Tag: booze

We’re long past how the mighty have fallen

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Sauce: WWE Hall of Famer, Tammy Sytch “Sunny,” pleads no-contest to vehicular manslaughter under the influence, faces upwards of 25 years in prison

I haven’t really kept tabs on Sunny since her gradual disappearance from the world of professional wrestling, but when the story came out a while ago where she killed a guy in a drunken car crash, it opened the doors to wondering how her life had gotten to this point.  The last time I really saw her was when RAW had their 1,000th episode, and I remember thinking how she had held up pretty damn well, but it’s abundantly clear that the last 12 years of her life most definitely have not.

I knew she had some legal issues and had been in and out of jail a few times, but nothing seemed more than her own dumb choices of DUIs and being flippant about parole or unauthorized travel, so despite her poor judgment, at least she wasn’t like a hot mess of violence or more than a drunk for a criminal.  Frankly, her manslaughter charge, as tragic as it is that it resulted in loss of life, was just her doing what she had been doing, but to an extreme point, seeing as how she allegedly blew a ridiculous .280 BAC, which is almost as impressive as Johnny Damon’s also-Florida drunken escapades.

So we’re long past the point of stating how the mighty have fallen, because over the last twelve years, ‘ol Sunny has fallen quite a bunch of times, but not to as severe of a degree as this one.  Goes to show that being one of the original OG breakers of the internet back in the day really doesn’t have any monetary worth, although like many people in my generation, probably feels she would have thrived in today’s society with what they had at the table back in the day.

Honestly, the only reason this post came to fruition was the .280 BAC and how it reminded me of how amused I was with Johnny Damon’s DUI.  Frankly, I was never really a fan of Sunny, even if she was supposed to be eye candy, and as time has passed, aside from her personal demons, I’ve never really heard much good about her ever.  She was not well-liked in the locker room, mostly due to her ego on top of the typical chauvinistic culture back then, but much as come out with her extramarital affairs and basically how she cuckolded her husband Chris Candido numerous times, which doesn’t really jive with my ideals.

You can take the trailer park trash out of New Jersey, but can’t take the New Jersey out of the trailer park trash.  Especially when they relocate to the trailer parks of Florida instead.

But if I really have to have a last word on this, I suppose it’s for the best for all parties that Sunny gets the book thrown at her.  Not only will she be taken off the streets and be one less liability of a driver to not DWI and kill any other innocents, perhaps some nice quiet time in incarceration is what she actually needs to try and overcome her personal demons.

Yeah I doubt this was an isolated incident

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Veteran maneuver: employee of the year-caliber teacher found to have alcoholic beverage on school premises during school hours

Considering mythical wife’s choice of profession, stories like this always catch my attention.  Frankly, even if she weren’t a teacher, it would probably still pique my interest because of how ironically funny and horrifically frightening it is at the same time.

The thing is, this teacher was caught very recently having booze in the classroom, but I would wager a substantial amount of money that this is far, far, faaarrr from an isolated incident.  Make no mistake, this teacher has probably been microdosing her alcoholism for years, and this was the only time in which she got caught.

It’s the classic suburban white Karen move, of carrying around an innocuous-looking reusable plastic cup with a straw that looks like it’s just water, green drink or some Karen-y shit like Crystal Ice, but it’s really one of those things plus three fingers of Dewars or Ketel One, or it’s straight up a screwdriver or a Sex on the Beach, and the lid helps obscure it.

Except that this broad was a teacher, and doing all of the above, on the clock while being in charge of at least 17+ children belonging to other people, and not smuggling her margarita out of TGI Friday’s in her kid’s sippy cup, which adds to the horrific revelation of this story.

Like I said, the scariest part about this is that there’s no question that she’s been doing this for a while.  Like a functioning addict, her justification to herself is that the booze is probably what makes her as effective of a teacher worthy to be an employee of the year, to where she feels justified to keep doing it.  But I guess she got a little too cocky, too complacent, or a little too tolerant, and she was a little heavier on the sauce than usual to the point where she slipped up and put herself in a situation where she was discovered.

Obviously, she’s gone, and no longer in charge of any other human beings, but the damage in trust has been done.  It’s bad enough there are schools in America that have metal detectors and bag searches for the students, I’m sure security protocols would be thrilled with having to add bottle sniffing onto their responsibilities, not just from the students, but the teachers as well.

Welp, it’s been a while

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Ordinary news: massive accident on I-285 shuts down the entire interstate for 10 hours.  Brog news: tractor trailer involved in the crash was carrying beer

As the subject line reads, it’s been a while since I came across a story about a truck crash on Georgia’s highways.  Obviously I live under a rock and don’t really keep my eyes peeled for these, and in all fairness, it was mythical wife who came across it, and it didn’t really pique my interest until the mention about the part where the tractor trailer that was involved in this whole fracas, was carrying beer.

Not that it really matters anymore, because I’m long past the days of where I had intrinsically remembered every type of consumable that had spilled onto Georgia highways, but still, it’s always a tickle to go back in time a little bit to find some inspiration to write on account of booze spilling all over the roads.

The thing is, where this crash occurred, at Ashford-Dunwoody on I-285, this is probably one of the most infamous exits in the state.  Not only is the specific spot a logistical disaster nightmare zone, because it’s close to where GA-400 intersects and that’s a state route that will never seemingly get its shit together or never not be tampered with at any given point in time, for whatever reason, shit just keeps happening here.  Most notably, a few years ago, it’s where an armored truck carrying like $385,000 or some large sum of cash, the doors just popped open and people were basically getting out of their cars in the middle of traffic to try and snatch as much cash as they could, regardless of how illegal it was to do so.

The details of this entire thing are what was the most compelling thing about it, regardless of the presence of beer.  The fire apparently raged so hot, that it created all sorts of structural concerns of the asphalt as well as the integrity of the bridge that it occurred under.  Obviously, it hasn’t been that long since Atlanta was the laughing stock of the country again, for the whole I-85 bridge collapse, and I’m sure GADOT was having flashback and PTSD about the risk of something like that happening again, so they clearly erred on the side of caution when they shut down the highway to assess the damage, lest the bridge over I-285 collapsed, taking out a pretty substantial surface street vein.

All things considered, it was no Japan fixing a lake-sized sinkhole in 7 days impressive, but the fact that GADOT was actually able to get I-285 up and running again in 7 hours is still substantial and for ‘Murican standards, pretty impressive.

Man, What a Stupid Commercial (#018)

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Blowing the dust off this ‘ol category here . . . 

Good thing I don’t drink Hennessy, because this is the kind of shit that would make me stop if I did: some hokey campaign or promotion called “Original Odyssey” supposedly meant to feature Asian culture.  First episode, the one being pushed to the moon to help boost the awareness of it, starring two hafus, Henry Golding and Liv Lo.

Yeah, going real super Asian there, Hennessy.

Yes, it’s shitty to go all Asian-on-hafuAsian criticism because Asians in general don’t need any more bullshit piled on top of them, but this is more to criticize Hennessy for trying to do some sort of Asian awareness, but still being racist and superficial enough to only draft guys like Henry Golding to be their spokespeople.  The guy is about as Asian as Chinese food in America and has a fucking British accent.  His wife is half Italian, and between the two of them, they have the gene pool for a single Asian.

But then they go blathering on about just how Asian they are and pretending to make Singaporean rib soup, chasing it with some shitty spirits, and I’m rolling my eyes wondering on whether or not to brog about this or not.  But the frequency in which I keep getting these ads in social media, and the right circumstances hit, here we are, with me hating on a bullshit campaign intending to be for Asian awareness, but coming from a company that doesn’t have the courage to actually feature any real Asians.

It’s like that episode of King of the Hill where the Laotian country club that Khan keeps getting denied membership to, talk about a golf tournament they’ll have where the greatest Asian golfer of all time is slated to show up: Tiger Woods.  It really is kind of like that joke.

TFW your BAC is higher than your career BA

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

It’s that time of the year again in spite of the fact that like a year ago, it’s probably still not a very good idea, but because Major League Baseball is a machine that demands its financial tithe, the 2021 season is a-go, and it’s Spring Training all over parts of Florida and Arizona, or wherever each team is actually deciding to try and get their bodies into shape for another unnecessary season of sports while a pandemic is still very much in play.

But the specific time in which I am referring to is that with Spring Training afoot, it’s only a matter of time before a baseball player, personnel, executive or alum, makes the news having gotten a DUI, most likely from a little too much fraternization and/or having a good time with the boys.

In this case, it was an alum, in former All-Star outfielder Johnny Damon, getting pulled over and arrested for driving under the influence in Florida. And naturally, because it’s completely relevant to the conversation, the article makes sure to mention that in his baseball career, he had 2,796 hits, 235 home runs, and a career batting average of .284.

It’s one of my favorite clichés about professional athletes getting in trouble with the law.

However in this case, it actually does provide a little bit of interesting context, because batting average is a decimal number measured by three digits, much like a breathalyzer test, and in the case of Johnny Damon’s two tests, he allegedly blew both a .300 and a .294, to which I hope most people can do the math, is well past three times the legal limit of .080. I mean, anything over .000 is illegal in the state of Georgia and I’m okay with that frankly because (in a non-pandemic world) ridesharing has made any sort of driving with any booze in the system completely unnecessary.

But back to the topic at hand, not only is .294 a staggeringly high blood alcohol content that literally states that nearly 30% of his body’s blood diluted by booze, it’s higher than his career batting average. Which is ironically impressive, because a career .284 batting average is actually pretty quite good, so the fact that he was able to surpass his batting average on a night out is pretty amazing.

Obviously in the grand spectrum of things this is really pathetic; most baseball fans know Damon as kind of face of the 2004 Red Sox that came back from the 3-0 deficit to the Yankees and ultimately won the World Series, but now he’s this sad sack of retired professional athlete with too much time, privilege and money to do stupid shit, like get trashed three times the legal limit. More than likely Damon won’t do any sort of time or get anything more than a fine and slap on the wrist, whereas any ordinary American would be in pound-me-in-the-ass prison by now, most definitely if it were any sort of person of color. But since there’s little anyone can actually do about it, all we can really do, is make jokes.

Advent Beer #24: Weizenbock Hell by Ladenburger

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

And here we are, hours before the clock strikes midnight, bringing on Christmas of the vaunted year of 2020, and I am sipping on the final and 24th beer of the Costco advent calendar.

When I pulled this can out of the fridge, my first thought was, WTF another Hell beer?  Obviously by now, I can recall that “hell” in Deutsch means “bright” and not the devils and pitchforks hell-hell, I’ve had so many hells over the last 24 days.  But at the same time, I’m thinking, if this is the last beer in the entire collection, surely it must be good to warrant it being the finale to a beer drinker’s journey, right?

Regardless of my general disdain for the seeming lack of originality in putting forth yet another hell bier, and not like another dunkel, I remained hopeful that this would be good, in spite of the fact that all the other hell biers sit uncomfortably at the bottom third of the rankings, due to their general boredom and lack of interesting characteristics.

Pouring this bier into my das boot, I’m greeted with both a strong aroma, and the sight of a cloudy, amber bier, both of which bode well for my hopes, as cloudy usually equals flavorful, and if you can smell it, it probably isn’t going to be bland.

The first sip is met with a ton of fruity notes and a pretty intense flavor.  I’m kind of reminded of a Lonerider Shotgun Betty, which is a tremendous compliment in its own right, and it should be reminded that a former #1 in the rankings, the Bearjew Weisse (#16) got that position mostly because of its similarities to Shotgun Betty.  So the fact that this also has similarities to the characteristics that makeup Shotgun Betty and Bearjew Weisse means that this has to rate well, right?

As I drink this beer, I’m feeling that the fruity notes are a little on the too intense side of things, and there’s a surprising amount of kick at the end.  Examining the can, I read that this has an ABV of 7.4%, which I believe makes it the most potent bier in the collection, which I guess kind of explains why this is the one they end on, because it’s the one that’s going to punch the hardest.

By slotting Weizenbock Hell into #5, that solidifies the rankings as there are no more beers to go.  I liked Weizenbock Hell a good bit, it’s easily the strongest bier to have put into my das boot, but when the day is over, it’s falling beneath a more balanced Shotgun Betty clone (Bearjew), two dunkels (Jubilation Suds and Kirta), and my first (supposed) exposure to a kellierbier (First Coral).  Weizenbock is a strong finish to the entire collection, and the fact that it cracked the top-5 at the very end speaks volumes to the quality of this finale.

And with that, concludes 24 days of biers from Deutschland.  I have enjoyed it, and making it an excuse to carve out a little bit of time each night to write about something I’m most definitely not an expert in, but one of the big takeaways I get from this is that a lot of ‘Murican beer is about as mediocre in comparison to a mishmash of biers randomly collected from another country, but maybe that can be chalked up to a grass is greener logic.  I wonder if whatever country drew ‘Murican Beer Advent Calendar is as impressed with theirs as I am with Deutschland’s?

Current Rankings:

  1. Jubilation Suds (#18)
  2. Bearjew Weisse (#16)
  3. First Coral (#2)
  4. Kirta (#5)
  5. Weizenbock Hell (#24)
  6. Turbo Prop (#6)
  7. Schwarze Tinte (#13)
  8. Perlenzauber (#9)
  9. Loncium Vienna Style Lager (#12)
  10. Märzenbier (#20)
  11. Jubiläumsbier 333 (#7)
  12. Landgang Pils (#23)
  13. Zwönitzer Steinbier (#4)
  14. Alpen Stoff (#17)
  15. Kurpfalz Bräu Kellerbier (#22)
  16. Erl Hell (#19)
  17. Grandl (#11)
  18. Altbairisch Hell (#15)
  19. Hell (#1)
  20. Tannen Hell (#8)
  21. Perlenzauber IPA (#21)
  22. Tradition (#10)
  23. Hallertauer Hopfen-Cuvee (#14)
  24. Käuzle (#3)

Advent Beer #23: Landgang Pils by Landgang Brauerei

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

What I’ve been doing every single day is that right before I pull the day’s can out of the fridge, I pull the next day’s can out of the box, to prepare it for the next day.  I try my best to not look at the can when I’m doing such, because as has been the routine, I like to be surprised when I pull it out of the fridge.  However, when I pulled this can out of the box yesterday, it was impossible to not notice the lime green color all over the can, and I was wondering if they had just snuck a tallboy of fucking Surge into the box.  Frankly, that wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world, but I knew I was getting a lime green-ass can tonight.

Anyway, so when I retrieved the can today, I looked quizzically at the design of the can.  First, I quickly identified that it was a pilsner, mostly because it’s listed on the bottom of the can, but then I couldn’t help but notice that they’ve basically put Shipwreck from GI Joe on the can itself for some reason, and I’m just sitting there with this wtf look on my face.

Typically, when I see something short-called “Pils,” it makes me think of Sam Adams’ Noble Pils, which is one of my more preferred beers in spite of the hoppiness of it.  I normally equate pilsners that identify themselves with lots of hops as IPAs and I think I’ve made clear how I feel about IPAs, but after stuff like Noble Pils and bier #6 Turbo Prop, I’m in this gray area of love and hate with some of them.  But seeing as how I’ve been determined to have at least one quality beer with the days remaining, out of my das boot, I was skeptical that I’d be relying on the final day of the calendar to hope to get something particularly good.

Shipwreck Pils doesn’t have a lot of aroma, pours very light, and looks every bit like a classic pilsner.  The first sip is immediately satisfying, but there’s a little bit of an odd finish at the end that negates a lot of the good will set by the first taste.  Overall, it’s an okay bier, that I think sits firmly in the middle of the pack as far as all of the Deutsch beers are concerned.  There have been many better, but at the same time, there have been several that have been decidedly worse than this one.

It is a bier that I could easily see myself having several of them, but that’s if someone else were paying for them provided I were drinking Shipwreck Pils only.  If it were on my own euro, I’d probably be seeking out something else, like a dunkel or a weizen, but for what it’s worth, this wasn’t bad at all.  If it means anything at all, of the three beers I’ve drinken out of my boot, this has been the best one.

Tomorrow marks the final day of the advent calendar, and I’ve already seen the color of the can, but know nothing else.  I really hope the box saved one of the best for last, but regardless, this has been a fun little exercise, and excuse to write daily.

Current Rankings:

  1. Jubilation Suds (#18)
  2. Bearjew Weisse (#16)
  3. First Coral (#2)
  4. Kirta (#5)
  5. Turbo Prop (#6)
  6. Schwarze Tinte (#13)
  7. Perlenzauber (#9)
  8. Loncium Vienna Style Lager (#12)
  9. Märzenbier (#20)
  10. Jubiläumsbier 333 (#7)
  11. Landgang Pils (#23)
  12. Zwönitzer Steinbier (#4)
  13. Alpen Stoff (#17)
  14. Kurpfalz Bräu Kellerbier (#22)
  15. Erl Hell (#19)
  16. Grandl (#11)
  17. Altbairisch Hell (#15)
  18. Hell (#1)
  19. Tannen Hell (#8)
  20. Perlenzauber IPA (#21)
  21. Tradition (#10)
  22. Hallertauer Hopfen-Cuvee (#14)
  23. Käuzle (#3)