Air Jordans for toddlers

The other day, I was at the store, and I found myself waiting in line that was moving at a snail’s pace.  After I had spent several minutes looking over the inane crap available in line that stores hope consumers will impulsively buy, I noticed the woman in front of me carrying her child.  The child couldn’t have been more than like 2-3 years old, and it was still in diapers.  And in spite of the fact that the child was at an age in which it still was not in full control over their own bowels, on its little tiny toddler feet were, Air Jordans.

Yes, the crown jewel of athletic shoes, or shit, just shoes in general these days, considering everyone and their mother seems to wear Jordans in just about any condition.  But anyway, this toddler in diapers and with a good possibility that it couldn’t walk, was wearing little toddler-sized Air Jordans, indicative by the distinctive style and the trademark Jumpman logo on it.  Naturally, my knee-jerk reaction is simply, WHY?

I think the bigger surprise in this is when I decided to look up the toddler Jordans, it turns out that they’re not $150+ like grown-up Jordans tend to be, leading to people waiting in egregious, overnight lines in order to get them, and occasionally leading to gun violence for when those who are poor but armed decide to utilize crime in order attain their own.

No, the children’s versions of Air Jordans seem to hover around $35-50 a pair, which I do find surprising, because I really wouldn’t put it past Nike to prey upon the shoe-obsessed, and actually charge $100+ for toddler’s shoes.  However, this takes into effect that children at this age grow like weeds, and there’s a very high possibility that they’ll outgrow their 4T Jordans and suddenly be back on the market for 5T Jordans, necessitating another $50 to get another pair so the kids that probably don’t even understand what cool is, can look cool, for their parents.

The point is, Air Jordans exist for toddlers, and I’m absolutely perplexed to why they do.  Obviously, it’s for the parents, so their kids can look as fake affluent as they want people to see them, but at least grown-ups can say when they get their Jordans, they’ll last a little bit longer, or at least have the capability to be kept in a closet and selectively worn throughout a very long duration of time instead of outgrowing them in like three weeks.

Regardless, there’s no denying Nike and the Air Jordan brand have made a go-zillion dollars plus since the dawn of time.  And it’s probably shrewd and silly ideas like manufacturing Air Jordans for kids who can’t even walk yet that have contributed towards the amassing of such wealth, regardless of just how stupid and unnecessary it seems, to get such designer shoes, for children who still shit their pants.

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