I’m in a bad, foul mood today. I feel like writing with a little venom.
I don’t exactly remember what prompted me to think about this story, but it came into my head earlier today, and I felt like writing about it.
Koreans are notorious racists. This probably isn’t much of a surprise to anyone reading this, considering how often times I get accused of being racist, which is probably kind of true, but I also believe that everyone alive is a racist too, whether they want to admit it or not, but the more important thing, if they act detrimentally on their feelings or not. I don’t believe I do, so I think there are far worse people in the world than me, who finds amusement and ironic humor from the occasional tasteless remarks.
But so yeah, Koreans, racists. But the weird thing about Korean racism, that from what I can surmise, one of the biggest victims of Korean racism seems to be, well, other Koreans. Sure, Koreans are not immune to developing biases against other races as well, I think it’s impossible considering the stereotypical nature in which Koreans are the people that are often known to be opening convenience or liquor stores in sketchy ghetto neighborhoods populated with lots of blacks, Hispanics and gang activity. But from what I’ve seen in my life whether it’s based on personal experience or just being a witness, Koreans seem to be the least loyal to their own race than any other Asian culture in my opinion.
When I was still living with my folks in Virginia, and was having my first real bad bought of eye inflammation from too much computer screens at sleep-deprived AM hours, my mom took me to a Korean optometrist. Indignantly, and with a major attitude, he pretty much told me that I was going to go blind, and actually didn’t explore any options for medication, and sold me overpriced frames for a new pair of glasses that are not an accurate prescription. I told my mom that that guy could go fuck himself and that I’m never going to another Korean doctor in my life. I went to an optometrist that I had built some ads for at the paper I worked for, and lo and behold, I wasn’t going blind, I just had some bad inflammation, and here, this prescription will ease it down. Figure that.
This experience opened my eyes (no pun intended) to the fact that Koreans were very apt to taking advantage of other Koreans, deliberately taking for granted that lots of first and second-generation Koreans who immigrated to the States would be willing to trust Korean professionals for no other reason than to avoid the big and scary language barrier. And then they would do shit like price gauge, provide faulty service, and other despicable bullshit to turn the screws to their fellow Koreans. At first, my parents called me paranoid and ungrateful and disgraceful, but a year later, my dad asked me to make an appointment for him at my ‘Merican-run optometrist.
The sad thing is that as bad as Koreans mistreat other Koreans, there’s actually a demographic that gets it worse – Half-Koreans. Halfies, hybrids, mixies. Those born from one Korean parent, and another parent of a different race, whether it’s black, white, Hispanic, or another Asian culture. Half-Koreans get it worse than anyone else from other Koreans, and this is where Koreans are the world’s biggest hypocrites in the world.
Which really saddens me, because as a white-washed twinkie that I’ve been claimed to be labeled as that doesn’t really get along great with other Koreans, I’d imagine that my future offspring has a very good chance of being a halfie somewhere down the line. And the thing is, I think half-Koreans; half-Asians in general, are often times really beautiful human beings, from an aesthetic point of view.
After the Pittsburgh Steelers won a Super Bowl after a massive championship drought, there were numerous stories about the Super Bowl MVP, Hines Ward, and his mixed lineage. Despite the fact that the entire Korean race was lauding Ward as this national Korean hero, neither Ward or his Korean mother were buying into any of the bullshit hypocrisy being showered down on them. Ward recalled stories of his childhood as he was shunned and berated by other, full-blooded Korean kids, because he was half black. He would be called nigger and other horrible things, but when his Korean church had athletic teams, Ward would emerge as the star athlete for sports. And then Ward would recall stories of how he would essentially single-handedly win games and honors for his Korean teams with everyone being really happy, when it came time to celebrate, they didn’t want any part of Hines Ward being included in the festivities.
The best part was when the naturally distraught Hines Ward brought this all to light to his Korean mother, she was the one who basically taught him the invaluable lesson that Koreans are full of shit, and to not associate with them anymore. Ultimately, the two of them obviously took free trips to Korea, where they were given hero’s welcomes, honors and luxuries, but neither of them were the least bit fooled by the transparent front-running nature of the Koreans who likely possibly couldn’t give a shit less about Hines Ward until he became a champion.
Hines Ward’s story is an unfortunate one, known on a national level, but for some reason, the thought sparked this whole acid-tongued brog post comes from a personal story from my childhood.
When I was really little, as in like somewhere between Kindergarten and maybe the second grade, I remember that my family was this religiously confused family that couldn’t really figure out what we were doing on Sundays. My dad’s side of the family was all raised Catholic, but my mom’s side was pretty much all Presbyterians. And with all my aunts being overbearing, there was a too-long period of time where I remember my family making the drive from Harrisonburg to NOVA on a weekly basis to go to fucking Korean Presbyterian church.
Anyway, I recall an instance where I think it was a retreat of some sort, or mostly a children-only kind of excursion, where a whole bunch of Korean kids were sent off to spend a day at some park. I remember not having any friends amongst all these kids, because I was already pretty much an outsider, being a church commuter, who didn’t see these other kids regularly, nor go to Sunday School with them. My cousins, whom I guess our families assumed were going to be the gateway into the other kids all ran off to clique away with their existing friends. So I spent a lot of this time by myself, even back in those days, not really too different to how it is today.
Amongst all these children was a little girl, that I recall being even younger than I was. Probably like a pre-schooler, or a Kindergartener, which meant that I had to have been in like the first or second grade. I want to say that her name was Jessica, but the thing was that she was half-Korean. Half-Korean, and half-white. But I remember the sheer amount of grief that the other kids would give her. And it’s not like passive aggressive grief of nobody talking to her or anything, this was straight up physical bullying. Whereas I was just simply ignored, Jessica was getting harassed, and for no real reason, either.
The most vivid memory was probably also the worst, which is when she wanted to get on the merry-go-round, and pretty much all of the kids already on it, making a point of preventing her from getting on. Although they succeeded at allowing her to actually get aboard it, I recall the visual of at one point little Jessica hanging on to one of the bars, having her feet being drug in the dirt as the other kids wouldn’t let her on. At one point, Jessica finally fell off and hit the dirt; thankfully it wasn’t that hard, but the damage was finally done. It was at this point that the final straw broke, and little Jessica started to cry. And all the other Koreans kids actually began laughing at her. Finally, someone came to address a crying child, but it’s hard to imagine that so much bullying went ignored. Church functions like this always relied on simply older kids to keep an eye on the younger ones, and not necessarily people who have any experience in managing or corralling kids. Jessica apparently moved on as the day went on, but mostly by playing by herself, and closer to older kid supervision.
I don’t know what triggered this memory, but I could probably chalk this up as one of those memories that served to have fed into the distrust towards other Koreans that I harbor even to this day. Not to say that I don’t trust all Koreans, as I’ve made a few Korean friends, kind of like me in that they’re weird, they’re white-washed, or at least not so sheep-like in that they associate exclusively with other Koreans for no other reason than just race. I like a lot of these people.
What’s ironic is that some of my cousins have married non-Koreans, and popped out some mixed kids of their own. Although they’re treated with the love and care that comes unconditionally within a family unit, during the last few family functions that I can actually recall, I can’t help but wonder how they’re seen in the eyes of other Koreans that are not related to them.
If it’s anything like little Jessica from the 80s, all the way to Hines Ward in 2006, then probably disdain, disgust, and an eagerness to avoid association. That is, unless they somehow become famous.
