I sometimes think only I can find the negative in a really great deal

So in my last bitchy dad post, I mentioned that some really great news came my way, that I couldn’t really feel happy about because I was too busy being a bitchy dad at that moment in my life.  But to any of my zero readers who read my shit with regularity might’ve seen a post a little while back that mentioned that I was in the hunt for a new job.

Well, I succeeded.  An offer came my way, that I’m 99% certain that I’m going to accept, because it’s a higher title than where I’m at now, a fairly substantial raise from what I make, and if/when the day comes when we have to occasionally go into the office, it’s actually a closer drive than my current job, and I wouldn’t have to get on a single highway.

All things considered, it’s a win in every aspect.

So why am I writing about it as if there was some sort of questionable catch?

The thing is, there really are none.  At least from most normal standards.  The only reason I’m not completely gung-ho about the whole opportunity is that in spite of all the wins, this wasn’t my first pick in my job search.

When I embarked on my search, I took a spray-and-pray approach; meaning I applied for just about anything and everything that sounded remotely up my alley, and some things bigger stretches, occasionally.  I estimate I shot out around 90 job applications, in all. 

So despite the fact that I started the week with maybe five active job leads, I had been turned down by at least 20 screeners and ghosted by maybe twice that many.  But it’s okay, because job searching is a crapshoot anyway, and frankly the spray-and-pray method was probably for the best given my perpetual lack of time and inability to do much other than LinkedIn or Glassdoor instant apply applications. 

But anyway, the company that made an offer to me, they’re local, and kind of in the same industry and job functionality that I’m currently in.  They’re just not as high on the Fortune 500 as my current company.  It should be a fairly smooth transition, aside from learning a new brand and all their idiosyncrasies, and getting to know my new teammates.  But for the most part, I’m basically going to be doing the same general type of work.

And that’s where I’m feeling the tiny bit of melancholy, because at the root of things, I was still hoping to make more change than just companies. 

Some of my actual leads, were businesses that were more in tech and/or web fields, and the general scope of work, although wouldn’t be that dramatic of shifts in software, would’ve been different industries than where I’m at now currently.

One particular company that I had made some strides with, was a tech company that was offering up a full remote position, and they were based in the west coast.  Even though I’m pretty sure they couldn’t have matched the money in my current offer, it still would’ve been a fairly notable raise from where I’m at now, and it would’ve felt like a real win to have succeeded in landing one of these new fangled remote jobs that have cropped up during the pandemic, and there’s a superficial part of me that kind of wanted just that, because it would’ve been such a drastic change in so many ways. 

But they turned me down, basically making my only real option, this offer I’ve been given. And not at the risk of sounding ungrateful, it’s an incredible offer that I’d ordinarily be stoked to accept, I was just kind of hoping to make a bigger change in my career than this.

Maybe in the future however, because this is still a great new opportunity, and I’m sure the higher paycheck and the nicer title I can update my resume with will ease my angst in short order. 

All the same, this all results in me embarking on a departure from my current job, the longest job I’ve ever held in my career, at a hair under six full years.  Most who know me know my general unhappiness with it over the last 2-3 years, so this really was a long time coming.  

I’ve been thinking about this occasion for a long time, and fantasized about giving my notice to a boss that I’ve grown to dislike immensely, and coasting to the finish line and other things pertaining to my exit.  Like making a big farewell message, like others who have departed before me did, and preparing to online friend all sorts of soon-to-be former reports, colleagues and other workplace proximity associates that I’ve always been friendly with, but didn’t want to connect with online while we were co-workers. 

But most importantly, despite the fact that it would negatively impact all of the reports and subordinates under me, it doesn’t change the fact that I hope my departure creates somewhat of a productivity void, and kind of fucks some people up, validating my contributions and existence with the company.  Because I know all the shit I’ve done over the last six years that has been pretty notable and essential, and by having forces my hand into wanting to leave, I hope those who pushed me, suffer the worst.

God I hope they give an exit interview.

So there it is, my great news that is actually really great news that I should be happier about, but I’m just still so buried in being a dad that I can’t find the time to be such.  That’s going to be one of the scarier things, figuring out what the fuck to do about child care when I go back to work, much less switch jobs.

But one thing at a time, and hopefully making more money will help alleviate some of the issues that arise from it. 

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