed.  But Chick Fil-A’s app is the gold standard in which all fast food joints should aspire to be, and a large reason of why I go there as often as I do, as it saves me time and aggravation, two things that are in short order when living the life I do these days, all while amassing reward points for more free shit.

But make no mistake, as far as public score keeping goes, this is a huge point for Bojangles in the supposed Restaurant Chicken Wars™.  It would be nice to see CFA respond, but everyone knows they probably won’t.  At least not in Georgia.  It would be fun to see if they drop some cheeky billboards out in Charlotte, if they already haven’t.

I don’t want to be an emotional vampire

Since starting my new job, things haven’t been easy.  I was provided the wrong laptop from the very start, which inhibited my ability to do the core of my work functions from the onset.  My household also (likely) contracted the ‘Rona, which I’ve already said my piece about multiple times already, but I didn’t want to bring that up just when I was starting my new job, fortunately everything’s been remote still to this point.

Then, there was the bullet I realized that I had avoided from the old job with numerous of my former colleagues and reports getting axed that fucked my head up, because I’ve come to the realization that my shitty old boss knew this was coming and had been planning for this for a while, and I just so happened to have gotten out before the hammer fell, but it doesn’t change the fact that I have survivor’s guilt as well as feel like some of my old reports are accusing me of knowing it was coming and not telling them, which couldn’t be any further from the truth.

More recently, I’ve found out that my dog has cancer, and until I get an ultrasound, won’t really know the full extent of what we’re dealing with, but given the fact that he’s like 16 years old, things aren’t looking too optimistic right now.

All while my second child is still a living nightmare when it comes to sleeping, as it’s feeling nigh impossible to put her down for naps while I’m on the clock at work, and I can’t expect my nanny to handle the two under two remotely competently without compromising the care on one of them.

Needless to say, things have been pretty rough on my side, while I’m on the clock, but the difference now is that I’m the new guy at a job I’ve just started, versus being the guy on his way out of a job I couldn’t wait to get the fuck out of.  My flakiness now, I give a shit about, and feel like shit that I’m being flaky, because my head’s not on straight because of all the bullshit going on and/or my youngest being a gargantuan cockblock for my ability to work, because there’s no way I can concentrate on work when she’s screaming bloody murder instead of taking a fucking nap.

My new boss is chill, and probably would be understanding to some of the shit I’m going through, seeing as she has children and dogs, and clearly isn’t the micromanager that has it out for me in the first place.  But at the same time, I don’t want to unload all this baggage when I haven’t even completed my first month with the company.

Although I’m sure I would be okay and probably get some leniency and empathy, I just don’t want to be like the emotional vampire from What We Do In the Shadows, the girl who was Colin Robinson’s office rival-then-fling, who always had some unfortunate shit happening to her, so she could siphon off the emotional energy of all the people in the office.  Because that’s what I feel like I would be, if I would make too much of my bullshit known, and I don’t want to give that off, when I’m still in the stage where I’m still making first impressions everywhere I go.

But it really does suck just how inhibited I am sometimes while I’m on the clock, because I really do want to hit the ground running and do better than I feel I’m doing now.  Ironically, as much as I don’t want to go back in to the office, I feel like my productivity has a ceiling while I’m at home, and if I really want to shine at new job, I think I’m going to eventually have to embrace the need to go back.

Peak America

I read this story about how health care in America is so fucked up, that it creates a perfect scenario for billionaire Mark Cuban to swoop in and get to play hero to the country.  In short, Mark Cuban launched an internet pharmacy that offers more than 100 generic drugs at reasonable cost, which is a bigger deal than it might sound, because American pharmacists have been notorious for gauging the fuck out of the American people over the last decade or so.

Naturally, Cuban is being lauded with acclaim, in addition to people being refueled for their disdain for the pharmaceutical industry for being greedy and valuing profit over human lives.  The thing is, Cuban embarking on this endeavor is about as low-hanging fruit as they come; there are a number of billionaires, corporations, conglomerates or any other entities in the world that could have done this, a long time ago.  The fact that of all the random rich entities in there are, Mark Cuban is the guy that grasps the low bar, and is not only going to look like a modern saint, but make no mistake, he’s going to profit, massively.

I have no qualms with Mark Cuban, in fact I respect the guy tremendously, in spite of the fact that us pleebs are supposed to hate the wealthy.  He’s one of the guys that actually understands the need to give some shit away in order to make money, and such is the core strategy of how he basically transformed the Dallas Mavericks from perennial laughing stocks into eventual champions.

In fact, he’s basically doing the same thing all over again, but instead of basketball tickets, it’s common, necessary medicine.  Just because he’ll be selling generic medicine at a little over 15% over at-cost, he’s undoubtedly going to be raking in massive amounts of money on account of the likely million people who will all be shopping his online pharmacy; all while gaining their adulation at providing such a compassionate service.

It’s basic Wolf of Wall Street math here, sell cheap necessities to the lower classes, and there’s ridiculous amounts of money to be made.  And as much as I too think what Cuban is doing is a very good thing for the world, the sad reality is that he probably shouldn’t have been the party to have had the opportunity to do this; when it really should’ve been the responsibility of, fucking America, to do this for its own people instead.

But I guess without stories like this, America really wouldn’t be America.

I saw my first GCW show and it was pretty good

As much as I like to pretend like I’m some wrestling mark hipster, and know every single indy wrestler out there, I’m not even close.  I don’t even know where half of AEW’s roster originated from, and when guys like Daniel Garcia or Wheeler Yuta show up, I have no fucking clue who they are.  I went to an indy show back in November and saw names like Effy and Marti Belle and had no idea who they were, much less aware that both were title holders in other promotions.

Honestly, up until the episode of Vice’s Dark Side of the Ring about Nick Gage, I had no idea what Game Changers Wrestling was.  And based on the episode, where Nick Gage basically repeatedly killed himself in all sorts of deathmatches, I frankly wasn’t enthralled with GCW, and came away with an impression that they were a promotion that was determined to one-up ECW in terms of violence.

But then after Zack Ryder was fired from the WWE, and Matt Cardona eventually showed up at GCW after a masterful troll job, impersonating Jon Moxley who had been bouncing anywhere and everywhere he wanted, I began to see GCW showing up on the general internet radar of professional wrestling, beyond the exposure they got on Dark Side.  Eventually, Cardona would dethrone Nick Gage as the promotion’s World title, and whether they want to admit it or not, it was off to the races for GCW.

Eventually, the actual Jon Moxley would really show up, and beat Cardona for their World title, which brings us to present time, where thanks to a lot of cross-promotion with talents from AEW, Impact, Ring of Honor and whomever else, GCW had drummed up enough exposure and attention to where a filthy casual like me was very intrigued and interested in their supposed major biggest show ever, The Wrld pay-per-view event.  The card looked intriguing, and I was genuinely interested, and excited to catch my first ever GCW show.

Continue reading “I saw my first GCW show and it was pretty good”

I like everything but the name, part 2

I’ve casually been looking at cars over the last few months, because I have this idea that I’ll be able to trade in my current car for way more than the amount I owe on it, because of this mythical shortage of cars on the market leading to this mythical demand of cars, where dealerships are paying premiums for, and I’ll be able to upgrade to a larger dad-mobile instead of a Fairlady Z.

Somewhere along the lines, I saw this car that I found to be pretty attractive, clearly a Toyota.  At first, I thought it was a Highlander, because I didn’t think there was any reason for them to make something within their own umbrella to compete with the iconic RAV-4, but it did look a little small.  But then I found out the name of this vehicle: the Corolla Cross.

As much as I liked what I saw, this wasn’t a viable option for my future, because it’s no bigger than my current car, and with just a 2.0 liter engine pushing 160 horsies, I really have skepticism over this car’s power to weight ratio, and that Toyota’s obsession with fuel economy might be hurting cars like this that will probably drive like a Ford Fiesta if the motor can’t, well motor enough, to move the vehicle.

But I can still appreciate the design of the vehicle, the general interior and exterior aesthetics that I find pleasing.  Honestly, if this were 2019, there’s a very good chance that I might’ve considered this car when I was in the market for a new one then.

…Except the fact that I would probably taken a pass on it, because of, the name.

Why the fuck does Toyota keep making new, logically pleasant vehicles, but then calling them Corollas?  First, they had the Corolla Hatch, which I thought looked really good and seemed like a great bang for buck starter vehicle/fuel sipper, and now they release this perfectly decent seeming CUV, but then slap Corolla on this one too.

As I stated in the link right above, the name Corolla is indeed synonymous with reliability, fuel economy and being outstanding vehicles, but they’re also synonymous with being boring, vanilla and giving up on life.  Corollas are what you get your kids as their first-ever vehicle, because they’re safe, fuel economic, reliable and cheap, so when they inevitably destroy them, they’ll likely live and you won’t be out a billion dollars.  But they’re also the vehicle you get when you’ve lost everything and you need a car period, but don’t want to go used, because they’re unsafe and unreliable, and then realize that a Corolla is in the exact same budget.

And by slapping Corolla onto a hot hatch or a logical CUV, they’re sandbagging their potential, by associating such unfortunate perceptions onto them, thinking that they’ll be of more benefit than detriment.

Like I said, I have a 0% chance of getting one of these in the first place at my current juncture, but if it were 2019, I most definitely would have passed on the Corolla Cross solely because of the lameness of the name.  I wouldn’t want to tell people that I drove a Corolla Cross, because all they would ever hear is “Corolla” and assume that I’ve given up on the rest of my life seeing as how I am middle aged and not a first-time driver.

I would wish Toyota well with this endeavor, but it does not appear they’re interested in doing the Cross any favors by slapping Corolla on it in the first place.  Poor form.

Oh, Georgia #488

It’s been a while since I bust out this series but I also haven’t really been keeping my eye out for ridiculous Atlanta and/or Georgia-centric stories to criticize.  I’m sure they’ve been happening in all the time that I haven’t been looking, but for whatever reason, theFacebook’s algorithm decided to show me this news story, and I’m beginning to get very freaked out at just how well it appears to know me and seems to post shit in my newsfeed that feels like it’s reading my mind sometimes.

But long story short, a community just outside of the Metro Atlanta area which is why this gets an Oh, Georgia and not an Oh, Atlanta headline, Stonecrest, has decided that they’re going to print their own currency for some reason.

The loosest justification that comes close to being a viable reason, being that it will help keep the money of Stonecrest inside of Stonecrest, which kind of sounds to me that they’re concerned the people of Stonecrest are absconding with their money to nearby Conyers or Decatur.

Somewhere within this, there’s kind of an arrogance in the act of it, that the people of Stonecrest seem to believe that those outside of Stonecrest actually give a shit about Stonecrest to where they feel the need to have their own currency as not to have their wealth poached and taken away from their community.

For the record, Stonecrest is like, this remote patch of boonies that sits just outside of the eastern city limits of Decatur, which kind of marks the end of Metro Atlanta on the east end, and where people tend to panic at wondering if they’ve lost their opportunity to gas up, or grab some fast food, before they hit the long stretch of I-20 eastbound where there’s a whole lot of nothing until they get to Augusta.  Conyers, is really that last bastion of civilization before going full Autobahn eastbound, but Stonecrest sits in between Conyers and Decatur.

My two knee-jerk reaction is that one, who the fuck even uses cash anymore?  I literally, never use cash, at all.  The cafeteria at my old job was the last place I regularly used cash, and since I stopped going into the office, my last real reason for carrying any cash at all dried up, and I genuinely do not use cash period, so that I can put everything on my Amex or Visa card to get SkyMiles or cash back.

Stonecrest might have their own currency, but if there are civilized people who have abandoned cash, and don’t like the germy touch points and spread of currency, who the fuck is actually going to use it?  There are all sorts of politically incorrect assertions and assumptions that go with this, but I’m going to let this dog remain sleeping.

Second, my initial thought is that even after it’s printed, it’s going to end up like that episode of Simpsons where the family goes to Itchy & Scratchy Land, and Homer gets suckered into purchasing a ton of Itchy & Scratchy Bucks, only to immediately discover that all the shops in the park don’t take it.  I bet the few mom ‘n pop shops of Stonecrest might accept whatever funny money they end up printing, but when it comes to anything that’s a chain, like the local Bojangles, AMC theater, Kroger or Publix, I can imagine some proud resident placing some goofy looking Monopoly money on the counter during a transaction, and then promptly getting security called on them for attempted use of counterfeit money.

The real question is, if this money actually comes to fruition, how long does it actually last before they realize it was a waste of real money, and they abandon the whole idea outright?  I say by 2013, Stonecrest’s Itchy & Scratchy money is already a thing of the past.

My boy isn’t well

Today, I found out that my dog basically has cancer.  I kind of knew this was going to be the case, because when things like a hard lump that kind of grew out of nowhere are in play, the conclusion seems kind of forgone, but it doesn’t make it suck any less when the vet tells you it’s a tumor, and the real question really being just how bad of a cancer we’re dealing with here.

It’s funny, because I had the new vet at my clinic, the one with the least tenure there, which explains why she has the Saturday afternoon shift, but I was just glad that I was able to take my dog in at all today to get checked out in the first place.  But she’s pretty young, I imagine she doesn’t have the experience as some of the other doctors at the clinic do, so when she’s explaining things to me, she’s using a lot of technical and medical terminology, and seemingly avoiding use of the dreaded C-word.

It isn’t until I explain to her that a lot of the terminology is going over my head, and I couldn’t help but notice the seemingly deliberate avoidance of using the word “cancer,” and that I would really appreciate a little more dumbed down explanation of what’s going on.  The tech leaves the room at this point for some reason, and the doc is a little more clearer with the explanation, and I feel like I have a little more understanding of the situation to where I can at least brog about it.

The lump is definitely a tumor, but the clinic doesn’t have the on-site resources to do anything beyond a cursory examination, and sending out slides is really the only way we’re all going to get some more accurate clarity to what we’re dealing with.  Given the circumstances of how it appeared to have appeared and grown fairly rapidly over the span of the last two months, things don’t appear to be very optimistic, but again, never going to know until we get some more concrete evidence.

It doesn’t help the fact that my boy is anywhere from 15-17 years old, which is well at or past life expectancy for his general breed, and the fact that he also has a grade-4 heart murmur.  Adding cancer on top of it is like a fucked up cherry on top, but him being the goodest boy on the face of the planet, is still acting fairly normal, his behavior and temperament are still his usual cheerful self, and he’s eating, drinking, pooping and peeing as a normal dog would.  Even the girl doing clean-up in the lobby was astounded to hear that he’s (estimated) 16 years old.

But that’s where we’re at right now.  My good boy is not doing well, in spite of the pep he continues to exhibit.  Regardless of what the full diagnosis is going to be, the options are not many, nor are they even likely to work, if they’re even possible at all.  At his age, it’s not lost on me that we’re definitely in the final act of his expected lifespan, but it never doesn’t suck for pet owners to come to grips with the mortality of their companions, and all I can really think about are all the things I feel guilty to him about not being a better owner; like an asshole, thinking about myself, when he’s the one dealing with fucking cancer, and no-selling it like Hercules vs. Sid because he’s the best dog there is and he’s showing way more strength than I am, and doesn’t even realize it.

But he’s not gone yet, and hopefully my life can get its shit together enough to make the even more likely limited time I have with him somewhat better and rewarding.  Two years ago, I had concerns on whether or not he’d last long enough to get a picture with my first daughter with a shirt that had a dog that looked a lot like him on it.  Not only did we get a good picture, there’s now second daughter in the equation, and here’s hoping that we can repeat that history with her.