My gym is awesomenot

I don’t really like to waste time at the gym.  I just want to go in, do some cardio, do some lifting, sweat like a madman, shower, freshen up, and then leave.  I’m not there to socialize, gab about fitness, coach or be coached.  If words with other people occurs, I prefer that they’re minimal and as not time consuming as possible.

In fact, the ideal day at the gym has words spoken only as a quick greeting with the guy at the front who scans my fob, and maybe a hello and see you later with the unofficial gym mayor who’s about the stature of Michael Clarke Duncan.

Anyway, on this particular day, a different employee that I didn’t really recognize was manning the front desk.  Seems inconsequential enough, but he puzzled me when he engaged me with a question:

“What are you doing today, boss?”

First, I’m surprised people still refer to strangers, or even their own peers, friends and acquaintances as shit like “boss,” or “chief,” or other stupid superfluous titles that are akin to a writer adding them to boost their word count (ironic!).

Second, I know full well what I’m doing on each day I go to the gym, but when inquired by actual words, I kind of froze.  “Mostly cardio” is what I responded with, because truth is, I was planning on getting on a stationary bicycle and continuing to pursue my goal of attempting to burn 1,000 calories in 60 minutes or less.

Anyway, when hearing the dreaded C-word, the employee quickly scoffed and said “that’s lame.

Honestly?  That kind of did offend me, as a physically active person.  Frankly, there’s more to fitness than building vanity muscles, and when the day is over, I’m 100% confident I could outlast this guy in any particular physical endurance challenge, and it’s all owed to the fact that I put a tremendous amount of effort into my cardio training.  This employee by the way, looks like a wimpier looking Brandon Routh, with arms smaller than mine; and I’ll be the first to admit that my muscles aren’t anything close to some of the Zangiefs and Abobos at my gym.

Just kidding. That’s just not my thing,” he quickly added up on seeing the likely not very amused look on my face at his remark.  I didn’t say anything else and proceeded to change out to prepare for my workout.

The best part was when wimpy Brandon Routh decided to work out himself, he saw me in the free weights.  While he was loading up his barbell for some 65 pound gorilla press, I’m in his reflection squatting 235.  I’m not above playing the numbers game, but when someone calls one of my disciplines lame, I can justify trying to shame them.

As I said to him, “mostly cardio.”  Meaning, there would be some other things I would be doing too, like lifting actual weights, as I’m sure he was expecting to be 100% of my agenda prior to inquiring what I was planning on doing.

Personally, I honestly think that there aren’t many people who work out as often or as hard as I do at my gym.  There are people who do a little cardio, people who do a little weights, but out of the regular people I see, there aren’t many that do as much of both as I do on a regular basis.

One thing’s for sure, seldom do I see anyone really sweat.  I’m not trying to gross anyone out or anything, but I sweat like someone poured a bucket of water on me sometimes.  Especially after a lengthy cardio session on the treadmill or bicycle, I sweat the fuck through shirts on a daily basis.  A little gross, possibly, but frankly it’s a tangible measure of just how much effort I’ve exerted, and I take a great deal of pride in it sometimes.

As for my eventual cardio, I achieved the goal I’ve been aspiring for.  It took 58:50, but I finally broke 1,000 in under 50 minutes.  After the full 60, I was at 1020 calories burned.  Average RPM of 98, with an average energy output of 287 watts.

It was honestly one of the more physically challenging things I feel that I’ve done, and I’m immensely proud to have finally succeeded in it.

And now my legs are shot.

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