Tag: kids

Dad Brog (#127): Purging and inevitability

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Over the last few weeks, be it because of needing to clean for hosting, needing to clean just to free up space, or needing to clean because sometimes I come home and want to blow my brains out because it feels like my house is a sneeze away from becoming a subject on an episode of Hoarders, my house has been doing some purging. 

Mostly baby related things that we’re long past needing anymore, and although there’s a tremendous amount of relief whenever we manage to unload a piece of furniture, or a large item, or a box full of clothes, toys or other kid-related things that have long since been outgrown, upon reflection, it’s still bittersweet and inevitable that it would not go unnoticed by me that things that were once mainstays of when our kids were babies and infants, are now no longer part of the home, symbolic of the passage of time and that my kids are growing up.

In the past, I would just drop all these types of stuff off at the local Goodwill, get a donation receipt, and claim as much as possible for tax purposes, but as I’ve learned over the last few years, unless I donated like, my entire home, donations hardly have any effect, if any effect at all on one’s tax refunds, so my thinking lately has been, if I’m getting rid of stuff, I’d prefer them to go to people whom might actually need them for their intended purposes, and not end up getting thrown out by a charitable corporation.

However in spite of the altruistic intentions, fewer things is as maddeningly frustrating than the process of trying to give shit away.  I mean, the stuff is absolutely free with zero strings attached, but it also works against the givers, because of the zero money involved in the transactions, receivers also feel no real obligation to come receive, and the flake percentage is higher than Shaq’s chances at missing a free throw.

But that’s beside the point, the point of this post is that in all the purging we’ve been doing, I recognize the fact that we’re getting rid of some pretty substantial thing in my home’s history over the last 3+ years at this point, with two notable things that are at the forefront of my mind when reflecting over this recent purge. 

Since #1 was born, we had a bottle sterilizer that lived on the kitchen counter for over three years at this point.  When we had a second kid, we actually came upon a second one, courtesy of the manufacturer, sent to mythical wife when she was making videos on YouTube.  But having two kids raised on breast milk, we needed these sterilizers a lot, multiple times a day at the heyday of having a newborn and an infant at the same time.

And they lived on the counter, 24/7 for years.  Eventually we got rid of one, and I was glad to give it to a colleague who was having her first kid ever, because I know how great I loved having the sterilizer early on, to ensure that my kid’s bottles were as clean as could be, but the thing is, they were always there.

No matter how disastrous the residents of my home clutter up the counter and make me want to jump off a cliff sometimes, whenever it is eventually cleaned up, the sterilizer stayed.  Everything worked around the position of the sterilizer and at least once a day, it was running, cleaning bottles and other sterilizer-friendly kid bowls or cups or utensils.  It was a mainstay of the home.

Well, it’s gone now.  Mythical wife has gotten on yet another Great British Baking Show kick again and this time, it’s manifested into actual desire to bake, and when she gets on a kick, she goes full retard and now we’ve got a brand new Kitchen Aid jesus mixer that everyone who bakes loses their shit over, and being the less sentimental between the two of us, she didn’t hesitate to jettison the sterilizer from the counter, seeing as how the kids are using cups that really need to be sterilized, especially since they’re drinking regular cow’s milk from them, long past the days of breast milk.

And the counter still looks weird to me sometimes, not seeing the giant white box underneath the cupboard anymore.  But we didn’t need it, and it was off to the charity pile for it, and it was picked up by someone that allegedly had a five month old, and hopefully they’ll get great use out of it as my household did.

And next we have the high chair(s).  Despite the fact that my kids could still very well use them, they, and really I mean #1, but then #2 has to do everything that her big sister does, has gotten into that stage in her life where she’s clearly three going on 18, and refuses to sit in high chairs and boosters, and will lose her shit at even the notion of being denigrated into sitting into a baby’s seat.

The thing is too, I eventually grew to hate the last high chair we had, because the legs were spread so far out to give it as wide as base as possible to be safer from tipping over than any other high chair, but it actually took up more surface area than it appeared to, and when it was used regularly, not a day went by where someone didn’t trip over the ultra-wide standing legs because it didn’t look like it was that space-consuming.  I fucking hated when I was the victim of it, and when the kids spurned the high chairs in general, it sat in a corner where it could do the least bit of tripping.

Well, it’s gone now.  Along with our old transitioning high chair/booster seat, because my kids refuse to use that one too.  And just like that, my breakfast nook has gone from having boosters and high chairs displacing the normal chair(s) against the wall or absconded by mythical wife into her office that already has multiple chairs in it already, we’ve got a table with four ordinary, regular, grown human being sized chairs.

And unsurprisingly, I got some feelings about it.  Nothing I won’t get over after I post this but it’s still a little bittersweet to see some pretty mainstay things in the house for raising my kids being given the boot, but at least with these specific things, they’ve all been successfully unloaded to other parents and people whom I hope manages to get continued good use and a successful second life, raising kids as they did my own.

Because my kids were born so closely together, it wasn’t difficult to treat the last few years like one really long and continuous birth and raising, because there was a good bit of overlap when both girls needed the same stuff, and I could stop and look at my life and just see myself with two babies.  But now that they’re both basically thinking they’re full-ass grown adults now, but most importantly, out of diapers, it’s been time to say goodbye to a lot of baby stuff now, and time to be me and reflect and reminisce on it.  I’m satisfied with every inch of surface area we can liberate in my home, and frankly it’s harder to give shit away than it’s hard to say goodbye to a lot of baby stuff.  But as much as I do use dad brogs to complain about how hard my life is and how over I get parenting sometimes, it’s times like these that are reminders that time is most definitely passing, my kids are growing further and further away from the babies they once were, and if I keep blinking to brog and bitch, I’m going to miss everything on the way to sitting down with them to guide them through their first job applications because oh yeah, my kids will be working.

Dad Brog (#126): When will the holidays be enjoyable again?

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

This morning, I was awoken a few minutes before my alarm went off, because #1 had already begun to stir and babble and indicate that she was awake.  My alarm went off three minutes later at 7 am because I get up at 7 am every single day of my life regardless of if it’s a weekend or holiday so that I can hope to get some stuff done and have breakfast ready for the kids for when I inevitably get them from their respective rooms.

I got off of the couch because my in-laws were visiting and mythical wife and I forfeited our bed because we no longer have a guest room because we have an au pair, and I trudged into the kitchen to begin the morning routine.  It didn’t last long, because #1 began screaming and crying out for dada to come get her, and it was getting louder and louder, and typically I try to no-sell it and hope she calms back down, but it was evident that that wasn’t going to happen this morning.  And before her screaming would wake up the rest of the state of Georgia, I went up to get her early, regardless of the fact that I hadn’t gotten anything prepared for the morning.

Turns out she had completely soaked the bed, and most likely from a combination of shame and embarrassment, she was furious, despite the fact that I did not get mad or upset with her and explained calmly that everything was okay and that we would fix it.  She wailed like a banshee and had a nuclear meltdown, while I stripped the sheets and got her changed and brought her downstairs.  I love my kids, but trying to do anything with them around is at least three times harder than it should be, and putting away yesterday’s dishes and trying to prepare breakfast for them is no exception.

After getting #1 situated and eating, I went up to get #2, and thankfully this morning she was the chill kid, and didn’t fuss and fight at all which was a huge relief.  She sat down and began eating and for two seconds, things were quiet with them eating breakfast.  But that didn’t last long, because the rest of the house started waking up, and other human beings are automatically distracting to them, and before I know, breakfast is abandoned, and they’re running amok, primarily fucking with the Christmas tree and some of the decorations we had just set up the night prior after Thanksgiving dinner part two.

To cut to the chase and cut down on redundant words and stories about how hard my life is in my parental circumstances, that was basically the story of the day, playing a fuck ton of defense throughout the house as #2 was being a little shit all day long just trying to get into things, fuck with the Christmas tree and being a defiant dick, throwing and knocking over anything she could get her hands on, and #1 being an uber-clingy barnacle to me the entire day, demanding my attention or having a meltdown if she wasn’t getting it.

Mythical wife and I declared that today was arguably, the hardest day we had as parents as we’d ever had, as in ever, and we both agreed that as much as we love the kids, this was one of those days where we just could not wait to put them down to bed for the evening.  I often think it’s cliché for people to crack open a cold alcoholic beverage after a trying day, but today definitely encapsulated the circumstances for it to sound like the greatest idea in the world, and not five minutes after I came downstairs after putting #1 to bed, it was straight to the fridge to pull out a Schofferhofer, one of the weak-ass fruit witbiers that I still actually enjoy drinking at home, when I feel like having something with a little booze in it.

As nihilistic and pessimistic as it might sound, this was just another year of holidays that I just can’t really get into and didn’t really look forward to, because this stage of parenting is just so overwhelmingly difficult on a daily basis, that I don’t really much like getting out of the routine, even for holidays in which we’re expected to be happy and thankful for things, because it just means a whole lot of extra work of preparing my home, hosting people, and a whole lot of gray area of childcare and eyes on the girls, resulting in mostly me feeling like I’m the only one who is mindful of the kids and being the primary person chasing after them and keeping watch over them, all while I have other responsibilities and expectations to do as well, because trying to do anything with kids around is automatically eight times harder than it should be, but I still have to do them anyway, hell or high water.

And I can’t help but think about holidays in the past prior to having kids, because they were all just so simple and full of space to have the capacity to think about things like traveling instead of hosting, contemplating Black Friday shopping, and actually having the money to do both, and I love my kids and family until the day I die, but there’s no denying just how different, simple and mindless life was prior to the rigors of raising kids.

Lots of parents of children far older than my own often like to say how things get easier as they age, which makes sense, but god damn there are times in which I can’t wait for those days to become reality in my life, because days like this I find myself cursing in private at how much I’m so sick of parenting sometimes, and wanting to scream and break shit over the aggravation of my kids can be when they both feel like being little asshole shits, and I feel bad for doing such, but I’m already always living in a state of high RPM stress on the regular, and I just wonder when things will actually calm down to where I don’t have to feel like this and dread holidays and can eventually get back to enjoying them again someday.

Dad Brog (#125): a great idea to help reduce spreading sickness

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

I was driving home from the pediatrician with #1 having a meltdown, which was a continuation of the meltdown from the process of getting ready to go to the pediatrician just 45 minutes prior, and unsurprisingly, I was feeling pretty sour.  Both my kids are currently sick going into the Thanksgiving holiday, and once again I’m imagining nuclear shits for the parents of the kids that got my kids sick, and annoyed with everyone who tries to tell me that that’s just the way things are and I shouldn’t get so worked up over it.

Today was a follow-up appointment from two days ago, since #1’s sickness seemed a little worse, and she had to not only go on meds obviously, but this time, we were sent home with a nebulizer, because it was that much worse than the ordinary cold this time around.  Thankfully it wasn’t COVID or RSV, but it’s still unknown to why she’s got a wheeze in her chest that kept her from getting much sleep the night prior. 

Either way, I was a bit furrowed in the brow when I was told that it was another $35 copay for the follow-up, but obviously American healthcare is basically the worst ATM in existence, but we were literally there for five minutes in the exam room.  #1’s weight was taken, blood pressure and oxygen levels measured.  A stethoscope to the chest for 90 seconds, and then we were done and out the door; but a follow-up in a week was requested, which means that’ll be another $35 copay for probably another five minutes to tell us that things are continuing on the mend.

So I’m driving home, and I’m thinking how great it would be if the parents who sent the kids who got my kids sick and started this whole debacle would have to be on the hook for the ~$140 in doctor visits and meds that I’ve shelled out, and then it brought me joy imagining if that really were something that were possible: accurate responsibility of spreading families to be held accountable for the expenditures of the families of people they got sick.

I’m sure that would change American attitudes about going into work sick, sending sick kids into schools, and wearing masks in public when things aren’t fully healthy.  Like a parent sends Little Jimmy into school, knowing they’ve got a cough and snotty nose.  And then 10 days later, they get an invoice in the mail saying they’re on the hook for a co-pay and meds for Little Sally, who’s in Little Jimmy’s class and sits next to them in the classroom.  Or Karen goes to Target while she is hacking and sneezing but doesn’t mask.  And then a week later, thanks to facial recognition, they’re identified and sent an invoice for the medical expenses of the rando that was in the aisle with them looking for OTC medication that now has the flu.

Obviously, none of this is really possible due to incubation periods of viruses and the extreme big brother-ing necessary to pinpoint transmission possibilities, but if it were, and people were to be held accountable for their poor decision when it comes to dealing with the sicknesses of themselves or their offspring, I’m sure people would be way quicker to pull the trigger in using that sick time or keeping their kids at home to reduce the possibility of transmission, and society as a whole benefits from the reduction of spreading of nuisance illnesses.

But wouldn’t I feel some consolation satisfaction at knowing that the deadbeat parents that sent their sick kid to school who got my kid sick and brought the plague into my household, had to pay my medical bills.  The thought of it, even as impossible as it may be, would bring me great joy, if it were.

Dad Brog (#124): Should I be concerned??

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

I walked into #1’s room after her quiet time and was immediately met with the sight of Naoru and Kaoru AKA The Wrestling Cats, basically hanging off of the dresser.  My immediate reaction was that of amusement, but at the same time, I’m wondering if I should be concerned, because the first thing that came to mind was the comparison to the hanging corpses that are all over the various mansions in Castlevania II: Simon’s Quest.

Of course it’s just a child playing with her stuffies, but lately, #1 has really been into ribbons, string, tying knots and such.  I don’t really know where she’s getting it from, it doesn’t seem to be on the agenda at what they’re teaching in school, but for whatever reason, she’s been fascinated with fiddling with loose threads and ribbons and always tying them into knots or together, and in her quiet time, she’s been experimenting with decorating the lamp post or hanging things off the bed rail, and in this case, draped around the necks of her favorite stuffies and suspending them off of the dresser.

Really though, I just wanted to make the comparison to the visual of what I saw and accurate comparison reference to Castlevania II as what immediately came to mind when I saw it.  Perhaps my kid isn’t the one I should be concerned about if hanging corpses from a game from the 80’s is the first thing that I thought about.

Dad Brog (#123): I hate daylight savings so much

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Whomever came up with the idea of daylight savings is an asshole. Google says the concept was originally credited to Benjamin Franklin, but the modern concept is “credited to George Hudson, an entomologist from New Zealand, who in 1895 ‘proposed a two-hour time shift so he’d have more after-work hours of sunshine to go bug hunting in the summer,’”

My knee-jerk reaction is to say that neither of these guys probably had any children, but to avoid being too reactionary, it turns out George Hudson had a daughter, and Ben Franklin had several kids, legitimate or not, it’s irrelevant to this discussion.  But Hudson existed around in the late 1800s where his wife was probably the one who had to do all of the parenting while this dork played with bugs all day and extra-day and into the night. 

And Ben Franklin had fucking slaves, who probably did all of the parenting for him, so it’s probably a safe bet that neither of these cocksuckers had to deal with the backlash that comes with fucking with clocks and messing up the routines of young children.

Today, my kids were up at like 6:20 am, and I had no milk ready for them, no breakfast ready for them, and we had company whom I didn’t properly brief on the morning routine, so my kids were either pissed and screaming about the lack of food waiting for them, and/or running amok around the house because everything was awry as a result of daylight fucking savings.

People who try to defend it because of a single extra hour of sleep, obviously have no children, or kids that are grown past the age where they’re on strict circadian rhythms.  Parents of my circumstances don’t get an extra hour of sleep and in fact probably lose a net of like 4-5 hours over the span of the next week as toddlers’ rhythms adjust to the dumbass rule, and come March when we lose the fucking hour back, we’re all fucked all over again, but ironically thinking about it, losing the hour probably is the one time in which parents are benefitting from their kids snoozing past their routines for a little bit in most cases but that’s not the point, which is daylight savings fucking blows.

In the few minutes of reprieve that came when getting some food on plates in front of the kids, I shot a quick text to my friends’ group chat, and stated that I would vote for the orange guy in charge if he swore he would get rid of daylight savings.  Because it’s such an archaic, bullshit mandate that modern civilization is still beholden to, and I’m baffled at why that is.

So some shithead in New Zealand wanted to chase bugs for an extra hour or two every day, why the fuck does this asshole get to dictate how the rest of the entire fucking planet should be conducting time?  So some farmers have to do some work in the dark, big fucking whoop, chalk it up to seasonal changes, and adjust according to the calendar, I can adjust to my fucking potatoes or corn being at a higher price point at certain times of the year if it means I don’t have to deal with the fucking that changing clocks entails.

The point is, daylight savings is fucking stupid, and I hate it so much.  Even before kids, I wasn’t really that keen on it, because by the time we’re all talking about how it’s happening, I’m already dreading the Saturday in March when we lose it, and knowing that I’m going to wake up on a Sunday morning feeling like a small hangover, worse if I actually were in a situation where I could end up with an actual one on top.  But now that I have kids, daylight savings is a fucking nightmare, and I feel like if I’m ever in a position to where I could visit the graves of Benjamin Franklin or the NZ bug dork, I’d piss all over them just to express my disdain for their stupid concept.

Dad Brog (#122): the endlessly scary world we live in

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

I got an email from my kids’ preschool, stating that due to current events happening in Israel, the school would be taking measures to increase the presence of security on site.  You see, my children attend a preschool at a Jewish temple, not because we have any modicum of interest in religion, but solely based on the fact that it’s a well-rated preschool with a proven track record of taking fantastic care of children.

Sure enough, the next time I had the opportunity to drop the girls off myself, there were extra security vehicles in the parking lot, and although I knew this was coming, it still pained me to the heart to see the entire temple feel the need for increased security due to happenings halfway across the planet.

Don’t get me wrong, I know Jews have had perhaps the rawest deal in human history.  I’ve been doing a little side project which basically entails reading up on the events and happenings of every single date, and I’m not kidding when I can say that sparingly, does a day go by, where at some point in history, I don’t come across an event there weren’t a number of Jewish people who were killed, primarily just for the fact that they were Jewish.  And I’m not talking about just World War II, all throughout history, basically since the Judaism was invented, at some point in time on every single day, Jews have been persecuted and/or killed just for being Jewish.

But back to my tiny little world here, it’s absolutely mortifying to think that there would be people so radicalized, so hateful or so just plain misguided, that they’d take action against a freaking preschool, full of children ranging from ages 1-5.  A bunch of kids who are all yet still so pure and innocent and don’t even understand that horrific things are happening in Israel.  Not that anyone is deserving of being attacked with the intention to kill, especially these kids should not be targeted and I’m not just saying it because my kids are also students there.  They’re all just kids, and it takes a real sick fuck to go after them.

It’s just really, really scary to think that my kids’ school even feels the need to shore up their security, and I don’t blame them at all.  It wasn’t even a year ago where another Jewish temple not that far from where I am, had bigots demonstrating right outside their property, brandishing actual Nazi swastikas, with absolutely no fear of doing so without needing to protect their identities.  I know the Jewish community has had it bad historically, and I don’t question one bit when they feel the need to beef up.

I don’t follow the news because my plate is always so full without the feeling of needing to be up-to-date in current events, not to mention that the news is always just so god damn depressing as it is, that I don’t want to hear of such shit in my life, so I’m actually quite uneducated on the specifics on what’s happening out in Israel.  But from what bits and pieces I hear from my friends’ groups chatter, it doesn’t really seem more of anything outside the ordinary from how Jews have had it historically, which is, always a sad thing to hear.  And it’s absolutely frightening to think that it’s why my kids’ school thousands of miles and a continent away, still feels concerned about their safety.  😞

Dad Brog (#121): When we do what our parents did

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

#2 is sick and honestly in perspective it hasn’t been nearly as terrible as it’s been in the years past with the girls getting sick all the time.  Perhaps the world has kind of caught up to the backlog of colds, flus and other gross ailments and bugs.  Perhaps my kids’ immune systems have grown stronger from the onslaughts of colds, flus and other gross ailments and bugs over their short existences.  Maybe both.

Back to the point though, my youngest is sick right now, and it’s never easy on the soul as a parent when your kid is struggling through fever, discomfort and a body in revolt.  Nothing wants to be kept down, but she needs to stay hydrated, but consuming anything too fast results in it coming back up, so it’s a delicate game of trying to feed slow and steady so she doesn’t starve, but not too much lest it all comes back up and defeats the purpose.

Feed a cold, starve a fever, is what I always remember hearing.  I sure as heck didn’t really feel like eating when I was ailing just days prior.

Regardless, I felt it was probably best to keep any foods simple and stay away from the dairy and yogurts that my kids tend to eat when things are normal, but the options weren’t that many at my house which hasn’t yet fully reset and restocked since we returned from vacation.

That being said, given the circumstances of #2’s condition, I decided to take a page out of my mom’s book and take a stab at making jook (죽) which is basically a porridge made out of rice, or as lesser Asians know it as congee.  It was something my mom often made for me when I was a kid and suffering from keeping anything complex down, and I had memories of just how soothing it could be when you weren’t feeling well.

It also didn’t help-actually helped that I woke up at 5:30 this morning for no real reason, so I had an adequate amount of time to simmer and render down the rice and liquid before the kids woke up, and make a halfway passable 죽.  The real question mark was going to be, would my kids like it?  They’re at a finicky eating stage in life currently, but they do like it when I make fried rice, so there’s a chance that they might like rice in a different presentation, right??

Fortunately, after some morning snuggles, an explanation that the following recipe is something that halmoni (grandma) made for me when I was a kid, and I was going to make it for her, #2 actually ended up liking the 죽, much to my joyful satisfaction.  I mean, it’s basically mushy rice in a porridge consistency, and it takes to the same flavors as any ordinary rice.  So with a drop or two of soy sauce to give it some flavor, it has the same taste, but also goes down really smooth and is easy to digest, and I’m hoping that the pot of the 죽 I made can last another day or two and by then I hope she’s all better.

Unsurprisingly, #1 saw what her sister was eating and was curious, and turns out that she thought it was pretty good as well.  Great knowledge to have for when inevitably she gets sick too, that both my kids like the same stuff that I liked when I was a kid, and it does make me happy to do something like my mom did for me, for my own kids when they’re sick.