It couldn’t have happened anywhere else

In short: 28-year old man stabbed to death over Popeyes’ chicken sandwich in Oxon Hill, Maryland

Honestly, I’m more surprised it’s taken this long for there to be any killings over Popeyes’ chicken sandwich (that I haven’t been able to try but am highly skeptical that it has any possibility of living up to the hype much less being superior to Chick Fil-A or Bojangles).  Maybe there have been, but considering that nothing’s made the news like this one, I’m led to believe that this is the first.

But there we have it: a person was killed over the artificial mania created over a fucking chicken sandwich.

If this really was the first incident of someone dying over the craze over the Popeyes chicken sandwich, I have to say that it really couldn’t have first happened anywhere else than Oxon Hill, Maryland.  I’m actually quite familiar with Oxon Hill, and it’s not just me flinging shit and generalizing because I have an innate disdain for the state of Maryland; seeing as how my parents’ old barbecue restaurant was in Oxon Hill for seven years, and how I worked there for the last two, is specifically why I’m familiar with Oxon Hill and had developed such a disdain for the state of Maryland.

In fact, my parents’ old restaurant was literally two doors down the strip plaza from this specific Popeyes’ where a guy was stabbed to death over a chicken sandwich.  One my biggest pet peeves I had when I worked there was when people would get their meals at Popeyes and bring them into my parents’ restaurant and bought a small drink from us so they could justify sitting in our tiny dining area to eat because our business was so poor the last few years.

Needless to say, when I saw the original article stating a guy had been stabbed to death over a chicken sandwich in Oxon Hill, this specific Popeyes immediately came to mind.  Upon further details and seeing the Livingston Rd. address, I immediately knew it was the one right near my parents’ place, and then everything seemed so obvious right away.

Oxon Hill is like a mecca of ghettos.  It’s like the Jurassic Park of ghettos, where the worst and baddest hoodrats of the world all populate.  It’s such a ghetto, hoodrats from Baltimore, Southeast DC and College Park all shy away from going to Oxon Hill and probably say “nah, Oxon Hill is too ghetto for me.”

It is the least surprising thing in the world that if there was anywhere where the first death by stabbing over a chicken sandwich were to occur, it had to be Oxon Hill.  I wonder if Popeyes feels any remorse for the artificial demand that they generated has actually led to someone actually dying; I highly doubt it, but the point remains.  Ironically, I have to imagine Chick Fil-A is pretty stoked about the negative buzz that might finally ding the juggernaut known as the Popeyes chicken sandwich, because it’s the first real negative pockmark to actually come from the whole debacle.

Suffice to say, now that death has been put on the table, add that to the level of hype that this sandwich won’t live up to, because I don’t think any food on the face on the planet is worth potentially dying for.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m still curious about the Popeyes’ sandwich, but there’s no way it’s worth putting my life on the line to risk going to a restaurant in order to try and get one.

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