Oh baby, is that a broadsword, or are you just happy to see me..?
Naw, sweet cheeks … that really is a broadsword, but it doesn’t mean I’m any less happy to see you.
Oooh, I can’t resist a man who carries a broadsword, and wears a Kurt Warner football jersey to the Renaissance Faire… kiss me now! /dives in for spontaneous make out session
Hold on, darlin, Greg just sent me a text message
/inadvertently buries face into neck
Hahahahaha … baby, did you realize “GTL” stands for “gym, tan, laundry?”
/straddles his leg and gently humps
/continues checking text messages
Ahhh.. ren faire. C’mon, let’s get out of here baby.
**
Seriously, this dude could have easily scored at least some hot public dry humping with his obviously horny redheaded wife/girlfriend, but for some unknown reason, he really did take a blackberry alert right in the middle of it. For such lack of priority, this guy is the winner of the weekend. And by winner, I really mean, biggest fucking loser. It’s almost fitting that he’s wearing that Arizona Cardinals Kurt Warner jersey, since much like the player himself, was a late-aged guy who simply couldn’t get the job done when it mattered the most.
