Wrestlemania: suck it, Cody

I was chatting with some of my bros over the two-night extravaganza, and I explained that no matter how much my level of involvement to professional wrestling ebbs and flows and wavers throughout the passage of time, there’s always a conceited effort to watch Wrestlemania.  It always comes back during Wrestlemania, and Mania and the Royal Rumble are the two shows a year that I feel very strongly about watching live.

This year’s Wrestlemania had a pretty stacked card on paper, and I felt that the WWE had done a pretty decent job of building up a respectable card from top to bottom, and wasn’t going to be anchored solely by Roman Reigns and then everyone else.  The Rey and Dominic Mysterio feud caught fire real late, and went from a cliché match to one that had some heat behind it, and as much as I hated the relegation of Sami Zayn and Kevin Owens because of the existence of Cody Rhodes, there was still a large amount of interest with their match against the Usos, because the Usos can have great matches against anyone, much less the level of talents that are Sami and Owens.

On paper, I was actually looking forward to night 1 more than the second night, because I thought that the card was better quality than then night 2’s card.  But after both shows, I actually thought night 2 was the stronger show, and it really wasn’t even close.

I thought almost all of the matches on night 1 were underperformed by all those involved, which was a little head-scratching considering the level of talent that was on the card.  John Cena had a pretty uninspired match with Austin Theory, and was disappointing, Rey and Dominic had too many people get involved with their match which watered things down, Charlotte and Rhea had an uncharacteristically below-par match, and despite it being the best match of the night, I genuinely felt that the Sami/KO vs. Usos match could’ve been better.  They were the best by default, because most of the matches prior weren’t as good as they could’ve been.

Night 2 was heavily weighted by the Intercontinental championship match, with Gunther continuing his torrid 2023 defeating both Drew McIntyre and Sheamus in a brutal shit-kicking smack-fest everyone knew it was going to be, and despite my tendency to think that the main event matches are typically predictable and academic, the Roman Reigns and Cody Rhodes match served up the drama of genuinely not knowing who was going to win, which made it that much more exciting as it played out.

But speaking of Cody Rhodes, one of the things holding back the anticipation of the show was the almost seemingly inevitably that he was going to be the guy that was going to dethrone Roman Reigns, which as a fan irked the shit out of me, because of all the speculation that he has a world title reign baked into his contract, which is what was a big draw in being able to bring him back from AEW.

So seeing him take the L was kind of surprising to me, because I thought for sure it was going to be the night where the Roman Empire came to an end.  Not just because of Cody’s ludicrous contractual obligation to be WWE champion at some point, but Roman had been carrying the company for over 900 days at that point, and Joe Anoa’I probably was due for a long-needed vacation.

No matter though, because unlike a lot of wrestling fans out there, I was over the moon that Roman retained and the greatest championship run since Bruno Sammartino continues on.  I think I’ve made it abundantly clear that I’m just not a fan of Cody Rhodes, and I’m quite pleased to see him finally lose a match since he returned to the WWE.

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If Alexa Bliss were to leave, would it really matter?

Let me start off with that I am a fan of Alexa Bliss.  From the first time I saw her in NXT and her ascent to the main roster, I was like whoa, at this spunky little spitfire who was totally my aesthetic.  But aside from the physical appeal, I admired that she could actually go fairly well in the ring, and sell like a million bucks for everyone she worked with.  Additionally, she knew and understood how to work an audience, and she was absolutely unflappable in front of a hot crowd, which says a lot more these days considering how fickle and persnickety wrestling fans have become these days.

But in light of recent rumblings about how Alexa has seemingly lost favor with the WWE, and how it seems like there’s some sourness permeating into the relationship, culminating with the idea of her eventually departing, again I ask, would it really matter?  Would it have much of an impact on the WWE?

I don’t post this query if I didn’t feel that it probably doesn’t, but the reality is that much like all superstars past and present, one man or woman makes the company not, and in the grand spectrum of things, the loss of Alexa Bliss would barely be a blip on the radar.  Whether she’s off now due to injury, or just Creative having nothing for her, fans have mostly been used to her not being present over the last year and change, due to the fact that she was out getting married, and the world continues to turn.

If it is sour grapes in the basket right now, she couldn’t have a worse time to be vaguebooking on the internet, because since her return last year, she really hasn’t done much, which isn’t always entirely the fault of the performer, but when it comes to leverage within the company, it doesn’t help to not be seen as a major player.

Her last major program, that of being the brainwashed sidekick to Bray Wyatt, didn’t do her any favors as it almost entirely removed her from in-ring work, and into this carny, monotonous supernatural storyline that most adult viewers don’t give two shits about, and in the game of trying to figure out what wrestler will attempt to make the jump to Hollywood next, seemed like a convenient situation for Alexa to show some acting chops while not really being a wrestler anymore.

As much as I enjoyed Alexa over the years, the reality is that her in-ring work hasn’t evolved or changed over time, and it’s easy to say that it’s because she’s petite and has a ceiling of believability when it comes to being able to hang in the ring with the likes of Ronda Rousey, Rhea Ripley or Shayna Baszler, women who look like they could beat up most of the NXT roster male or female, at the drop of a hat.  She hasn’t been around as long as she has without development, but what I’m getting to is the perception that as much as Creative might be bailing on Alexa Bliss, I think Alexa Bliss has been bailing on the WWE as well.

And although character work is extremely important to survive in the business, everyone still has to be able to perform in the ring at some point.  And Alexa’s in-ring talent has stagnated, while all around her, women have been arriving, developing and evolving all around her, reducing the need for her at all. 

I once joked that Liv Morgan was like an Alexa Bliss-lite as far as being the spunky hot blonde, but the reality is that she has been working her ass off over the last few years, the fans have recognized it, and if the WWE felt that there was only room for one spunky hot blonde, Alexa would be dead in the water right now.  And maybe she already is and it only needs to be made official.

As far as the five-feet of fury moniker that Alexa used to utilize, Roxy Perez in NXT has taken that over too, as the diminutive performer is low-key channeling some AJ Lee vibes simultaneously with her ring gear, but also was trained by Booker T and has a vastly superior arsenal in comparison.

The bottom line is that Alexa Bliss really isn’t needed in the current WWE stratosphere anymore, and if there’s any beef brewing between them, I hope Alexa is prepared to accept the fact that her past accolades and reputation probably won’t give her as much ammunition to be seen as worth keeping as she might think.  I’d miss the eye candy, but in the grand spectrum of things, it probably wouldn’t be for too long.

It’s all going to be Cody’s fault

In professional sports, occasionally there are scenarios where a first-place team somehow manages to pull off a trade or pick up a free agent of a very talented player.  In most of these cases, the overarching management of these teams hardly ever take into consideration stuff like team chemistry, because most organizations believe in acquiring talent when it’s available, and let the chips fall where they may afterward.

Typically, it’s kind of a jump ball of happens afterward; sometimes the new player adds value immediately, and a good team becomes even better, but in some cases, the new player disrupts the team chemistry that made the team a first-place team, and then there is some stumbling and new struggles, as the squad tries to adjust to find its new groove.  Sometimes, they get their shit together and make magic happen, but at least in my personal viewing experiences, they still fall short.

This is what I’m feeling is kind of happening with the WWE and the fact that they’ve handcuffed themselves to the acquisition of Cody Rhodes.

For about a year, if there was anything at all that was going not just smoothly, but on a legendary pace, it was definitely the Bloodline storyline.  Roman Reigns was clearly ascending to the top of the mountain that he was always expected to reach, and he was firing on all cylinders; in the ring, cutting promos, and elevating everyone that entered his gravity.  Roman and the Bloodline were proving the power of a well-planned, executed storyline that was more importantly given all the time in the world to breathe and organically proceed.

But then Cody Rhodes’ contract with AEW expired, and suddenly the internet rumor mill basically exploded as it became apparent that he was not only not going to re-sign with the company he helped found, he was on his way back to the WWE; he was basically the surprisingly available talent that the WWE picked up solely because they could, but not necessarily because they needed him.

And much like how it happens in professional sport, every organization in the country always falls for the sunk cost fallacy, and because they paid a mint for new acquisition, they become determined to use them in a capacity relative to their salary, and not necessarily their talent or ability to fit into the puzzle.

Because Cody Rhodes cost the WWE a significant amount, he was immediately thrust into the upper echelon of the card, (re)debuting at Wrestlemania and fast tracked to a path to the World championship; regardless of the fact that there were all sorts of internal talents that were getting shafted by his return.  If not for the fact that he tore his pectoral and had to be put on the bench for almost an entire year, I probably wouldn’t have gotten to make this post because he probably would have already entangled with Roman Reigns at Summer Slam or Survivor Series and possibly have ended his legendary run and taken a championship off him.

And while he was down with injury, the Bloodline resumed their masterful storytelling, and amidst this, became planted the seed of Sami Zayn that grew into the phenomenon that’s captured the attention of wrestling fans all over with how it has played out so far.  Seriously, I didn’t think much of the whole idea of Sami Zayn wanting to be a part of the Bloodline, but it’s literally been the best storyline since the rise of Daniel Bryan or Kofi-Mania, and in fact better than those in terms of storytelling and how many people have risen their stock from just being a part of it.

But then Cody Rhodes had to go on and recover, and when it was announced that he was coming back at the Royal Rumble, it was basically a forgone conclusion that he was going to win the whole fucking thing, and obviously be fast tracked to Wrestlemania where he would fulfill his destiny (or his rumored contractual obligation to get a World championship run) and finally face Roman Reigns.

This is where I have this feeling like Cody Rhodes is going to ruin a beautiful storyline that’s been in the making over the last three years, solely because the WWE is insisting on utilizing him as World championship material based on the size of the contract he was given.

I’m not saying that Cody Rhodes won’t and can’t have a good match with Roman Reigns and possibly put up an instant classic, but it’s going to feel more forced than it is going to feel organic.  Which is a shame, because the beauty of the Bloodline saga has always been just how organic everything has felt because everything has been given time to sow seeds let things grow naturally over the last three years.

I feel like the smart play would be to have Cody lose to Roman Reigns, so that he could kind of start over and organically rise to his contention to the World championship(s), but if I’m a betting man, I don’t think that’s going to happen.  In reality, Roman and the Usos probably need some time off after carrying the company for the last three years, and even if the fans might not be sick of the Bloodline, the guys comprising of the Bloodline might be sick of the workload they’ve had and probably wouldn’t mind a little time off television to recharge.

All the same, I like to imagine a world where a lot of the WWE guys have a group text or something, where they bitch and complain about how Cody Rhodes’ return is fucking things up.  Obviously, such is likely not the case as Rhodes is often regarded as being well respected and liked by everyone in the business, but it doesn’t change the fact that his return to the WWE is causing some hierarchical restructuring to where someone is getting pushed down a rung.

It’s just kind of sad to me, because the Bloodline has easily been the best thing in professional wrestling in a long time, but Cody Rhodes of all people is the one who’s kind of fucking things up, solely because he had to become available and baited the WWE into picking him up and clearly had a lot of demands in the process.

If he were really as selfless as he likes to claim he is, he’d have let all existing storylines play themselves out and basically kind of stand aside and call next, and by next Wrestlemania in 2024, be ready to ascend to the top of the mountain then, and maybe all the fans will be on board the story he is destined to complete.

Mercedes Mone and the inevitable journey back to Sasha Banks

When the news broke that Sasha Banks and Naomi stormed out of the WWE, I thought it was all a work (read: wrestling speak for scripted).  Usually if it’s ever mentioned on the air, it is done so deliberately, but in the ever-shifting and moving machine that is the professional wrestling industry, it turned out to be something a little more real, regardless of the fact that they had acknowledged it on the air.

Long story short, the two of them walked out citing poor opportunities and just generally disagreeing with how Creative was going to be using them for the foreseeable future.  And although it was never confirmed, and probably will never be admitted, the whole thing really sounds more like it echoes the beliefs of Sasha Banks than it does Naomi. 

Naomi had been around long enough to have eaten her fair share of shit sandwiches and understand that everyone in history is going to have to deal with them on the menu from time to time, but Sasha on the other hand had already walked out once, on her own, stating a convoluted burnout excuse before, so it didn’t seem far-fetched for someone like me to think that it was happening again, but with an accomplice.

As time passed and news and the rumor mill churned, the general sentiment was that Sasha left because she didn’t think the company was taking the women’s division seriously, regardless of the evolutions and revolutions they’ve spouted throughout the last decade.  Frankly, I thought she was just salty over not being in a world title storyline, because it very much seemed like with her, she’s either in a world title picture, or she’s walked out; she hasn’t been around long enough for her history to show too contrary to this logic.

Eventually, when old man Vince stepped down and Triple H basically took over operations, there was a lot of speculation that Sasha would be back, because Trips didn’t waste much time undoing a lot of the bad for business choices that Vince had made over the last year.  But then there still was no Sasha, or Naomi for that matter. 

Eventually, news broke that Mercedes Varnado was going to be appearing at New Japan’s Wrestle Kingdom 17; confirming that there really was a separation between Sasha and the WWE.  Further news revealed that during attempts to renegotiate a return, Sasha wanted Charlotte Flair and Becky Lynch money, and the WWE was unwilling to acquiesce, and therefore Mercedes decided to take her talents elsewhere.

Here’s the thing though about the wrestling industry, especially in the WWE: this is a narrative that is hardly unique to Sasha Banks, and I think too many people are getting clouded by gender and the manner in which she ceased to be on television.  Respect and treatment of women’s wrestling aside, when it came time to come back, it fell through, due to money.  The WWE felt that Sasha Banks wasn’t worth the money she was asking for, so Sasha Banks formally left the company, and took her trade somewhere else.

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I don’t think the WWE realizes the Christmas gift they’ve just been given

SSDD – WWE superstar under fire for unpopular opinions on social media, feat. Lacey Evans

I don’t particularly care to go too in depth on what Lacey Evans said or supported on social media, I’m sure anyone interested could simply google it and find it with relative ease, but basically it has something to do with her basically being a believer in some conspiracies about how autism and ADD are fake or something of the sort, and the internet coming down on her like Hulkamania, forcing her into internet defense mode, and last I checked, she’s deactivated all her shit and gone dark, as one really should do when the heat gets a little hot.

The point of this post is though, that if there were ever one small sliver of an advantage that Lacey Evans has in her life right now, is the fact that she’s a professional wrestler, an occupation oft-seen as carny and not to be taken too seriously, and if she and interested parties play their cards right, I feel like there’s a hell of a gift to be found and cashed in upon, and Evans can be absolved of dumb doing, and the WWE can possibly make some money in the process.

Long story short, the WWE hasn’t had much luck in finding a working formula, creatively, for Lacey Evans.  And Lacey Evans, personal beliefs notwithstanding, is one of those talents that actually excels more on the physical spectrum than character work, which is kind of a rarity these days, as lots of wrestlers have realized that it’s more important to be able to entertaining versus demonstrating technical ability.

We had the, kind of Rosie the Riveter She Can Do It version of Lacey Evans when she was still in NXT, she was called up to the main roster to be the sassy southern belle, which had a little bit of success, but her personal life derailed her career just when things were getting interesting in a program with Charlotte Flair when she got pregnant and had to go off television.  But to her credit, she had a kid, got back into shape, but has been spinning wheels trying to get back on television, even trying to lean into the usual layup of All-American veteran-turned pro wrestler.

Just when things were seemingly trying to get back on course again, by pairing Evans up with the hall of fame Sgt. Slaughter, she had to get in her own way by spouting off on Twitter, which frankly social media should be avoided by all celebrities if they know what’s good for them, and the internet is all over her because her opinions are not popular, regardless of the fact that I think they’re dumb too personally.

But the thing is, as Eric Bischoff once said, controversy creates cash, and whether Lacey Evans and the WWE realize it or not, they’ve been given a tremendous gift right now, in the form of an extremely effective emotion-eliciting potential persona for Lacey Evans:

Lacey Evans: the Karen of the WWE.

Continue reading “I don’t think the WWE realizes the Christmas gift they’ve just been given”

This story jacks me up HOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Stories tailor-made for me: “Hacksaw” Jim Duggan holds home invader at gunpoint until authorities arrive

Man, y’all have no idea how much of a high this story puts me in.  As a kid, I was a fan of Hacksaw Jim Duggan and his over-the-top patriotism; the 2×4, the way he waved Old Glory with such exuberance, and the constant calling out of HOOOOOO!!  He was the ultimate babyface, and regardless of his actual win-loss track record, it was impossible to root against him.  Against Earthquake, Sgt. Slaughter, Yokozuna, Hacksaw Jim Duggan was the ultimate paragon to root for, without any of the bullshit baggage that guys like Hulk Hogan were notorious for dragging along.

As an adult, I had the privilege of meeting Hacksaw Jim Duggan at a minor league baseball game one time.  My friends and I made a trip to Frederick, Maryland primarily because Hacksaw was going to be there.  I got him to sign my replica of the WCW United States championship, and he brings wholesome balance to the fact it’s also signed by a pre-murderous Chris Benoit.  But the best part of the visit was that Hacksaw was just cool as hell, and spent more time than was necessary just chatting and hanging out with one of my friends and I who didn’t really care about the baseball game itself.

Needless to say, there’s always soft spot in my heart for Hacksaw Jim Duggan, and when I read this story about how he thwarted a home invader, it just got me all sorts of jacked up excited.

Of course a paltry home invader was going to do the job to Hacksaw Jim Duggan.  The guy is the first ever Royal Rumble winner.  A former WCW United States champion.  Former WCW Television champion.  Made wrestling fans turn on Goldberg, when they squared off.  A WWE Hall of Famer.  Defeated cancer.  Twice.

The crook clearly had to not have known the property he was trying to break into.  Or if he did, he chose very, very poorly.  All embellishing aside, Hacksaw Jim Duggan is still a relative tank of a man, and I would think twice about engaging a man of his stature, even if he were unarmed.

But speaking of arms, I really am curious to know what kind of firearm that Hacksaw whipped out to subdue the intruder.  As I said, the guy is a beast physically and I’ve shaken Hacksaw’s hand.  He’s not Andre the Giant, but he definitely has big meaty hands from a life of sports and entertainment, and I would imagine a Glock would feel pretty inadequate in his grip.  I feel like a guy like Hacksaw probably had a Magnum or a handgun with some rather large caliber rounds, because I can’t imagine a guy like him is interested in a tiny pew pew gun to protect his home.

Really though, I think I speak for all fans who’ve heard this story, we all really wish the news broke that he subdued the intruder with his 2×4.  Just smashed it over the crook who broke into his home, and then pointed it like a shotgun at the guy on the ground until the cops arrived.  Or better yet, if it was dark, he actually held the piece of wood like a shotgun claiming it was a real shotgun and kept him docile with a fake gun.

Honestly, the crook probably doesn’t realize how lucky he is to not be dead.  Hacksaw comes from an era where he’s one of the fortunate ones to have made it out alive for starters, but to be of sound mind and body to where he had the self-control to not just blow the fucking head off of an intruder in the first place.

And in true paragon Hacksaw Jim Duggan manner, he didn’t press charges, on account of the crook claiming he was running from danger.  In more ways than one, the crook was granted way more generosity and leniency than he deserved, but that’s just the kind of guy that Hacksaw was and is, in and out of the ring – a true babyface that does the good things, regardless of if the heels in the world deserve it or not.

Man, the world is so lucky to have people like Hacksaw Jim Duggan in it.

AEW got to be out of their damn mind

Much to both my chagrin and dismay, the WWE is basically out of blets that I could possibly want.  For the time being, there are no blets left for them to release, because at this point, just about every single WWE blet in history has been released at some point. 

They could start digging, and begin releasing older WCW and ECW or even AWA and territorial replicas like Jim Crockett or Smoky Mountain.  But instead, they’re making all these gaudy tribute blets as well as for some reason releasing WWE championships with side plates of SEC schools.

Hopefully when they inevitably launch NXT Europe, the inevitable blets will be baller.  Or not, I don’t need any more temptations to suck my spare money, $300-400 at a time.

Because that’s the general price range, if not lower, of what replica wrestling blets should cost.  $599 for one, or the bargain price of $999 for two AEW tag team replica blets??

As the kids these days like to say, the fuck outta here

The thing is, the tag blets are the one AEW championship I like the most.  Aesthetically, as well as fandom wise.  AEW does have outstanding tag team wrestling, and these titles hold more weight in my opinion than any other championship they have currently, and if they weren’t $600, I’d definitely want one. 

I don’t know how AEW can justify having such egregiously priced replicas in the first place, and I’m curious to know how many other blet collectors have any.  Their world title replica is around $800 and I know they released a TNT replica that was also in the $600-700 range.  If I played my cards right, I could probably get three, maybe four WWE replicas, and if I didn’t care about quality, I could probably get like 8-9 Pakistani bootlegs on eBay, including all of the AEW ones.

I know they don’t use the same blet makers as WWE or old Ring of Honor did, and use someone completely different.  I don’t know if they’re not mass producing them overseas like most other replicas not New Japan are, but the bottom line is that it’s causing AEW to have to price them way too fucking high that even the most hardcore of collectors like me don’t want to pay. 

Inevitably, I will eventually want some AEW blet(s), because it doesn’t take a whole lot to inspire me to want a blet.  I’m going to kid myself; as much as I criticize AEW, I do want them to do well, it’s just I think TK is kind of an obnoxious mark, as well as all of the vast majority of their fans.  But with the price point they’re at, it most definitely isn’t going to be any time soon.