Welp, it’s been a while

Ordinary news: massive accident on I-285 shuts down the entire interstate for 10 hours.  Brog news: tractor trailer involved in the crash was carrying beer

As the subject line reads, it’s been a while since I came across a story about a truck crash on Georgia’s highways.  Obviously I live under a rock and don’t really keep my eyes peeled for these, and in all fairness, it was mythical wife who came across it, and it didn’t really pique my interest until the mention about the part where the tractor trailer that was involved in this whole fracas, was carrying beer.

Not that it really matters anymore, because I’m long past the days of where I had intrinsically remembered every type of consumable that had spilled onto Georgia highways, but still, it’s always a tickle to go back in time a little bit to find some inspiration to write on account of booze spilling all over the roads.

The thing is, where this crash occurred, at Ashford-Dunwoody on I-285, this is probably one of the most infamous exits in the state.  Not only is the specific spot a logistical disaster nightmare zone, because it’s close to where GA-400 intersects and that’s a state route that will never seemingly get its shit together or never not be tampered with at any given point in time, for whatever reason, shit just keeps happening here.  Most notably, a few years ago, it’s where an armored truck carrying like $385,000 or some large sum of cash, the doors just popped open and people were basically getting out of their cars in the middle of traffic to try and snatch as much cash as they could, regardless of how illegal it was to do so.

The details of this entire thing are what was the most compelling thing about it, regardless of the presence of beer.  The fire apparently raged so hot, that it created all sorts of structural concerns of the asphalt as well as the integrity of the bridge that it occurred under.  Obviously, it hasn’t been that long since Atlanta was the laughing stock of the country again, for the whole I-85 bridge collapse, and I’m sure GADOT was having flashback and PTSD about the risk of something like that happening again, so they clearly erred on the side of caution when they shut down the highway to assess the damage, lest the bridge over I-285 collapsed, taking out a pretty substantial surface street vein.

All things considered, it was no Japan fixing a lake-sized sinkhole in 7 days impressive, but the fact that GADOT was actually able to get I-285 up and running again in 7 hours is still substantial and for ‘Murican standards, pretty impressive.

There’s lots of easy jokes about this 5K

I got this targeted ad for a local 5K run, because apparently one of the things I’m susceptible to clicking are virtual runs that offer medals for completion.  But from what I understand it’s a 5K run that takes place on one of the runways of Atlanta’s Hartsfield-Latoya Jackson Intergalactic Wing Emporium and Nail Salon Airport, which is actually really cool if you think about it; running 3.1 miles on an actual airport runway, without having to fear heavily armed security chasing you and then gunning you down for federal trespassing.

However, there’s an extremely easy, low-hanging series of jokes about this run, seeing as how it’s taking place at Atlanta’s airport, which claims to be “the busiest” airport in the world as if that’s something to really brag about, but is also one of “the most criticized” airports in the world as well, with everyone thinking they’re a comedian when it comes to clowning on ol’ ATL.

Like for example, how no runner should expect to actually start the run on time, but the clock will obviously keep ticking, so this would be the run where the very opposite of a PR would occur, and most runners would undoubtedly be horrendously late when it comes to crossing the finish line.

Critical sections of the runway will obviously be under construction, because when it comes to ATL, there’s never no construction anywhere, and it’s always in the worst possible places, and in spite of being the size of the entire place, the flow of people traffic will be packed like sardines and make everyone miserable.

There will be one portable toilet for every 200 runners, to simulate the rest of the airport where no matter what time of the day you’re there, there’s always a line for the restroom, with it being longer commensurate to how badly you have to go to the bathroom.

And so on and so on, when it comes to the litany of memes that exist when it comes to the topic of Atlanta airport.

But all things considered, I really am interested in this race.  There’s a zero percent chance I’d actually do the live event, because even though it would be cool to run on a runway, ain’t no fucking way I’m trucking down to the airport and not actually going somewhere, because I don’t go anywhere anymore because kids, and it’s going to be a long time before I get to doing any in-person runs.

That being said, I am leaning heavily towards doing the virtual event, because there is a medal for doing this, and I feel like there’s a lot of jokes to be had if I could get a medal with the ATL airport logo on it.  It would be pretty awesome if the corresponding shirt leaned into the jokes, and it really was like Latoya Jackson Intergalactic Space Emporium, but that’s a pipe dream, but it’s alright because all I really care about are medals anyway.

Kind of one of the worst days ever in a long time

[transcribed on my phone while I was laying awake in a sweltering house at 3 in the morning]

  • Couldn’t really work due to all sorts of conflicting appointments to do
  • Work team building function sucked up even more time in which I would have preferred to have gotten some actual work done than swing golf clubs when I don’t golf
  • Had to rush pack and head to the airport to which of course there was hellacious traffic because Atlanta
  • Atlanta’s airport logistics are never the same each time you visit and my risk of missing my flights due to being unable to check bags increase with every passing minute
  • Successfully getting our baggage checked was probably the only good part of the day
  • The plane ride from hell where #1 pissed herself during the taxi time in which nobody can access restrooms and then 30 minutes later, shit herself, requiring me to change her out of soiled clothes and into a spare outfit in the confines of a tiny airplane lavatory
  • Also #2 was a squirmy handful the entire flight because she was bored, hungry and past her bedtime and I’m pondering how much I hate air traveling with an infant and a toddler and never want to do it again
  • My dad’s house turned out to have turned into a house of horrors with no working refrigerator, no hot water from certain outlets and worse off, no working air conditioning. It was literally 84F upstairs, resulting in numerous people to sleep in the dungeon of my old basement to have any chance at staying sane

I went to bed after a cold shower feeling dejected, embarrassed and miserable at the circumstances of my surroundings and that I had to subject other people to them, much less my wife, kids and mother-in-law.  Need to figure out how to salvage the rest of this trip’s lodging situation even if it means relocating to a hotel or my mom’s place.

Oh, Georgia #354

/stevecarrellwinceface.gif – Cobb County elementary school unveils new logos, immediately likened to Nazi symbolism, results predictable

Seeing as how mythical wife is an educator, I’ve become more familiar and cognizant of many schools in the Metro Atlanta area by osmosis, and I actually know of this particular school in question.  East Side Elementary is right off of GA-120 which is a pretty major thoroughfare, and I pass by it regularly, despite not knowing what the name of said school was until I read about where it was located.

But man, talk about a major, major, major fuck-up from this rebranding.  Whatever designer(s) they utilized to come up with this inflammatory design really needs to be scrutinized from a character standpoint, because either they’re some deep-repressed bigots, bigots that think they can pull the wool over the public, trolls who thought it would be a real gas to sneak in Nazi symbolism, or a little bit of all of the above.  However, seeing as how it was still government work, it can probably be safely assumed that the degree of creativity wasn’t particularly high.

When mythical wife showed me these logos, I immediately recognized the red flag, because when I was a wee lad, I played a lot of Wolfenstein on my 486, because it was about the only game it could handle, and Nazi eagles were all over the place.  Imagine my mortified and amused surprise to see something so close to Nazi symbolism, being used to represent an elementary school.

The best part about the trio of logos that they moved forward with, the only element that remained consistent between them all, was the Nazi eagle in the middle of it.  Complete with a monogram that replaces one of the S’s in SS with an E, to suddenly stand for East Side.  Like they were very insistent that of all the elements to be concrete, it had to be the Nazi eagle.  Font, shape, dynamic, all flexible, but nah dog, we GOT to keep that Nazi eagle intact.

To add insult to this embarrassingly ironic design faux pas is the fact that East Side elementary is literally next door to a synagogue.  Like very literally; not down the street literally, or catty corner literally; the school parking lot, if you go straight out of it, you will run right into a synagogue literally. 

Furthermore, this is about one of the whitest parts of East Cobb there is, and that’s saying something considering just how white East Cobb already is.  The neighborhood has “country club” in the name and is flanked by a golf course, and I’ve driven through and picked up cheap/free shit that rich white people were peddling on Facebook marketplace, so I’ve seen first-hand how elevated white it is compared to the rest of the town.

None of it helps feed the narrative of a lily-white community being so dense and ignorant as to not notice their neighborhood elementary school adopting Nazi imagery to be a part of their logo.  In the end, I don’t think the school or community is really that Nazi, so much as the person(s) who developed these logos, probably have some explaining to do.  But what’s done is done, and the internet never forgets, so it’ll be etched in stone that there was a school in Cobb County that was almost branded with Nazi eagles.  hashtagGeorgia hashtag’Murica

Oh, Atlanta #577

It’s been a while since I’ve done one of these but obviously, it’s the same old song and dance that I just don’t have the time.  Honestly I feel like if I ever wanted to do one of these every day, I’m sure I could find a story absurd enough to warrant a post.  But there are days like today where the story came to me for a change of pace, and upon seeing it, I knew it was inevitable that I had to write about it:

Deadly shooting occurs at a Subway; over too much mayonnaise being put on a sandwich.  I really can’t make this shit up, even if I tried.  But to expound on the unfortunate situation, basically a Subway employee put too much mayo on a customer’s sandwich, they became irate, and then words began being exchanged, and the next thing you know, they’re opening fire into the restaurant and killing the employee.  The manager on duty promptly returns fire because of course they’re packing too, and the whole thing ends with the shooter arrested, an employee dead, with the employee’s sister who also worked there, also shot and in critical condition.

Also, the 5-year old kid of one of the women struck was there and watched their mom get shot.

Typically, these kinds of posts are dripping in sarcasm and are more of a you’ve got to be kidding me in an ironically judgmental funny way, and I’ll be honest that this is how I felt when I started writing about it.  But honestly, it’s nothing really funny about it is as much as it’s just fucked up and sad that there are people out there that genuinely felt that the best course of action to resolve the dissatisfaction at getting too much mayo on their fucking Subway sandwich is to pull out a gun and start shooting like Yosemite Sam.

I know this particular Subway, and where it is, and it is very much not in a particularly good part of town.  It’s riding a line where everything east of it is touched by the magic gentrification fairy, and are in a period of where there are people hoping to cash in on rising property values and get paid, but on the west side of the thoroughfare is basically still the Jurassic Park of ghettos.  So it’s not really any surprise that this kind of incident happened at this part of town, but it’s still tragic and fucked up that there’s literally a person dead over mayonnaise on a sandwich.

Guess all that’s really left for me to say is that I’m sure glad I don’t work or really have any business being in the city proper anymore, because I’d sure hate to get in the crossfire of any sort of altercation over shitty fast food.

Oh happy days abound

I never thought I’d need something so much until I heard this: Tim Hortons coming to Georgia

Welp, so much for that whole idea of getting into better shape.  Once those iced capps start flowing, it’s all downhill from there.

Seriously though, this news tickles me pink as my daughters’ wardrobes.  The best news I didn’t know even needed to come to fruition.  I love Tim Hortons, it’s no secret to anyone who’s known me for a minute or two.  Specifically their iced capps, which I’m bound to consume in ridiculous quantities whenever I’m remotely close to an area where Tim Hortons are accessible.

When I went to upstate New York, I hit up at least seven different Timmy’s.  When I visited Detroit for a day, I hit two different Timmy’s on the way out of town, one of them being inside of an Arab supermarket.  When my dad and I drove to Cleveland for baseball, I made a nearly 30 minute out-of-the-way detour to Youngstown, Ohio just because there was a Tim Hortons up there.  Every single layover in Toronto means an iced capp, and for someone who doesn’t have Tim Hortons remotely accessible on the daily, I’ve consumed more iced capps than some Canadians.

And now they’re coming to Georgia.  Reportedly 15 locations between Atlanta and Columbus, so hopefully some of those are remotely accessible to where I am now.  I can’t say I’d be optimistic about the quality of their baked goods considering the available workforce around here, but considering the iced capps will be coming out of machines and bagged concentrate, I think I still have reason to excited about the potential of being able to get iced capps down here in the near future.

Man, first it was Buc-ee’s and now Tim Hortons coming to Georgia.  Just need Wawa to miraculously crack into this state and I’ll have to tell myself to stfu when I get mad and ragey in Georgia traffic and asking myself why I still live here.

Time to opine about the gas prices

I can’t remember if it was 2008 or 2009 or some other year around then, but I do remember when Georgia was in the midst of one of their national embarrassments, when we had a major fuel crisis.  Memories of going to gas stations that had all their pumps taped up because they had no gas whatsoever.  People relying on Twitter and social media to get leads on which stations had any gas at all, and the stations that had any, would usually have people lined up like it was the 1980 fuel crisis. 

I remember one specific evening where I caught wind of one station that had gas, so I made a trek out at like 10 pm to wait in a line, and when it was my turn, learn that there was a $40 limit per vehicle, and my 13.3 gallon tank would be short about three gallons from full, but it was better than not having enough gas and being unable to go to work.

Do the math, and it was roughly $4 a gallon, in the midst of an actual crisis.

The photo above was a picture I took while I was in Midtown, so this really is the tip of the gas prices as far as Metro Atlanta is concerned.  But still, $4.69 a gallon, is pretty absurd to see, especially in Georgia, which is considered one of the “cheap” gas states in the country.  Acquaintances out in California have already shared photos of $5-6+ out in SoCal, not to mention their octane rules make their gas shittier than most other places.

Obviously, it comes off as insensitive to say that what’s going on in the Ukraine isn’t a crisis, it most certainly is, especially to the Ukrainian people and those in the country, but it’s not the same circumstances as a busted pipeline, guzzling crude into the ocean.  It’s more like much of the world is simply sick of Russia’s bullshit right now, and in the midst of violence occurring somewhere on the planet, gas prices spontaneously combust.  I know it’s a little more complicated than such a statement, but honestly, that’s really what it feels like.

The other day, it cost me $45 to fill up my wife’s car.  Just like that, I’m fairly certain that that’s the most I’ve ever spent on a tank of gas for a personal vehicle, and it’s just really depressing to think about the financial bleeding that this has on the vast majority of the people on the planet with gas-powered vehicles, and the general reliance we all have for having them.  I’m very fortunate to be in a position where I can afford to fill up my tanks, but I feel for all sorts of other walks of life where the current gas prices really do make people have to stop and think and compare apples to oranges to whether they can fill their cars or fill the stomachs of their families. 

Regardless of the circumstances, mythical wife and I have given a lot of thought of getting an EV as our next vehicle.  Conflicts being simply the availability of adequate EVs that fit our spatial needs due to the size of our famiry, and the fact that cars in general, much less EVs, are also at their highest point ever as far as prices go, so it’s not necessarily the best time to be purchasing.

I guess it can really be summed up that thanks to Russia’s bullshit, as well as all the supply chain bullshit that occurred over the last few years thanks to coronavirus, this is a good example of some really horrific global inflation going on, primarily due to the fact that the world is a shitty place full of greedy people who can never seem to have enough money to where they’re completely content on ruining lives of countless people in order to make more money than they’ll ever actually use in their lifetimes.

Back to the gas prices, it really sucks that all this shit is happening, because I’ve just begun commuting again, several days a week.  Now I’m sure the advent of remote work over the last two years is going to be revisited by many if this gas price bullshit doesn’t calm itself down eventually, but honestly, I like going into the office, because I’m more productive there, plus it’s where I can actually go to the gym and exercise again.  Frankly, I didn’t realize Russia was such a player in the global fuel supply because I always figured that that distinction really was more belonging to the Middle East, but here we are.

The scary thing is that I have yet to need to fill up, while the prices continue to escalate.  I was “fortunate” to have filled up just a few days ago where prices were climbing, but weren’t yet quite fuck you insane yet.  But quite literally, from the time that I had filled up, to when I was on my way back home and passed the same gas station, prices shot up another 30¢/gal in the span of two hours.  My last two fill-ups were “lucky” to have seen gallon prices with a leading $3, but it doesn’t seem likely that I’ll be able to avoid a leading $4 the next time I need to fill up.

A $50 fill-up for a 13 gallon tank is not something I am looking forward to, but it seems pretty inevitable.