I really think there are actual squatters living in the foreclosed home two houses down from mine. They’re often outside, to the point where they’re putting benches underneath shady trees to get reprieve from the sun, and one of them is always on his laptop outside, like he’s leeching off of someone’s WiFi. The lights are never on inside the house, and the state of the plumbing is definitely questionable. More than a few times, I have jogged by the home, with the alarm system being audible, since they run on auxiliary power. I’m not exactly sure what protocol is with this kind of situation, calling the HOA is useless since Zombieland’s HOA is about as competent as a quadriplegic track star, so I’m actually thinking about calling the cops at some point. Is that even logical?

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