Mythical wife and I were playing some games online with our friends because we’re still very much immersed in pandemic ‘Murica and this is how things are done these days in order to be safe, and as we’re in between games, the topic of conversation goes towards what television shows everyone is watching. Talking about The Mandalorian and Utopia among other shows, and how some of us might like them, or if they’re not any good at all, etc.
But mythical wife and I haven’t really seen or finished any of them, because we don’t have time. Story of parenthood now.
We then start talking about video games; mythical wife and I just started playing Man of Medan, and gotten maybe three hours into the game, before we realized it was midnight which might as well have been 3 am for new parents like us, but reality sunk in that we weren’t sure when the next time we’d have a chance to play more of the game, because we just don’t have time, the perpetual story of parenthood now.
Even playing Jackbox games with friends for an evening means not having the opportunity to do another thing that we may or may not have wanted to do with what limited free time we have available to us, because as the story of being new parents go, you just don’t have much of it, because the primary meat of our time is spent raising our infant child and putting her needs first and foremost above everything else.
I do not have a single iota of regret for having a child and I love my daughter more than anything else in history, but as the objective of these new dad brogs go, is to express the realities and genuine thoughts that I have going through my own personal journey as a first-time father, and the reality is that I just don’t have a lot of time, like ever, for myself anymore, and that part is something that’s always going to be a tough pill to swallow, especially in conjunction to our lives pre-children, where we’d sometimes have nothing but time to sit around and literally do nothing at times.
Are you tired of reading new dad brogs? Do you miss when I’d write about all of the fuck-ups and/or hypocrisy regarding Atlanta, Georgia, or anywhere else in the world? Pointing out racism or ineffective uses of the race card? How much I love the Braves but hate the Braves? Expending thousands of words about professional wrestling as if I didn’t know that it was a scripted concept?
Well, dad brogs are about all I’m good for, for the time being, with anything deviating from them typically is me feeling guilty and concerned that my entire brog is going to be nothing but parenting brogs, and I really don’t want that to be the case, so I force the issue sometimes to seek out things to write about that aren’t necessarily just about being a new dad. Which in itself tends to defeat the purpose of brogging in the first place, if I’m coming from places that aren’t genuine to myself.
Writing is one of my real hobbies that I genuinely care about, and make important that I stick with, no matter the circumstances. But writing also requires time in order to do, the one thing that I’m so very in short supply of on a regular basis, which is why much to my dismay, there are sporadic spaces of dead air in my writing routine, no matter how much I’d like for that to not be the case.
But I have so little spare time in my life now that it’s hard to find opportunities to write, not to mention I have to be somewhat feeling motivated to do so, so it’s like two constantly moving vehicles trying to find the optimal times in which they intersect when it comes to having both time and motivation to actually write.
I saw this meme the other day, that was one of those “I feel attacked” ones, where it talked about how there are people who have so little time and get burned out by their jobs, they feel unmotivated to partake in their hobbies when they have time, but then become increasingly anxious and resentful the following days because they didn’t get any me-time. I have to say I felt quite relatable upon seeing that as well, and it’s kind of a depressing microcosm of just how many people must being going through it themselves, not to mention that raising a small human being just adds to it all, concurrently.
Ultimately when the day is over, I’m fairly sure I’ve written this exact same post before, but with different words, but the point is that I simply do not have a lot of personal time, and it’s occasionally frustrating, to the point where I feel like I have to write about it, when I could literally be writing about anything else. But I guess such behavior is that of the first-time father, where things just kind of seem like a blur at times, and default mechanism behavior just kind of takes over, because all of this shit sounded way better in my head than when I actually took the time to sit down and write it, but because I’m loss-averse I don’t want to waste the effort I’ve expended in putting all this bullshit down, so here we are.
I’m often sleep deprived and foggy in the head, so cut me a little slack.
