REVA (Reír en voz alta (laugh out loud)): Gawker sold to Univision for $135 million dollars as a result of getting destroyed by Hulk Hogan
lol, Univision. The entity best known for its Spanish-language television and ridiculously hot Hispanic weather girls on their news broadcasts. They’re the ones buying Gawker, a husk of an internet rag once known for shitty, mostly plagiarized content with no regard for people.
It’s like a match made in a South American hell, full of piss, tequila, corn tortillas and coatis. This is mixing Wilfred with a Danny Trejo film.
And all because Gawker just had to fuck with Hulk Hogan. Wrestling might be known to be “fake,” but there’s nothing fake about the power of retribution and good triumphing over evil that Hulkamania embodies. The Iron Sheik, Andre the Giant, Randy Savage, Earthquake, Sgt. Slaughter, Ric Flair and even Vince McMahon. There is nothing in the world that overpower Hulkamania; much less a sleazy internet shit-rag like Gawker.
I mean, there’s really no point in re-hashing the story for like the fiftieth time on the brog that six people read and can’t even see currently. But the fact that just whenever I think the story is dead and cooling, shit like Univision purchasing the remains of Gawker happen, and the dust is kicked up all over again.
And every time Gawker’s dead carcass is beaten again, it’s just like whenever Hulk Hogan pulled his political clout and continued to bury his fallen foes repeatedly even after the feuds were believed to have ended.
It’s like Hogan beating Sgt. Slaughter for the World championship at Wrestlemania. He goes on to win whatever rematch they have, then he beats him against on like Saturday Night Main Event, and then at SummerSlam, he tags with the Ultimate Warrior to beat Slaughter and his Middle Eastern cronies one more time. And just when we think the feud is truly over, Hogan makes a beeline for Sgt. Slaughter during the Royal Rumble, and throws him over the top rope.It’s pretty much just like that, except instead of Sgt. Slaughter, it’s Gawker, and instead of throwing them over the top rope into elimination, he’s basically throwing them into like, the Gulf of Mexico.
Everyone seems to think it’s over whenever the next level of depravity is reached by Gawker, but until the Hulkster says it’s over, it’s not going to be over. Who’s to say that Hulk Hogan doesn’t big boot the door down to Univision HQ, take all of Gawker’s physical assets and drop the big leg on them, and since dropping a leg onto an inanimate object is useless, he can then just take a piss on them and walk out of the building, while Real American blares over the PA system of a Spanish media company and drives away in his red and yellow Dodge Viper.
Then, maybe it will be over. But only Hulk Hogan will truly know.