Gawker is Macho Man’s replacement

LOL: Hulk Hogan suing Gawker; again

“The Macho Man” Randy Savage (RIP) was a lot of things throughout his life; professional baseball player, professional wrestler, professional rapper, among other accolades.  However, one of the less glamorous titles in his life, was Hulk Hogan’s bitch.

I don’t say this with any disrespect either, because I loved the Macho Man.  But there’s really no other way to describe the fact that no matter where Macho Man went, he was always, always the second fiddle to Hulk Hogan.  Throughout his wrestling career, not only did Macho Man almost never defeat Hogan,* Macho Man won six world championships between the WWF and WCW; only to lose three of them to Hulk Hogan.  With the last two in WCW, not even getting to hold the belt for more than 24 hours each time, before dropping it to Hogan the night after winning them.

*honestly, I can’t recall a single instance where Macho pinned Hogan, cleanly

Even as a rapper, the one track that most people typically remember is the titular track Be A Man, where the chorus of the entire song is “Be a man, Hogan,” where Macho Man is repeatedly calling out Hulk Hogan in rhyme, but the point is clear that even long after their wrestling careers, Hogan was still implanted firmly in Macho’s butthole.

But anyway, back in 2011, Macho Man unfortunately died in a car accident.  Around this time,** Hulk Hogan’s life kind of began spiraling out of control, with his son being a fuckup, his gold-digging wife trying to take all his money, and his daughter’s singing career stalling harder than a Ford Festiva.

**unsubstantiated, but I don’t feel like checking my work, and it sounds better this way

Some might even say*** that despite being the greatest tormentor of Macho Man’s life, the void that Macho Man left in the life of the Hulkster might have been a greater tragedy than everything that Hogan did to Macho.

***entirely me

And since the death of Macho Man, Hogan’s life has been basically, shit.  For all of the aforementioned reasons I listed above, not to mention the tragic acceptance of Father Time wrestling the Hulkster further away from the industry that made him, not to mention when he got fired from the WWE because a horrifically racist rant was leaked out.

But much like the lessons of Hulkamania are meant to forge, one simply cannot keep Hulkamania down.  At 62 years old, it takes a little bit longer than the time it took back in 1990, but Hulk Hogan will always always eventually Hulk Up and the comeback will begin.  And unfortunately for the website formerly existing as Gawker, they were the jobber that thought they could suppress Hulkamania for good.

Little did they realize that fucking with Hulkamania is never a one-time affair, and that once one enters the stratosphere that circles around Hulkamania, death is pretty much the only way out of it.

Much like Hulk Hogan used to repeatedly kick Macho Man to the mat and drop the big leg over his head, it’s apparent that Gawker, has become the new punching bag for Hulk Hogan to Irish-whip back into the turnbuckle for another running clothesline of Hulkamania righteousness.

There’s a part of me that thought that defeating Gawker once, and pocketing a cool $140 million in the process might have been enough justice, but then I thought, you know, fuck Gawker.  It’s not like Hulk Hogan doesn’t have a second claim to drag them into court again, and hopefully take down a second time, for more millions of dollars.

Sure, the things Hogan said in his racist rant were abysmal and terrible, terrible things to hear any human being say, and not even in my own black-humored mind, could I formulate some of the things that he said.  But at the same time, they didn’t have to be released for the sole reason other than to intentionally damage another professional’s reputation.

As they’ve done with other people in their heyday, Gawker deliberately released information to the public that just might not have been the best idea in the world to release.  Except in this particular instance, they did it to Hulk Hogan, with hopes that it would weaken his stance in the courtroom, only for it fail, and like a good reversal, turn into fodder for this second lawsuit, that I certainly hope they’ll lose, like the first one.

And Hulk Hogan’s tasted blood now, having bent Gawker over once already.  I certainly hope that Hulkamania doubles back, and runs wild on them all over again

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