Upset at nobody but myself

So far, I’ve been dinged with two overdraft fees, and worse case scenario is that I will get dinged for up to six more $35 penalties if I am truly unlucky.  And the worst part is that there is nobody to blame for this debacle except myself, for being lazy.  I had more than enough money to cover for the checks that cleared that put me in the red in checks, but I never bothered to deposit them into my account until it was too late.  And that’s what makes this disappointment slightly worse, because it was completely preventable, and there is absolutely nobody to blame except for me, and there really are no excuses.

Here’s how my mind works.  There is a branch that literally opened 4.2 miles from my house, which I thought was excellent due to the simplicity in where it is.  Also in this shopping center is a Publix, and several dining options that I’m already sick of.  However, there is one inherent flaw to this shopping center, and subsequent convenient bank that makes me avoid going there like the plague sometimes – the terrible logistics of entering and exiting the plaza.  Entering is not so much the problem as it is to exit it, as the plaza as a whole is in dire need of some traffic lights to help regulate the situation.  So many resort to some tire-smoking peelouts and illegal U-turns to deal with it, and at the two instances in which I most frequently pass the bank, it’s rush hour, and I don’t want to bother dealing with the irritation of leaving the plaza.

There is a branch across the street from where I’ve been freelancing the last two days.  And I’ve actually taken the last two lunch breaks in the same plaza.  My rationale for not going to this bank was the fact I was on foot, it was hot and humid, that there was no structured walkway to get to the lobby’s ATM, and I didn’t want to be one of those guys who walks through the drive-thru ATM, and being subject to the scrutiny of those in their Lexuses, BMWs and Mercedeses while I deposited my money.  Instead, I went to the Willy’s in the plaza exclusively, and those two lunches very well could cost me $70 in overdraft fees due to my laziness.

This is my rationale for not covering my ass in the last few days from the bank closest to my house, and bank right next to where I took my lunches.  Irritatingly, it would’ve been far more efficient at enduring the headache of driving or sweating in the heat than sitting here simmering with disgust at myself.  To put the cherry on top, all this is occurring on the weekend, so I’m unable to get instant gratification by the end of the business day to see if my deposit has gone through, and kind of handcuffed at any further spending due to there not yet actually being any usable funds in my bank account at the moment.

I need a real fucking job, and badly at that, in order for my life to get truly back on a semblance of a track.  And then I can build up my safety net again, feel financially secure, subsequently personally secure, have the ability to project, and also hound and pursue the girl I’m currently working with.

 

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