Stories that write themselves

Big weekend for semis hauling food crashing on Atlanta area highways. Still no Frito-Lay truck or the sort that contains a great deal of what would be classified as side items.

First, we have yet another beer truck crash up in Cobb County, dumping its contents all over I-75. How it overturned, who really knows, but know that it happened while going in a straight line, so whatever it was, it was truly stupid. Ultimately, the reaction is “no big deal,” because we’ve already had a beer truck crash in Atlanta within the last two years.

The food truck crash story of the weekend however, is this tractor truck full of watermelons dumping its contents all over the highways. Given the location of said incident, and the contents of the tractor trailer, this is my knee jerk reaction:

Yes, such is a tasteless joke, but it really is too easy to make. I mean really, 42,000 lbs. of watermelon, that’s a whole lot of fucking watermelon. It would be a shame if such a truck were to y’know, overturn, and dump its contents all over the place, and if some of it just so happened to disappear.

It really is amazing how dumb a lot of these tractor trailer drivers must be for this to happen with such frequency though. I mean, they can cry foul and claim that Atlanta interstate exchanges are too perilous and too dangerous, but really the onus is on them, and that they’re frankly poor drivers, not slowing down enough to handle the turns that transport millions of drivers on a daily basis.

But until they improve, it’s a veritable buffet, lost to Atlanta highways, on account of dumb truck drivers.

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