Tag: fail

This is oddly validating

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

We’re #1!  Or #50:  Georgia ranks first (or last) in happiness of employees, according to rando website, then reported by WSB

Considering the fact that I have very specific brog tags for “ohatlanta” and “ohgeorgia” I’ve been critical of my home state since basically, I moved here.  It did not take too long for me to recognize bullshit when I saw it, combined with the age in which I moved here, really growing up into bullshit recognition and as my generation is often liked to be labeled, as woke, there is an odd sense of ironic satisfaction at seeing Georgia win, or tank at employee happiness. 

It validates a lot of criticisms I’ve had and witnessed throughout my life living here, and there’s a part of me that likes to pawn off my own struggles with depression as having reason on account of working.

But back to the data aggregation itself, the rankings were based on criteria such as quit rates, commute times, working hours, injuries, paid time off and state positivity levels.  Considering the fact that Georgia has turned into a battleground state politically, it obviously has a very high rate of contention in general state happiness, as at any given point, nearly half the state is pissed about the color of it.  But if I had to guess what is really anchoring down the state’s general workforce happiness, has got to be the commute times, in which is further anchored down probably by Atlanta itself.

According to GPS, I’m barely six miles from my office, but I still need to give myself an entire half hour in order to traverse home to work, and I don’t actually have to touch a highway either.  I’m usually below the median commute time of 28.7 minutes according to this study, but barely, and any little divot such as a fender bender or some rando school bus being late easily pushes me past it.

And to think there were varying times in my life where I had commutes of 70+ minutes and 55 miles each way, and I was living my life then, I couldn’t imagine going back to such hellacious commuting conditions ever again.

But again, I’m just going to assume most of Georgia’s ranking is weighted heavily by Atlanta since lets face it, outside of pockets of civilization in Augusta, Macon and Savannah, there ain’t shit else in Georgia that could muddy up the picture of the state, and even those pockets are merely blips of population compared to the five million-plus that live in the Metro Atlanta area.  And most are innately aware of the escalating cost of living in the Metro Atlanta area, with obviously the wages not rising commensurate to meet them, which would of course lead to a lot of unhappiness.  I’m sure this is nothing different than lots of other major cities across the nation, but based on this study, it’s very apparent in Georgia, more so than everywhere else. 

Honestly though, when I came across this article, I thought I’d have way more to say about it than I apparently do, but continuing this post any further would just be parroting things already said.  Georgia is apparently full of a bunch of unhappy people in the workforce, and although I don’t necessarily think I’m one of them, I’m definitely not really in the happy camp on a daily basis, but I don’t think a lot of these correlating conditions really help either.  I know my general sense of happiness wouldn’t mind some extra wage to help alleviate a lot of my anxieties and issues.

If Ohtani ends up on the Braves, I will shave my balls

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

One of the big narratives this baseball offseason is, where will Shohei Ohtani go???  He’s basically the best player in the game right now and an unrestricted free agent, so the sky is the limit to where he’s going to go and for how much.  For months, people have been throwing around price tags of $500M for like 15 years in order to secure him, and ordinarily every time I hear such absurd numbers, I always think, sometimes say, that no human being alive in existence is worth that kind of money, but in the case of Ohtani, if there were ever a place to begin the conversation of the value of a person, his name should probably be up there.

However, one of the more obnoxious things that I’ve been seeing in recent days, is the Atlanta Braves’ name being mentioned in the same breath as Shohei Ohtani, as if they have any modicum of a chance at being able to get their hooks into the guy that is so far above Babe Ruth as Babe Ruth was above all of the rest of us in baseball talent.  Spouting all sorts of bullshit rhetoric that Ohtani wants to play for a winner, and seeing as how the Braves have been doing well for themselves over the last few years, Atlanta should not be discounted as a possible destination.  Bullshit claims from anonymously fake sources that Ohtani is “intrigued” by the Braves.

It also doesn’t help that the Braves are currently cleaning house internally, and they just non-tendered and traded a bunch of players to clear them off the 40-man roster, but from the last reports I heard, they’re really only saving like $14M in doing such, and it’s clear that the end game really were the roster spots, with the salary savings being a minute bonus.  Many of the names were recognizable and not just some minor league fodder, but given the circumstances over the last year or two, none of these should be surprising, or seen as that much of a loss.

But make no mistake, there is no fucking chance in hell that the Braves are going to get Ohtani, and I’d be really appreciative if the conversation of such asinine speculation would just stop, because all it’s doing is making a bunch of Braves homers look like idiots in thinking that there’s any iota chance of hell that he’ll suit up for the Braves. 

This isn’t one of those lame attempts to reverse jinx and tempt the fates at trying to control the universe, and have the Braves miraculously secure him in order to make me be a man of my word and shave my balls, I just so genuinely feel strongly that there’s no chance that the Braves will get him, and I just wish people would stop even making the speculation because it just makes everyone doing so, and everyone who gets hope, look dumb.

I would legitimately feel comfortable in betting my house that it’s not going to happen, because even if Ohtani were interested in Atlanta’s strength at getting into the postseason, there’s no way the Braves would be even close to meeting his financial demands.  Ohtani is likely going to want $500M, and due to the unending escalation of player salaries, will command $500M, and the Braves are going to haggle and be all Braves-ey and ask him to drop down to $295M for 13 years, and try to sell him on the chances of World Series glory at a discount, and then Ohtani is going to be insulted and annoyed that he wasted his time even entertaining the thought of coming to Atlanta.

Then he’ll end up signing with the Dodgers or the Phillies because those are the only two teams anyone seems to want to go to anymore, and worse off, he won’t forget the disrespect from the Braves, and use it as fuel to crush Atlanta whenever they play against each other in the regular season, and then when the Braves inevitably meet up with whatever team Ohtani ends up on in the NLDS, Ohtani will throw a post-season no-hitter against them while clubbing 3 HR and driving in 8 RBI en route to an NLDS MVP* and helping with yet another NLDS exit for the Braves.

*for the record I know that there’s no such thing as an NLDS MVP award but I’m just flexing my baseball humor for the time where some pitcher on the Cardinals had a clause in his contract for a bonus for winning NLDS MVP

Plus the Braves haven’t exactly had a stellar history when it comes to accommodating Asian baseball players.  Jung Bong was basically an ace in Korea, and barely amounted to a fourth starter for the Braves.  Chien-Ming Wang, the greatest Taiwanese pitcher of all time, decided that he’d rather go play indy ball than play for the Gwinnett Braves when he was trying to return from injury.  And then there was fellow Japanese pitcher Kenshin Kawakami, who is probably texting Ohtani telling him to stay the fuck away from Atlanta, if he has his number or any means of getting in contact with him.

Instead, the Braves will bring in some 2 or 3-tier starting pitchers at economical contracts, that will be expected to overperform, bounce back, or be veteran leaders for the next wave of Mike Sorokas, Kyle Wrights, Braden Shewmakes and other promising young starting pitchers that will ultimately be unloaded for relievers later on, and even if they play well during the regular season, they’ll be too old and tired or injured by the time October rolls around.

For real though, can we all just stop with the embarrassment of speculating Ohtani to the Braves?  It’s not going to happen, and everyone who gives into hoping that it will is just setting themselves up for as much disappointment as whenever the Braves make the playoffs and people think they’ll actually get out of the NLDS.  I ain’t having anymore kids, so it’s never going to happen again, and the chances of me having to shave my balls is more than likely even less.

Clearly I am the weirdo, for valuing hygiene

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

When it comes to gym going habits, I always factor in the time I need to get dressed, take care of any bathroom needs, changing back, but most importantly, showering.  If at any point, it doesn’t seem like there’s enough time to get a shower in, I just won’t go to the gym; period, full-stop. 

I will alter my workouts and drop down from three sets of everything to two sets of everything.  And/or I will drop weight in order to ensure I’m not getting gassing and taking excessively long breaks in between lifts, all in order to make sure that I have adequate time to get my shower in, because like I just stated, if I can’t shower, then there is no workout.

Over the span of the last year, I’ve often witnessed men, and well women, who come to my little office gym to workout, and after they finish, they’re dressed back in their slave office attire and leaving within the next five minutes.  Obviously, they did not shower, which always has me scrunching up my face in varying amounts of disgust based on how sweaty and gross I think they probably are, depending on the seriousness of their workouts, which in most cases I can usually observe and evaluate while I’m doing my thing.

And I always think it’s weird and gross that people are doing this, because even if I were to hop into the gym, walk five minutes on the treadmill, do some bicep curls or some push-ups or some lat pulls, I know that I’ll have warmed up my general core to at the very least, feeling a little bit sticky and un-fresh.  I know I’d want a shower from just that amount of activity, so I couldn’t fathom doing an actual workout where my chest has started sweating because that’s the part of me that apparently starts sweating first, for your daily dose of TMI, and I don’t clean myself off.

One of my greatest fears is being the guy that smells bad, because that’s a reputation that I imagine lasts forever to those who are unfortunate to have been hampered by it.  Frankly, I don’t think I’ve ever smelled bad, but I’m also convinced that most people can’t really smell themselves, and I’m always paranoid that in times when it’s hot out and I’ve gotten some perspiration going, I am someone that smells bad and just the people I surround myself with in my life are all too polite and considerate to ever say anything to me, or perhaps I really don’t smell bad, and I’d like to keep it that way, and the best way to ensure that kind of silence remains is to keep myself fucking clean, by virtue of taking showers, especially after working out.

Plus, I just love the feeling of being all clean and fresh after a nice shower, and I’m baffled that so many other people don’t enjoy it enough to want to alter their exercise habits to ensure that they can clean themselves up too.

I asked my friends in one of our collective group chats on I were being weird by being so grossed out by people who didn’t shower, and no matter how many times I’ve brought up the topic, the answers haven’t really changed much mostly because 80% of the people in my group have muted the chat because those of us who are active are often too fucking active and they’re tired of checking in and seeing 87 new messages about inane topics like humans that smell bad.  But a lot of them are seemingly okay with it, or defending or giving excuses for people who don’t shower after working out, and it doesn’t gross me out any less, as much as it makes me think that people need to prioritize their lives better to where they should probably concern themselves with their hygiene more than they do.

Take for example, there’s one dude, who is actually on my floor, who doesn’t work out in the gym, but he goes on long nature hikes on the paths that surround my building, but he comes back sweatier than a wildebeest, and he tracks in all sorts of mud and debris into the locker room.  And then, he doesn’t shower, ever, and just gets back into his default skin, probably takes a damp towel to himself and considers himself fine to go back to the office, and I’m disgusted by him every time I see him, especially after noon, because I know where he’s been and I’m sure he’s probably a guy who smells, but I don’t want to find out to confirm.

But more recently, and what spawned this revisiting of this topic is that just the other day, an extremely high-up guy in my company came into the gym to workout.  And I’m talking about like, not the CEO of the company, but like the #2 or #3 guy in the company, someone who is on the highest floor of our building.  He’s recognizable because he’s the guy who leads off the vast majority of corporate communications and is undeniably the highest positioned guy in the company on premises, because the CEO of the company, despite adding a fourth day of mandatory in-office a week, lives in fucking Florida in a grand display of hypocrisy.

Anyway, super high-up executive guy, he’s actually in pretty good shape for his age.  White girls might even consider him a silver fox.  Does some time on the rower, does some hindu squats, spends an adequate time on several machines, working out all over the body.  Has what would be considered a pretty full workout in the process.

He vanishes into the locker room, and I’m thinking to myself, does this guy, a major high-up executive for this $2B company on the rise, come out in five minutes, or does enough time pass to where I can believe he’s taken a shower because he had a pretty decent workout?

Of course, he emerges in five minutes, in his default skin for white guys, cornflower blue oxford shirt and khakis, and it’s evident that this guy who probably makes three times what I do and is the highest position in the building, did not shower.

Obviously, going back to the title of this post, clearly, I am the fucking weirdo, because I value hygiene and cleanliness moar than the rest of the slovenly sweat hogs that I work with.  And upon further reflection, I realize that there are probably fewer people than I have fingers on a single hand that I have seen who actually shower after their workouts.  And at this point, I suppose I really can close the book on the topic, and stop asking myself and all my friends on if I’m being weird for judging people who don’t shower after working out, because it’s pretty evident that so many in the world are completely at ease with being gross and stinky in situations where they can control whether or not they can refresh themselves.

Jimbo Fisher: The Bobby Bonilla of College Football

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

When I first heard the rumblings that Texas A&M was planning to axe Jimbo Fisher, I didn’t think much of it.  Just that it must really suck to be Jimbo Fisher and having to hear through the grapevine that your termination was basically coming, and that you just have to sit there waiting for the shoe to drop.  Even more so than the fact that at the time, Texas A&M, while not having a great season, were still 6-4, bowl eligible and in the grand spectrum of the sport, at least more than likely going to have yet another winning season.

Frankly, I’m surprised that Texas A&M is doing such, because Jimbo, in spite of not having won a National Championship for the school, is still a rare breed of good coach, who has been to the top of the mountain before, when he won a natty with Florida State, and for all intents and purposes knows what he’s doing.  The interesting thing is that ATM* hasn’t exactly been a cellar dweller under Jimbo Fisher, which is usually one of the first pre-requisites for firing a coach; under Jimbo, ATM has gone 45-25, and won 9, 8, 9, 8 games before a five-win season a year ago, and as it stands right now, the Aggies probably will finish with seven this year.  But two unsatisfactory years is basically bad luck, injuries, a miss on a recruit or two, but really nothing a fairly successful football program like ATM should worry about.

*what I like to call Texas A&M because their logo’s letter order is literally, “ATM” and it’s also a metaphor to the cash cow that college football is

What it really boils down to is the fact that ATM has higher expectations than much of the rest of CFB, and are tired of hanging out in the middle of the pack and want to make a change for the sake of making change.  The thing is, there’s a vastly higher chance that ATM is going to go through some really dismal years over the next few, possibly miss some bowls (and the payouts that come with participation), and probably would have been better off in terms of wins and losses if they stuck with Jimbo.

But the bigger story is the fact that in firing Jimbo Fisher, ATM is still on the hook for around $77 million dollars of contracted salary, and despite the fact that he won’t be driving the reigns for the program, are very much responsible for paying every single cent.  Unsurprisingly, this is the highest payout in CFB history, and if there’s one thing that never seems to change with my interests, is stories about sports having too much fucking money and doing a whole lot of dumb shit with it.

Long story short, from what I’ve seen, it appears that ATM is taking a page out of MLB and going on an installment plan in order to help spread out the money they owe Jimbo, instead of just plunking down $77M, slapping him on the ass and bidding him adieu.  So until 2031, it looks like ATM will be paying $7.27M every single year to not be coaching ATM.  He gets a lump sum of $19.4 immediately for some reason, I don’t care to know the granular details, but basically starting in 2024 and over the next eight years, he’ll be getting a cool $7.27M for doing absolutely nothing,

This is of course, a similar situation to Bobby Bonilla, the baseball player whose agent somehow transformed $5.9M into nearly $30M, spread out over 25 years, except the fact that it doesn’t appear that Jimbo’s agent negotiated any variables for inflation or interest.  But who’s to say that within the next eight years, ATM gets sick of how much cash they’re literally throwing away, and renegotiate something that does encroach more similarly to Bobby Bo territory, but that’ll be another post for if it ever occurs.

But given the sheer dollar amount and the breakdown of daily intake, Jimbo Fisher is not only the Bobby Bonilla of CFB, he’s actually making out way bigger than Bobby Bonilla ever did.  $77M is greater than $30M, and whereas Bobby Bo is basically making $3k a day for existing, Jimbo Fisher will be making roughly $28k every single day until the end of 2031, merely for existing.

Chalk this up as another reason why sports are so (ironically) great, and just how much needless money is dumped into these industries to where programs can literally set millions and millions of dollars on fire and suffer absolutely no consequences in the process.  Whereas I couldn’t have given any lesser number of shits about Texas A&M in the past, just due to this failure of a scenario, I kind of feel like I need to root against them, and whomever is Jimbo’s successor, just so I can imagine a guy I gave no turds about in the past, laughing in front of a television while the Aggies get rolled around in the basement of the SEC for years to come.

Dad Brog (#123): I hate daylight savings so much

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Whomever came up with the idea of daylight savings is an asshole. Google says the concept was originally credited to Benjamin Franklin, but the modern concept is “credited to George Hudson, an entomologist from New Zealand, who in 1895 ‘proposed a two-hour time shift so he’d have more after-work hours of sunshine to go bug hunting in the summer,’”

My knee-jerk reaction is to say that neither of these guys probably had any children, but to avoid being too reactionary, it turns out George Hudson had a daughter, and Ben Franklin had several kids, legitimate or not, it’s irrelevant to this discussion.  But Hudson existed around in the late 1800s where his wife was probably the one who had to do all of the parenting while this dork played with bugs all day and extra-day and into the night. 

And Ben Franklin had fucking slaves, who probably did all of the parenting for him, so it’s probably a safe bet that neither of these cocksuckers had to deal with the backlash that comes with fucking with clocks and messing up the routines of young children.

Today, my kids were up at like 6:20 am, and I had no milk ready for them, no breakfast ready for them, and we had company whom I didn’t properly brief on the morning routine, so my kids were either pissed and screaming about the lack of food waiting for them, and/or running amok around the house because everything was awry as a result of daylight fucking savings.

People who try to defend it because of a single extra hour of sleep, obviously have no children, or kids that are grown past the age where they’re on strict circadian rhythms.  Parents of my circumstances don’t get an extra hour of sleep and in fact probably lose a net of like 4-5 hours over the span of the next week as toddlers’ rhythms adjust to the dumbass rule, and come March when we lose the fucking hour back, we’re all fucked all over again, but ironically thinking about it, losing the hour probably is the one time in which parents are benefitting from their kids snoozing past their routines for a little bit in most cases but that’s not the point, which is daylight savings fucking blows.

In the few minutes of reprieve that came when getting some food on plates in front of the kids, I shot a quick text to my friends’ group chat, and stated that I would vote for the orange guy in charge if he swore he would get rid of daylight savings.  Because it’s such an archaic, bullshit mandate that modern civilization is still beholden to, and I’m baffled at why that is.

So some shithead in New Zealand wanted to chase bugs for an extra hour or two every day, why the fuck does this asshole get to dictate how the rest of the entire fucking planet should be conducting time?  So some farmers have to do some work in the dark, big fucking whoop, chalk it up to seasonal changes, and adjust according to the calendar, I can adjust to my fucking potatoes or corn being at a higher price point at certain times of the year if it means I don’t have to deal with the fucking that changing clocks entails.

The point is, daylight savings is fucking stupid, and I hate it so much.  Even before kids, I wasn’t really that keen on it, because by the time we’re all talking about how it’s happening, I’m already dreading the Saturday in March when we lose it, and knowing that I’m going to wake up on a Sunday morning feeling like a small hangover, worse if I actually were in a situation where I could end up with an actual one on top.  But now that I have kids, daylight savings is a fucking nightmare, and I feel like if I’m ever in a position to where I could visit the graves of Benjamin Franklin or the NZ bug dork, I’d piss all over them just to express my disdain for their stupid concept.

Never underestimate the Braves’ ability to Barves

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Unsurprising: MLB Commissioner Rob Manfred already considering tweaking new playoff format, primarily reseeding the field prior to the divisional series rounds in response to all of the top teams getting bounced

It really comes as no shock that this is happening, considering the fact that the 100+ win Braves, Dodgers and Orioles all flamed out in spectacularly unspectacular fashion in the divisional round, and when the day is over, baseball is still a business and as satisfying as it may be to a sports purist that the #5 seed Rangers and #6 seed Diamondbacks play for the World Series, it is not really best for business that the teams with the best records in the game aren’t.

Frankly, I don’t think there needs to be any tweaking to the current format.  I do like that there are two more teams allowed in the field, because I don’t really know why it’s falling on its face so hard in baseball when just about every other sport that runs tournaments loves Cinderella stories of underdog teams overcoming the odds and climbing the mountain.

It’s aberrational that all three of the teams that won 100+ games all were bounced in the divisional series, but the fact of the matter is that all of them got dropped like Demon vs. Sting because their opponents all found the Pit Fighter power pill and got hot at the precise right moment, and rode that momentum all the way to paydirt.  And that’s just it when it comes to any sort of playoff format in any sport, prior records be damned, the most dangerous team in the field are the one(s) who get hot and ride the flames, regardless of whom their opponents might be.

In fact, I don’t want MLB to change the current format and do reseeding, because it’s never, ever going to change the fact that the Braves will always turn into the Barves once the NLDS starts, and in year like this one, it would just have put the Braves into a position for greater embarrassment, because they would have been dropped by the 84-win Diamondbacks instead of the 90-win Phillies, and short of being underdogs in future seasons, this is going to be the case until the end of time because I ain’t having any more kids and will be able to bless them with baby luck anymore.

If there should be any tweaks to the playoff format, it should be that the lower seeds are the ones whom should be given byes, seeing as how the only seemingly absolute trend in baseball is that teams that “enjoy” the “advantage” of being able to rest a few extra days, all get cold and soft and then get bounced by the lower seed teams who have had some time to warm up and get battle-tested.

Like, it seems absolutely asinine that the Braves, Dodgers and Orioles should have to play more games, but in a sport as sometimes bonkers as baseball, it probably would’ve guaranteed that we would’ve had an Eastbound & Down World Series against Atlanta and Baltimore.  They’d all be riding waves of momentum from the regular season, the Braves would’ve stomped the Diamondbacks, the Dodgers would have eaten the Marlins, the O’s would have trounced the Blue Jays, and then they would’ve gone into the division series where the #3 and #4 seeds would have had to have waited, and then the Braves would’ve for sure annihilated the Phillies instead, while the Dodgers would’ve made quick work of the Brewers and the O’s would’ve dropped the Rays.

Until MLB realizes that byes aren’t really as good in baseball as they are in other sports, the playoff systems they trot out, will all be problematic.  Except for the Braves, because no matter what kind of format they run, when the playoffs begin, absolutely nothing short of me having kids, seems capable of preventing them from becoming the Barves once they postseason begins.

Every now and then, China gets it right

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

America could use these: China employs a suction-cup device that sticks to cars that implements fines for poor parking, and increases the fine based on how long it takes to pay the fine, fully aware of the societal embarrassment to violators

As the subject says, every now and then, China does manage to get it right.  In this case, they actually created something somewhat original in concept, and is something that I think more places than just China would benefit from.

Obviously, there’s no shortage of shit drivers all over America whom on purpose, or just their insufficient skill levels, park in manners that leave it up for debate on evolution, and whether or not these shit parkers’ genetic lines have all of the same makeup that of those who actually know how to park a car correctly.

So I’d be over the moon at the thought of devices like this being employed in America, and am a little bit envious that China seems to have these first, with the hopes that they would actively deter people from parking like unskilled invalids, or those who park terribly on purpose because they think their Nissan Maxima was manufactured by Bugatti and need to take up four parking spaces.

There’s a lot of gray area on these devices, mainly how they are retrieved once a violator has paid their fine, or what the next steps are if a person is not deterred through public shaming and accepts the fact that they’re to drive around with this big ass digital barnacle on their vehicle until the end of time, but just my knee-jerk reaction of these things is resoundingly positive.

The source video appears to already be gone, and I don’t want to hunt and search for anything from Chinese internets, but if the thumbnails are any indication, and the device is slapped on for merely having the tires overlapping the boundary line by just a few centimeters, it appears that China’s expectations for parking ability are quite, Asian in the sense that it doesn’t seem like it requires a lot of infraction to warrant getting one of these slapped on your ride.

All the same, the intent is to make people better drivers in general, and I wouldn’t even say that I’d be impervious to getting one of these, because I’m no stranger for looking for imbalanced parking spaces that give me a slight advantage of space wherever I can, and at one of my old jobs, I used to always park way over the line, to maximize the distance of an adjacent car’s ability to park next to me, but it was far away, so I didn’t think I was inconveniencing anyone.

But I love the logic behind this from the Chinese, because it’s undoubtedly a cash-grab of a device, but also, it’s a device of public shaming, because it’s not like a boot that immobilizes a car, but it’s instead a boot that you can drive around with, and everyone can see that you’re a shit parker.  And it’s insinuated that Chinese and other Asian cultures seem more susceptible to embarrassment than other countries (America) and that this idea might not work as well in other countries (America) as they might in a place like China.

But I’ll be damned if I wouldn’t want to see it piloted here anyway.  I’d love to see Chinese meter maids trolloping around a place like Atlantic Station or the West Paces Ferry shopping center where the worst parkers on the planet all parked like the wild west, in order to minimize how much they had to walk to Starbucks or Willy’s.  Every Mercedes, Kia Optima or BMW that parks like a douche gets one of these giant suction cup yellow discs slapped onto their door, and is stuck with them until they’re paid.  Every Dodge RAM mobile-insurrection chariot that is oblivious to just how much their cab is sticking out or over the lines gets one of these slapped on their door.

They might not be as embarrassed as the Chinese might be to have one of these one, but they’d definitely be pissed that something as ugly and unsightly would be stuck to their rides, and if they not going to outright just try and remove them illegally, it might just actually succeed at making some terrible drivers, slightly more conscientious of their decision-making when they’re behind the wheel.

As much as I love to clown on the Chinese as much as anyone of Korean descent does, gotta give credit where it’s due; they had a great idea with these things, and I can only fantasize about things like these being deployed in ‘Murica.