Can’t say I have high hopes for Fuller House

TL:DR: Netflix secures rights to spin-off of Full House, aptly called Fuller House.

The nostalgia nerd in me admits that I watched way more Full House than I really should admit to.  I mean seriously, I’ve probably seen every single episode of the show.  From DJ’s crash dieting, Uncle Jessie’s extended Greek family visiting so that both Olsen twins could be on screen at the same time, to the heart-wrenching breakup between Danny Tanner and Vicky, the woman who replaced Aunt Becky on Wake Up! San Francisco, I’m pretty sure I’ve actually seen them all.

Now the thought of making a spin-off of Full House, by basically taking the existing show characters, in current time, and basically reenacting the entire show all over again with some clever role modifications, sounds like a recipe for disaster.

Seriously, the idea of rekindling a piece of my childhood isn’t terrible, but let’s be real here; the show is slated to be anchored by DJ Tanner, Stephanie Tanner, and of all people, Kimmy Gibbler.  Furthermore, none of the actresses have really done a single thing since the Full House days, and Stephanie was addicted to methamphetamines at one point to boot.  It’s clear that they’re probably going to reimagine the roles of Danny, Uncle Jesse and Kimmy being Joey “Cut-It-Out” Gladstone, but it’s going to be difficult to garner the same kind of results.

Mostly because of the fact that John Stamos was a one-man carrying machine of the original series, as Uncle Jesse.  There’s absolutely no way in hell that Jodie Sweetin is going to be able to handle that kind of pressure of trying to be the replacement to Uncle Jesse.  Uncle Jesse was the total package; he had great hair, impersonated Elvis, had two bands, jammed with the Beach Boys, and was the only bastion of coolness in the entire Tanner home.  What the hell is Stephanie Tanner going to do?  Say “How rude!” when DJ’s sons ignore her because they’re busy trolling Xbox Live?

Ironically, given the way both Stamos and Lori Laughlin (Aunt Becky) have aged (rather not aged at all) so gracefully, it wouldn’t be the worst idea in the world for Netflix to throw money at both of them, bring them back as permanent cast members, and have them continue to live up in the attic of the old Tanner home, so that they could pop in periodically every episode, rescue the show, as well as being the sage, attractive older couple that imparts wisdom and parenting tips to DJ, Steph and Kimmy.

Of course, I’ll still entertain the idea of watching this when it eventually comes out, but only likely it’s got a bunch of episodes in the can, so I can shotgun it.  Then again I said the same thing about Girl Meets World, and I haven’t watched a single second of that either.

So much for rekindling that nostalgia too.  Either way, Fuller House sounds like a weak attempt at modernizing a classic; I wish it the best, and I’ll hope that there are tasteful cameos by Danny Tanner and Joey Gladstone, but I’m not going to hold my breath for any explosive success.

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