The things that shape us

I’m not entirely sure what brought this memory to surface, but when I look back at it, I feel like it deserves a bit of contribution to shaping who I am today. Meaning that someone was once harshly abrasive towards me with racist undertones, contributing towards making me the person who is astute to racist issues while laughing at them at the same time.

When I was in the fifth grade, I remember being pulled out of class, and taken to the office. Back in elementary school, I was a pretty non-descript unpopular fat kid (can’t really say that much has changed) who mostly kept quiet, so this occurrence was puzzling to me, as well as concerning as getting pulled into the office would be for any grade school kid. The lady that pulled me out of class was one of the ESL teachers; I have always spoken English, being born in the states, so this was doubly puzzling.

Anyway, I was sat down in one of the cushy office chairs in the waiting area, and the woman stood in front of me and with a narrowing of the eyes, and the finger of accusation pointed at my face, began tearing into me.

“Where are your parents from??”
“Do you know what they’ve gone through??”

But then came the words “How DARE you??” and I knew that I was being accused of something. What it was, I don’t really know, because frankly I don’t recall to having done a single thing wrong in this particular instance. The bottom line is that I don’t recall all of the specific words, but it was clear that this was a race-related issue at hand, because it was the ESL teacher (who was white, by the way), who naturally by nature of her job, dealt with all of the foreign-born students to whom English was not their native language.

The thing was though, she was approaching this lecture to me in what I thought was the absolute worst approach ever; by disciplining racism with well, racism. Her scathing reprimand on me targeted my parents, my Korean heritage, and there were a lot of undertones insinuating that my being Korean was somewhat of a pejorative. I sat there kind of leaned back, trying to get away from her finger point of righteous American justice, during her entire maniacal tirade, completely baffled out of my mind to why this was going on.

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Among other things, the internet ruins wrestling

When the fans were chanting for Brock Lesnar fifteen minutes before he was supposed to “shock the world” with his return, I couldn’t help but wonder what was going on in John Cena’s head, since he was the guy in the ring trying to cut a promo, but being drowned out by the Lesnar chants.  Also, I couldn’t help but wonder what was going on in the minds of WWE upper management and Vince McMahon at what was transpiring before their very eyes and ears – every single person in an arena, completely already in the know of what was probably carefully prepared, scripted and planned to be a big surprise.  I wonder if someone got fired as a result, or even more meta, this was all perhaps an even bigger elaborate ruse!  But I kind of doubt it.

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Awkward is . . .

Yes, the thought of knowing that Pedobear might be watching you pee is a little awkward (btw, this was taken on the wall in front of a men’s urinal at the Borders in Marietta, Georgia).

But that’s not what my awkward moment of the day is.

Awkward is, getting a call from the agency, and telling me that the company where I met the girl, is calling, and is in need of designers.  And seeing as how I can’t seem to get myself a real job, and the work well has been a drier than a 70-year old nun’s twat, I’ve little choice but to accept, since it is 3-4 weeks of guaranteed work.

I know that I probably won’t ever hear from her, or see her again.

Welp, I was wrong.

Honestly, I don’t really know what to expect.  Actually, on second thought, I do – probably a bit of coldness, forced ignorance, lots of ear buds, and of course, awkwardness.  Going to be an interesting next few days . . .