League of Lobby, volume 6

It’s been a while since we had a League of Lobby, but I also haven’t really played nearly as much as I used to, due to the whole epidemic of “the con season,” AKA doing shit for Dragon*Con, as well as a myriad of other occurrences that have unfortunately pulled me from the Fields of Justice over the last few months. However, there was also the “problem” that simply put, there just weren’t any good verbal spars going on in the lobbies worth chronicling.

Fortunately, given the nature of LoL’s player base, it really doesn’t take more than an observation, Murphy’s Law and tempting fate by pointing out how “quiet” it’s been, for a Player X to decide to throw some jabs at Player Y, and entertainment for all who stick around to watch.

In this edition of League of Lobby, what we have here is a Player X (playing Ziggs) on the winning team (mine), deciding that it would be perfect time to gloat about their victory to Player Y (playing Karthus) on the losing team, and about how easy the entire match was.

Typically, this is a perfect recipe for Player Y to lose their shit, and fight with Player X, but in this instance, we had a very earnest and accepting Player Y, that was fully aware of how they underperformed on account of their general lack of experience with kaRRRRthus. And with this Laissez-faire attitude, they were not only able to take Player X’s punches in stride, which only served to piss them off even more, they won their slightly more well-adjusted opponents over with their candor.

Welcome to the League of Lobby!

*user names changed with discretion, mostly because I don’t want the chance of these psychotic high-schoolers googling themselves, finding my brog, and tracking me down and going Columbine on my home.

danny joined the room. (Nidalee)
SubParKarthus joined the room. (Karthus)
copthepleeb joined the room. (Blitzcrank)
Lord Xanax joined the room. (Darius)
virginia joined the room. (Poppy)
FaerieBrokenWings joined the room. (Draven)
freshTwings joined the room. (Nasus)
TripleMacchiato joined the room. (LeBlanc)
SasuketheWeeaboo joined the room. (Ziggs)
OMGPleeb joined the room. (Ahri)

SubParKarthus: ziggs
SubParKarthus: ur pretty heavy

SasuketheWeeaboo: i was playing with my feet the whole time
SasuketheWeeaboo: easy one
SubParKarthus: work on ur mechanics bb
OMGPleeb: cool story bud

freshTwings: dont be like that zigg, when u won the game by the formation
SubParKarthus: u’ll be like me
SasuketheWeeaboo: yeah i need more practice with my feets
virginia: Very tank, much Poppy

SubParKarthus: so
SubParKarthus: how does it feel
SubParKarthus: to brag at aram?
virginia: I mean, it says Victory.

SubParKarthus: when no one picks their champs?
SasuketheWeeaboo: karth u were easy kills
SasuketheWeeaboo: haha
virginia: Ahri, you were good.

SubParKarthus: lol yeah im bad at karth
virginia: A+ Ahri, would try to target again.

danny: i’m just sitting here, enjoying the show
SasuketheWeeaboo: work on ur mechanics bud
SubParKarthus: why?
SasuketheWeeaboo: easiest game of my life
OMGPleeb: what

SubParKarthus: im uninstalling
SubParKarthus: yeah
OMGPleeb: are you being sarcastic?

SubParKarthus: ziggs in aram is pretty eas
SasuketheWeeaboo: good i was getting bored it was so easy
SubParKarthus: ur might have to re-evaluate youre life
SubParKarthus: but gg 🙂
SasuketheWeeaboo: pls uninstall now
SasuketheWeeaboo: bye 😀
OMGPleeb: yo ziggs

OMGPleeb: you there?
virginia: He’s probably there.
OMGPleeb: u a ***** *** *****
OMGPleeb: hold my purse
SubParKarthus: prolly got a **** in his hands most likely
danny: http://cdn5.michaeljacksonspictures.com/wp-content/gallery/popcorn-meme/jackson-im-just-here-to-read-the-comments-02.jpg

SasuketheWeeaboo: look at the damage chart
SasuketheWeeaboo: easy peasy
SubParKarthus: yeah
SasuketheWeeaboo: get pewped on
SubParKarthus: i know
SasuketheWeeaboo: kid
SubParKarthus: the lack of skill needed is amazing
SasuketheWeeaboo: hence why i used my feet bud
SubParKarthus: i wish all i had to do was point in a straight line
SasuketheWeeaboo: karthus is easy just press r
SubParKarthus: oh yeah totally
SasuketheWeeaboo: and yet u somehow died 15 times
SasuketheWeeaboo: oh yeah cause i killed u
SubParKarthus: his range on his abilities is so big
SasuketheWeeaboo: haha
SubParKarthus: sooooo big
SasuketheWeeaboo: not really
SubParKarthus: omg
SubParKarthus: are you saying that its not big
SubParKarthus: like that its actually shorter than yours?
SubParKarthus: wow
SasuketheWeeaboo: 8-15 you obv know nothing about this game
SubParKarthus: sense talking
SubParKarthus: lmao
SubParKarthus: aram buddy
SasuketheWeeaboo: you carried my team karthus rofl
SasuketheWeeaboo: ty for feeding us
SubParKarthus: ur skills mean nothing here
SubParKarthus: yw
SubParKarthus: im bad
SasuketheWeeaboo: thank u for easy win
SubParKarthus: and a lil tipsy
SasuketheWeeaboo: we can tell
SubParKarthus: aram is easy when u have ziggs and a dps
SubParKarthus: we had no adc
SubParKarthus: sooooo
virginia: I’m Poppy, I’m helping.

SasuketheWeeaboo: dont make excuses u had blitz
SubParKarthus: think about that for a second
SubParKarthus: no dps
SubParKarthus: do u know what dps stands for?
SubParKarthus: hi poppy, ilu
SasuketheWeeaboo: do u want some cheeese for that whine
SubParKarthus: yes plz
SubParKarthus: although gin is the poison tonight
SasuketheWeeaboo: league is not ur game bud
SasuketheWeeaboo: just uninstall
SubParKarthus: haha man
SubParKarthus: is that youre only insult?
SasuketheWeeaboo: go play runescape
virginia: Karthus you keep playing buddy.

SasuketheWeeaboo: u would be better at that
virginia: Do Karthus things.

SubParKarthus: lol i dont play karthus
SasuketheWeeaboo: yeah keep playing, just be on the other team so we can feed off u
virginia: So don’t do Karthus things.

SubParKarthus: its aram
SubParKarthus: i cant choose it
danny: at least you don’t have the weeaboo anime user handle

SubParKarthus: lol
SubParKarthus: thats is true

(long pause as SasuketheWeeaboo realizes that his own teammates have turned on him)

danny: i mean sure we won
danny: but at least there’s that
SubParKarthus: do u jack off to cartoon porn ziggs?
SubParKarthus: lol nid
SasuketheWeeaboo: wow so mean
SasuketheWeeaboo: so toxic
SubParKarthus: oh, looks like i hit some truth there
SubParKarthus: its ok
danny: lol i love how that turned the tides

SasuketheWeeaboo: j 8-15 still talking
SasuketheWeeaboo: lol
SubParKarthus: sometimes peopole cant get girlfriend, or boyfriends, i dont discriminate
SasuketheWeeaboo: SO BAD
SubParKarthus: lol
SasuketheWeeaboo: LOL SO BAD QUI TLEAGUE
SasuketheWeeaboo: BADDIE
SasuketheWeeaboo: SOOO BAD
SasuketheWeeaboo: BAD
SubParKarthus: omg
SasuketheWeeaboo: TERRABAD
SubParKarthus: caps now
SubParKarthus: thats like
danny: honor for karth

danny: for fighting the good fight
SubParKarthus: a conscious change of typing
virginia: Karthus, you’re alright.

SubParKarthus: aww, shucks guys, ilu
SubParKarthus: sreiously tho, dont tell ziggs, but i kinda feel bad for making fun of his porn choice
SasuketheWeeaboo: 8-15
SasuketheWeeaboo: -50 percent kda
SasuketheWeeaboo: OP
SubParKarthus: actually ziggs
SasuketheWeeaboo: duo que with me sometime
SasuketheWeeaboo: ur so good
SubParKarthus: kda incorporates assists
SubParKarthus: which is why they track assists
SubParKarthus: or else assists would be pointless
SasuketheWeeaboo: karth ulti hits everyone
SubParKarthus: ok
SubParKarthus: yes
SasuketheWeeaboo: so u got five assist when u did five damage to everyone
SubParKarthus: congratz
SubParKarthus: u know his ult’
danny: in all fairness

SubParKarthus: not true
danny: i had a better KDA

SasuketheWeeaboo: press r, karthus easiest champ in the gae
SubParKarthus: what if i ult
danny: 3.375 vs 3.2

SubParKarthus: and no one dies?
SasuketheWeeaboo: KARTH SO EASY
SasuketheWeeaboo: EASIEST CHAMP NA
SubParKarthus: naw
SubParKarthus: i’d submit kat or yi is easiest champ
SubParKarthus: karth is pretty swuishy until ROA
danny: aight karth, imma bolt

danny: you’re alright
SubParKarthus: and i didnt built it on him until 18th minute cuz im a dumb dumb
SasuketheWeeaboo: u were just outa position allgame
SubParKarthus: lol u too nid, gg

Not to pat myself on the back too much, but the best part was easily my own contribution to the exchange, which completely tipped the scales in Karthus’ favor.

By being chill and rolling with the punches, Karthus might have lost the match, but they certainly won the more important battle – the one of wits.

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