I had a conversation with the one guy at the gym I actually speak with occasionally, about the current state of ACC football, namely the Coastal division that we’ve both got vested interest in, as I’m a Virginia Tech fan, and he’s a Miami fan. Naturally, I had to rub in his face about how bad the Hokies decimated the Hurricanes last Saturday, but to diffuse the taunting, since he is pretty much a body double for Michael Clarke Duncan and could probably literally throw me head first into the ceiling like a dart, we got to talking about the current ACC Coastal standings.
At the time I’m writing this, the scrubs from Georgia Tech are leading the Coastal with a 5-2 division record, despite the fact that earlier in the year, they jobbed to Virginia Tech as if they were the Honky Tonk Man jobbing to the Ultimate Warrior. But division wins count more than overall wins, and they didn’t lose to fucking Duke. But speaking of Duke, they’re tied for third with Miami, both of them behind Virginia Tech. This is something notable, because we’re talking about football and not basketball, and Duke is very much alive in the bowl selection picture. And it’s Duke’s unexpected presence in the football scene this season that sparked this train of thought, and it all boils down to the fact that thanks to the ACC Coastal division, the remainder of this season has the potential to be one gigantic chaotic mess; this is typically no different in the overall college ranking systems, but the fact that several bowls can be potentially impacted by the outcomes of two weeks’ worth of games from one division in one conference is pretty interesting.
Anyway, it boils down to who in the Coastal is going to play Florida State in the ACC Championship? If it were decided now, then it’s Georgia Tech, and that wouldn’t be a fun game at all. If Virginia Tech wins their last two games, and Georgia Tech loses one, then Virginia Tech owns the tie-breaker over GT, and gets to go to Charlotte instead, for a far more enticing matchup against FSU. But it’s wholly not impossible (believe me, I’ve witnessed it happen to both) for GT and VT to both shit the bed, lose their last two games, and then get passed by Duke or Miami, which makes this weekend’s matchup between the two third-place teams that much more important, so that one can surpass the other, and at worst, own the tie-breaker over the other.
Speaking of tie-breakers, Virginia Tech has them over GT and Miami, Georgia Tech has one over Duke, Miami has one over GT, and Duke has one over Virginia Tech. It really is a clusterfuck of who really is the best team in the division, because as of right now, it’s completely up in the air, and nobody’s really going to know who makes it to Charlotte for the ACC Championship until November 30th.
But let’s get back to the elephant in the room: Duke. They shouldn’t even be in this picture, because this isn’t basketball. Fuck Duke. They’ve essentially bolstered their football programs via acquiring transfers from other, stronger football programs, probably because these kids realize that if they can get their feet into Duke, it opens up a world of doors, connections and opportunities by virtue of nothing but the Duke connection, if their football careers pan out, all while playing in a program where expectations are vastly more relaxed and they don’t have to excel so much.
But the point remains that they’re very much alive in the bowl picture, and very much have the capability to absolutely fuck everything up if they continue to defy their reputation and actually play solid football and win some games.
Like for instance, is the worst-case scenario that VT and GT both shit the bed, and Duke runs the table; that puts them at 6-2 in the division, 10-2 overall, they win the ACC Coastal, and get a trip to Charlotte to play against FSU for the ACC Championship. Duke would undoubtedly enjoy home field advantage despite playing on a neutral field by simple proximity. But honestly for me, a FSU vs. Duke ACC Championship game would pretty much be the worst thing possible, as I detest both teams. But in the interest of picking someone, I would go with the devil (no pun intended) I know, over the one I don’t; meaning FSU, just to keep the status quo of Duke not belonging in the football scene.
But then the more I think about it, where would be the fun in maintaining the status quo after all? If Duke beats FSU, then it’s massive chaos throughout the entire college football scene, and not just the ACC. Sure, it would suck to see Duke be able to hang a fucking football banner amidst their legions of basketball championship banners, but the repercussions of Duke beating FSU would be pretty entertaining to watch.
FSU would undoubtedly lose their #2 rank in the nation and be knocked out of the National Championship game. Although I’m confident that Alabama would trounce FSU like they trounce everyone else, it eliminates the “but” factor, and all risk of FSU becoming National Champions. And by virtue of the flawed bowl system, regardless of their overall rank in the BCS, winning the ACC gets Duke in the door of the Orange Bowl, which, as long as Stanford doesn’t finish the season at #2, could potentially be their opponents.
Think about it for a second; Duke wins the ACC, knocks FSU out of the National Championship picture, and then draws Stanford in a bowl game. Duke versus Stanford. Two of the whitest, preppiest, arrogant, most-reviled-by-the-middle-class schools in the country, squaring off in football. Not lacrosse, not Ultimate Frisbee, and not Quiddich. Football.
As much as I’d hate to see Duke win the ACC, I have to admit that I would be absolutely thrilled to watch a Duke vs. Stanford bowl game if it happened. Stanford would no doubt destroy Duke, as in spite of their white collar intellectual school reputation, they’re good every year at football.
The whole time I’ve been writing this, I’ve been feeling torn. In one hand, of course I want to see Duke shit the bed, and Virginia Tech win all the games, beat FSU for the ACC Championship, where they’ll inevitably shit the bed on a national stage in a bowl game. But at the same time, the sheer massive amount of chaos and collateral damage throughout the entire college bowl picture that could occur with Duke running the table would be incredible to see. Eliminate FSU, face off against Stanford, for the cost of one vaunted ACC title – is it worth it?
