The city’s most baller taco parties for the less fortunate

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

That’s what I’d want to do if I had the manpower, time, cooking acumen, multitasking ability and most importantly, didn’t have to sweat the whole needing to work for a living thing.

I volunteered for a charity event at work, because sometimes I just want to get the fuck out of the office, and honestly I do like doing charity work, so it’s a win-win getting to do something that makes my soul feel a little less droll, but at the same time doing it under the banner of work, so I get out of the office and it makes me look good all the same.

It was for the Atlanta Community Food Bank’s pantry center out in Bumfuck Stone Mountain, South Carolina; admittedly, I didn’t really look much at the details of the event, so firstly I failed to see that it was in Stone Mountain instead of their main offices in West Midtown next to the Fulton County jail, but also since I’d done volunteer work for ACFB before in the past, I also assumed it would’ve been more manual labor of packing boxes or unloading pallets or something of a similar nature.

No, the pantry center is kind of cool, in the sense that it’s set up to look like a tiny grocery store, where needy families can make appointments to come and “shop” for donated food, in the name of preserving their dignity and giving them the opportunity to feel like they’re shopping instead of being handed handouts.  My task during my shift was to keep watch over the freezer area, to make sure people weren’t taking more than they were allowed to, as well as making sure the shelves were well stocked.

Obviously, I wasn’t going to be a hardass on people who needed this kind of service, so if there was the occasional person who grabbed a second package of frozen meat or pouch of lunch meat, I wasn’t going to say anything, and at the end of the shift, we had serve 75 families and donated about 6,000 lbs. of food, so as far as I’m concerned, I like the idea that we’re helping impoverished people as well as preventing a tremendous amount of food waste.

However, while on my shift, I couldn’t help but notice that the majority of the food stuffs we had on the shelves on this particular day, man, could we have thrown such a banging taco party if we were to just cook up all of the available food and distribute it to the homeless or give it out to low-income areas where people might be hungry.

Tons of chicken and beef products were in the freezers; at or past their marked expiration dates, but if they were thawed and cooked that day, it wouldn’t be a problem.  There were pallets of taco kits, so all the meat could be seasoned and doled out in crispy corn shells.  Cans of beans, pinto and refried were in massive quantities, and some Whole Foods somewhere donated an endless amount of bags of blue corn tortilla chips.

Needless to say, plenty of ingredients for a baller taco party were on hand, and I was thinking during my shift that if I were like a more ambitious type or something, what I’d want to do is just take all of the meat and taco kids and tortilla chips in the pantry that day, cook up a ridiculous amount of tacos, and be that guy that goes around the city giving away taco meals to homeless people, or title-1 school kids or anyone in the city that is hungry, needs a little food assistance or just wants to get together to share tacos for a greater cause.

It’s definitely one of those ideas that only those with time, manpower and not needing to sweat the need to work for wages could accomplish, but hey, there are worse ideas to ponder about when you’re trying to do something good in the world.

#TRYHARDSZN2024: Not Exclusive to America

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Reach for the stars, boy: 12th grader in Hanoi accepted into multiple schools in America, including two of Ivy Leagues

One of the primary differences I noticed about an Asian news outlet reporting a #TRYHARD versus an American one is that they don’t hide the fact that these kids might not be batting 1.000 when it comes to acceptance rates:

received acceptance letters from 11 out of 17 U.S. universities he applied to this admissions season.

So in high-expectation Asian dad logic, boy failed six times, full stop.  Disgrace get out of my house

The only consolation to this colossal failure is that among the schools that he did get accepted into, they were some notable places, like Yale and Cornell, two of the Ivy Leagues, as well as well-known schools like Johns Hopkins and Duke. 

But not Harvard, that was probably one of his six failures.  In fact, all six of those failures were probably the Ivies he didn’t get into.  SMH

The funny thing is that as altruistic as his ambitions are, his resume isn’t nearly as impressive as some other ones I’ve seen this #TRYHARDSZN2024.  Failed to get into six schools, didn’t get a perfect SAT score, 1540/1600, scored a 4 or 5 in all his AP courses, and the kicker, does not have a 4+ GPA.  He’s close, with a 3.95, but this SZN alone we’ve seen numerous kids with like 4.5+ which means this boy is clearly dicking around with his life way too much probably playing League of Legends or watching streamers and not studying instead.

For real though, unlike a lot of these #TRYHARDS this one seems to actually be reaching for the stars and going to Yale, and not necessarily phishing for a free ride somewhere, and going to take what’s going to make the most economic sense, not that there’s anything wrong with that either.

Because unlike a lot of other #TRYHARDS, this one admits that he comes from a privileged family, which answers the question of how he might be able to afford Yale’s alleged $64K yearly tuition which probably doesn’t account for books, boarding, food and discretion.

And that’s the one big divide that separates this #TRYHARD from all others, because this one comes from money, and Vietnam is no America in terms of wealth, but they’re also no Nicaragua either; but that doesn’t stop him from being a #TRYHARD and applying to a boatload of schools that people without as much privilege but not too little and get their application fees waived, cannot afford to.

Dad Brog (#131): Con Pollo es mierda

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Look at this photograph of Jennifer Lopez and Jimmy Fallon.  They’re laughing at all the parents whom they duped into buying their “collaboration” book, Con Pollo.  Frankly, I don’t know how my household ended up with this book, we’ve inherited a lot of books and mythical wife has a lot of books from school, and we’re often given books as gifts for the girls, because it’s known just how much we read to them.  I just know that I didn’t purchase it, because if I saw anything “authored” by Jimmy Fallon or Jennifer Lopez, I probably wouldn’t have bought it, especially if it was by both of them.

But somehow, this book exists in my home, and all I can think of it is just how much bullshit it is.  It’s 48 pages of a basic journey of a young chicken doing things throughout the day, but it’s more like 24, because it’s this format where query is asked two times, with the second time in Español.  I haven’t taken Spanish since the 9th grade in high school, but even I can recollect the basic words being spouted in this book.

In all fairness, it contains more words than MAMA or DADA or BABY like all of Fallon’s previous, and unfortunate New York Times bestsellers, which means that Jennifer Lopez probably used her IQ points to insert some basic words, in two languages at their most basic forms into this.

And then they slap their names on it and call it a day, and of course, because there are lots of parents who impulse buy because they see celebrity names on it instead of actually checking to see what the substance of the books themselves, this too is a New York Times bestseller.  Which further emphasizes the sheer lack of merit or sales numbers actually necessary to earn that seemingly important designation.

Frankly, it’s crap like this that exemplifies the notion that celebrities shouldn’t be allowed to write books, other than autobiographies.  Most of the time, they’re wholly unqualified to produce content that might actually have some influence on the young budding minds of tomorrow, as demonstrated by Fallon, who clearly roped J-Lo into putting her name on a turd to help fling it off shelves so that some rich fucks can get even richer.

I look forward to the future book audit where this fails to meet the cut, and ends up in the donation pile, so it can rot someone else’s shelves and collections, and be the fuck out of mine.

Wrestlemania XL brought to you by, MAGAlcohol

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Originally I had intended on this post being a part of the post I had made about how Wrestlemania basically sold out as hard as a NASCAR event with how many sponsorships they’ve piled into the production of their grandest event of the year™, but I felt that it had some legs of its own and I had lots of jokes and puns that I thought were the best things ever, cementing my obvious status as the dad who makes dad jokes that are only hilarious to myself.

Among the numerous sponsors that the WWE allowed to dump money into ‘Mania this year, this particular one stood out leaps and bounds above the others for me, one because of just how uncomfortably white-wing it comes off, but also finding out that they’ve basically bought Cody Rhodes and plastered their branding all over his American Nightmare™ bus, but we’ll circle back to that part later in the post.

On purpose, I’m not going to use mention their name because fuck them for being some creepy dog whistle white-wing racist undertone company, but as if that doesn’t set the stage enough, that’s basically the gist of what their commercial and branding seems to exude.

It starts with a catch-phrase that does rhyme but doesn’t necessarily roll off the tongue so easily, and I want to play the Stewie Griffin game with their name, because of the “wh” in it, and that serves to ramp up the difficulty in saying their name or mocking their jingle.

But as the commercial continues to unfold, it’s as if they’re continuously doubling and tripling down on their pride of being whiter than, well, a right-wing gathering, because as the scenes change to larger and larger groups of what appears to be solely white people, it’s apparent that this is a company that really gives no flying fucks about DEI and they want viewers to know that.

They even have a ridiculous line where they ponder why Moscow gets the mule, and while looking up the YouTube video to take a screen grab from, they’ve already posted a recipe for “American Mule” which is basically the exact same thing as a Moscow Mule except not Russian; which in itself is laughable considering so many orange guy disciples love Russia as much as he does.

As the commercial ends, only one word or phrase popped into my head: MAGAlcohol, because that’s precisely what the fuck this shit actually is. 

I’m not much of a vodka drinker, other than the sparse times where I like a cranberry vodka, but I kind of feel bad for the spirit itself.  MAGAlcohol makes me not want to have any vodka in general, because it’s murdering the entire category for me as if it were a white cop pressing his knee on a defenseless black man’s neck on asphalt.

Getting back to Cody Rhodes, I was abhorred when footage of him arriving to the Linc was shown, and Corey Graves was being a good soldier, by not failing to mention that his entire bus was also co-sponsored by MAGAlcohol, and I could feel my eyes widen at the disgusting sight of it.  Just when I was beginning to soften my stance on Cody Rhodes, and beginning to turn face on my opinion of him, he has to go and associate with MAGAlcohol, and I’m pumping the brakes at how much I want to support him. 

In some regards, I get it, he’s the American Nightmare, his ring attire is basically a Homelander from The Boys skin, and he’s a white guy from Georgia.  There’s few guys at his stature in the business that would be as worth co-sponsoring as Cody Rhodes.

But he’s also a pretty sensible, intelligent human being, from what I can surmise from interviews and the way he conducts himself in and out of the business.  I would’ve assumed that he would’ve been a little more cerebral than to associate himself with a company that clearly has no hidden agenda on whom they want their demographic to be.

Oh and his wife is also black.  I know that Brandi Runnels seems to be as white-washed as perhaps I am, but when push comes to shove, white folks wouldn’t hesitate to throw her under the bus if there was an incident that needed a minority scapegoat and she was within eyesight.

Perhaps it was out of his control, and it was the bigwigs at the E that forced it onto him.  But I would’ve also figured Cody, by now, and at his position within the company, would have the ability to veto this if he really wanted to.  But as so many legends in the business have so often said, the business is all about as making as much money as you can, because there will come a day when you can do it anymore.

Not that I think Cody was starving before his associate with MAGAlcohol, but accepting more money when you’re already rich is among the whitest things a white guy can do, so unfortunately, as much as The Story has been compelling, there is a little turd in the celebratory punch bowl, that most definitely does not make it go down so sweetly.

Re: the literal selling out of Wrestlemania

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Normally, I’d wait until both nights of Wrestlemania had passed before passing on any sort of judgment, but this is fresh on my mind, and I’ve got this small window of time to write where it’s not enough to take a nap or do anything other than knock out a quick brog post.

The title of this post is not indicative to what I thought the quality of the show, at least Night 1 was for Wrestlemania, but it’s to refer to the fact that this show, and probably going forward future shows, had more sponsorships than a NASCAR race.  Prime energy drink, Snickers, Dude Wipes, Credit One, some Insurance company, and some super creepy right-wing sounding vodka company that I’ll circle back to later, but it was evident that every match had a sponsor, commercials were being aired in between every match for non-premium Peacock subscribers.

Very literally, Wrestlemania sold the fuck out.  They’re probably making millions of dollars in doing so, and I don’t judge that, but for a company that used to have zero in-ring sponsorship and usually relying on a singular chief sponsor per show, it is a stark contrast of the yesteryears, the generations of wrestling fans are hell-bent on creating a rift from then and now.

Prime had the top turnbuckle, and their logo emblazoned in the center of the ring, and it made Cody Rhodes look like he was kissing the Prime logo during his entrance.  Dude Wipes appeared to sponsor more matches than anyone else, and there’s something to be said the demographic when company that manufactures basically baby wipes for grown men has such sponsorship flex during a professional wrestling event, especially the magnitude of Wrestlemania.

My brother was the one who pointed it out, but he brought up the query on if it was fucked up or not, that the match that had a team of three black women, was the only match of the night to have been sponsored by WingStop.  I didn’t notice it at first, but once it was pointed out to me, I couldn’t not see the giant-ass WingStop logo lighting up the LED apron board and on the ring barrier throughout the match, and it definitely falls into the category of that’s fucked up.

Like seriously, surely there are marketing people at the E, and at some point, they’re milling among themselves, or coordinating with their sponsors, namely the WingStop people, and somewhere at some point, while divvying up the on-screen advertising, made the conscious decision that the match featuring Naomi, Bianca Belair and Jade Cargill, was the appropriate time to advertise WingStop.  Not that I was trying to be an eagle eye, but I don’t recall seeing them advertise again after that match.

I haven’t paid that much attention to the card for Night 2, but I do know that there is a match featuring Bobby Lashley and the Street Profits, and I have this sneaking suspicion that WingStop might be the chief sponsor for that match too now.

Everyone else can get Dude Wipes for the colossal amounts of shit that much be swirling around the city of Philadelphia’s sewer systems from 150,000 neckbeard wrestling fans converging in a single location.  Too bad most of them will believe their claim that they’re flushable, because there’s no such thing as a flushable wipe, and the streets of Philly are destined to be overflown by sewage at some point sooner rather than later.  But I guess such wouldn’t really be that far off from daily life up there.

#TRYHARDSZN2024: That’s one way to get out of Arkansas

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Just 4?  Arkansas high school senior accepted into four Ivy League schools among numerous other acceptances

Not a lot of context given with this tryhard.  But at least 7 On My Side doesn’t question the intelligence of its readers by giving some superficial combined value of all her college acceptances and claim she’s miraculously in possession of $1.6M scholarship dollars, because that’s always bullshit in the grand spectrum of #TRYHARDSZN.

But 16 college acceptances, with four of them being Ivy Leagues, not bad.  Harvard, Colombia, Penn and Cornell, and with the article not even mentioning money, it’s my assumption that these are merely acceptances and good luck getting together the money to tuition sure hope daddy is a doctor of the variety that actually makes money.

Otherwise a good scattering of college acceptances that are actually named, which means that this kid isn’t just flinging college applications into the wind like Gambit throwing cards, with almost all of them being out of state, which is a safe assumption that this kid wants the fuck out of Arkansas.

Considering what her family name is, and the fact that her biliteracy is in Arabic, which I can’t imagine is particularly useful in a state like fucking Arkansas, I imagine the goal is ultimately to get out of the state by any means necessary, but if she can manage to get a decent education in the process, then that’s a double win.

Laughably, the article does point out that the one full-ride offer she has, is to Hendrix; not going to lie, I had to Google them, and it turns out that they’re a liberal arts college in, you guessed it: Arkansas.  And when decision time comes about, that full-ride is always a hard thing to ignore, especially from families of immigrants.

You know what they say though, sometimes if you don’t tryhard, you die hard, which I’ve literally never heard anyone say but one of my close friends.

Dad Brog (#130): Parenthood did this

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

I haven’t really felt much like writing over the last week or two.  It’s like no matter how much I try to streamline my days and look for ways to open up a little bit more time in the evenings to where I can have some quiet, wind-down time to myself, the more it seems like the windows of freedom get smaller and smaller.

Whether it’s daily chores and the resetting of the house for the kids to wreck it the following day, food prep for the kids, side projects that have long since gotten to the point where it almost feels like a chore but I still have to follow it through to the end, or when I feel like I need to do some exercise, what used to be 4-5 hours a night of downtime feels more like three hours, sometimes two, where I feel like I can actually goof off and do something, not necessarily productive.

And then I get choice paralysis and/or trapped into doom scrolling on my phone, where I fall into a reel pit of Game of Thrones clips where I muse about how good the television show really was in spite of the dodgy ending.  Now I have like an hour to myself, and an hour doesn’t feel like an adequate time to get my head into the act of writing, so I end up watching Ted Lasso clips on YouTube or continuing to fall into the pit of old GoT clips among other useless things.

Or, I watch an episode of Yellowstone, which is actually something that’s been on my list of things to watch.  I’m on season three currently, and I’m relieved that save for the pilot episode, the episodes are a fairly manageable 45~minute range.  It’s not necessarily the banger of a series that I thought it might be, but at the same time it’s still slowly intriguing.  I have yet to watch Succession, which is another show on my list, but given what I know about that show, I feel like Yellowstone is basically a cowboy version of it.

Not giving anything away, but some of the moments of the show that I’ve found myself enjoying every time, is whenever Kevin Costner’s John Dutton character, is interacting with his grandson, Tate.  At least so far, the boy is as innocent to the world as they come, and in spite of being the cunning mastermind of just about everything that goes on in Yellowstone, Montana, John Dutton turns into a tender, caring and seemingly awesome grandfather to Tate, and as a parent to young children, it’s scenes like these that pique my interest every time they present themselves.

But it’s not just Yellowstone solely, I’ve come to the realization that when it comes to watching shows or movies, what tends to elicit the most uncomfortable reaction out of me is whenever there’s anything pertaining to violence, trauma or just a negative situation against young kids.  Like if a kid is in danger, I find my anxiety beginning to spike, and these are the instances where I feel like I might squirm or squeeze an arm rest. 

It bleeds my heart when children characters have to deal with non-physical trauma like learning of a death in the family, abandonment, or divorcing parents.  Just about anything that results in a child becoming sad, breaking out in tears or wailing out hits a place in me that obviously didn’t exist prior to having children myself.

I’m not saying that I was ever immune to empathy for children prior to having my own, but now that I do, it’s amplified and it’s almost like I’m going to start needing trigger warnings on things that feature children having to deal with trauma of any sort.  Having my Dada-radar tripped and bringing me close to tears watching innocuous television is something I didn’t know was going to happen when I had children.