Of all the things that people would want to steal, someone in Zombieland has stolen Jen and I’s trash receptacle. It happened some time on Saturday afternoon, because I threw some garbage away in the morning, and in the evening it was just plain gone. Not quite sure why someone would steal a garbage can, maybe they really needed one, or maybe it’s just some ziglets playing a stupid prank, but the fact of the matter is that it is still an inconvenience to Jen and I, since now we have no outdoor receptacle to throw our trash.
I suspect that it is the squatters two houses down, since they could very easily stash it in their garage until Friday mornings and then put it out on the curb for pickup and then bring it back in, but I don’t want to be rash here. I can wait until Friday, and then catalog who in the neighborhood has a trash can that looks like ours, and then put one and one together.
It’s easier than it sounds, because out of the 200+ properties in Zombieland, there are four different waste management companies that servicing garbage pickup. So that cuts the search field into fourths, but then there are also two types of trash can designs, with our trash can falling into that minority. Furthermore, being long-time residents of Zombieland, our trash can still has remnants of the previous company’s sticker visible underneath the new sticker, crudely stamped on top of the old one.
As if all the aforementioned parameters didn’t make this eventual search somewhat more narrowed down, here’s the grand kicker – in the midst of the great trash can heist, the thieves were sloppy, and a small piece of the can itself broke off; a small plastic bumper on the bottom of the can to level it out on flat surfaces, as well as kind of means to brake while rolling. Granted, this could be some lame teenage prank, and my trash can is at the bottom of the drainage ditch full of copperheads by now, OR, there is a trash can that looks like mine that is missing a noticeable piece of plastic from it somewhere in my neighborhood, and if someone is intending on using it, I’m going to find out.
