Man, What A Stupid Commercial #014

Synopsis: A smooth, Barry White-talking dinosaur in a leather jacket stands outside of a tour bus, appearing to be something like a roadie for a band called Wild Cherry or similar. An excited female Pop Tart shows up, exclaiming her excitement at seeing the band’s tour bus. Roadiesaur asks if she’d like to meet the band, and upon affirmation, invites her into the bus. Pop Tart scampers into the bus that leads her precariously through the top of the roof. Roadiesaur then pushes a switch, which causes Pop Tart to sink back into the bus, whose walls then collapse revealing that it’s not really a bus, but a toaster – of doom! Upon successful execution of his diabolical plan, Roadiesaur cockily boasts the money line: “Groupies are easy.

Okay, so it’s not so much that this commercial is necessarily stupid, but there is one thing that I’d like to point out: isn’t the plot of this whole scenario basically murder? Not just any murder, but first degree murder?

Seriously, if what defines a first degree murder is the premeditation for taking someone’s life, how is Roadiesaur’s plot to lure in Pop Tarts unknowingly into toasters where they’ll be baked to death not a prime example of it?

Everything about it is basically first degree murder; Roadiesaur plans on using the allure of rock stars to bait unsuspecting Pop Tarts into showing up. He then invites them into the bus, where the jig is up, when he pushes the switch, sinking them into their unexpected demise.

And then, he eats them!

The funny thing is that it’s apparently okay to portray first degree murder as long as it’s cartoons, and the characters are all things that couldn’t be any closer to human beings. But re-portraying this exact plot but with human characters, and whomever wrote the plot would be sought out for psychological help.

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