When “owned” just doesn’t cut it

To add insult to injury: Jurors who recently awarded a $115 million dollar verdict in favor of Hulk Hogan have declared an additional $25 million dollars owed to the Hulkster in punitive damages, bringing the total of money owed to Hogan for posting his sex tape to a whopping $140 million dollars.

I ran out of words to express how delighted I was to have seen Hulk Hogan take down Gawker in court three days ago. Yet it’s becoming the gift that keeps on giving, as Gawker is deservedly kicked while already down, for another $25 million dollars thanks to their reckless “journalism” and arrogant believe they were invincible behind First Amendment rights.

Owned” simply isn’t a sufficient term to describe just how dominating of a comeuppance beatdown Gawker was just given by Hulkamania. I want to force phrases like “Hulk hOwgan’d” or some shit, but know there’s no chance in hell it would stick. Unless another marquee lawsuit springs up featuring a fairly prominent figure versus a smarmy hack journalism outlet where the plaintiff succeeds, and people start using Hulk Hogan-ing as a verb to describe defeating crooked journalists, that is.

But it goes without saying I’m enjoying the aftermath of what I figured was going to be a fairly minimal punitive hearing.

The $115 million awarded to Hogan “exceeds the value of the entire company by $30 million,”

And that doesn’t even include the additional $25 million in punitive damages. Better yet however, was the breakdown of the $25 million that’s owed to Hogan:

The six jurors said that Gawker was liable for $15 million in punitive damages and Denton was liable for $10 million. Daulerio was found liable for an additional $100,000.

That alone doesn’t read as that substantial, but it’s nice to see some accountability being slapped onto Nick Denton, the founder of Gawker for employing such hack jobs to write such reckless and volatile garbage. But really, the best part about that snippet to me, is the $100,000 charged to former Editor-in-Chief, A.J. Daulerio. At first blush, it looks like he’s getting away with merely a slap on the wrist, but then there’s this laughable mention:

Daulerio has no assets, but owes $27,000 in student loans.

So in other words, in spite of the snark, the arrogance, and the façade of being someone influential and important, behind the screen, he’s basically a loser who’s in the same boat as the vast majority of the readership he imagined himself socially superior to. The next time Daulerio’s finances are brought up, hopefully it’ll read that not only does he owe $27,000 in student loans, but additionally owes $100,000 to Hulk Hogan.

Let’s be real here though, Gawker doesn’t have $140 million, and Daulerio doesn’t even have five bucks to his name anymore, so the likelihood of Hogan actually receiving close to this amount seems like a pipe dream. I’m sure he needs the money on account of his ex-wife trying to usurp everything she can from him, not to mention his son Nick is probably in Mexican prison or something for trying to reenact Fast & Furious drug running or something, but if I’m a betting man, I bet Gawker strategically declares bankruptcy or something to absolve much of their debt, and Hogan will ultimately get short-changed what he’s owed. Daulerio, too, probably.

Doesn’t matter, though. Honestly to me, it’s not so much about the actual money as much as it is about the message sent; sure, this is going to reshape the ideals and opinions of what First Amendment rights are and aren’t, but I just like to say that you don’t fuck with Hulkamania.

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