So in preparation for Thanksgiving and the subsequent tradition of utilizing odd hours of the night or morning to hope to get some good deals on already overpriced luxuries, I’ve been doing a lot of sniffing around on Black Friday websites, making a list of things that I’d like to attempt to acquire. One of those things is a Keurig coffee maker, since I like coffee.
Upon looking through one well-known retailer’s circular, I couldn’t help but notice some of the pricing they claim on their regularly-priced coffee makers. As well as the “sale” price range of these “discounted” coffee makers. Special $5.99 – $2,520.00. Wait what? Two thousand five hundred twenty dollars for a coffee maker? Down from four thousand two hundred dollars? What in the fuck coffee maker costs $4,000?
If I’m paying $4,200, there better be Colombian coffee farmers harvesting those beans fresh, crushing them by hand, and making my coffee while the hot farmer’s daughter is fellating me while the luscious scent of a fresh cup of coffee is wafting through the morning air. Every day.
I can understand fabricating a slightly higher price to dupe the consumer into thinking they’re getting some kind of robbery of a steal, but there’s such a thing as a little too exaggerated for their own good.