The escalating stupidity of “house divided” paraphernalia

Down here in the college football ever-loving south, where license plates are not a mandatory thing on the front of the cars, novelty plates like the above are a pretty common thing. Especially the HOUSE DIVIDED plates that really like to drive home the notion that a couple, each member having gone to a different college, is ironically living with a collegiate arch-nemesis, based on popular rivalries.

House divided plates are pretty common down in Atlanta especially, since Atlanta is widely recognized as the unofficial center point of SEC country, and everyone seems to recognize the SEC as the undisputed dominant super power conference of college football. But regardless, at least once a day, it’s almost unavoidable to see a house divided plate in the city.

The thing is, at least in most cases it makes sense. Georgia/Alabama, Alabama/Auburn, Auburn/Florida. And then it goes inter-conference sometimes with Florida/Florida State, Florida State/Clemson, Clemson/South Carolina, etc, etc.

Frankly, as long as the rivalries seem somewhat justifiable and/or legit, I have no objection to it. If anything at all, it’s more of a positive nuance to recognize that in spite of the Romeo and Juliet perception between fans of opposing programs, when the day is over, people don’t give a flying fuck about collegiate alliances, in the name of love.

Continue reading “The escalating stupidity of “house divided” paraphernalia”

The answer is always yes

In moments of frustration, have you ever asked the types of rhetorical questions that are directed to people responsible for said frustration, regardless of if they can even hear you or not?

“Is _____ really that difficult?”
“Is your job really that difficult?”
“Is driving a car really that hard?”
“Is it really that difficult to use your turn signal?”
“Is it really that difficult to re-rack your weights?”
“Is it really that hard to wipe down that bench?”
“Is parallel parking really that hard?”
“Is parking really that difficult?”
“Is it really that hard to check your email?”
“Are you really that stupid?”
“Are you really that dense?”
“Are you really that oblivious?”

And the list goes on and on.  I ask these kinds of things often.  Sadly, it’s taken me longer than it probably takes other people to realize that in 100% of these inquiries, the answer is always yes.

So lately, whenever I reflexively blurt out these questions, or ask these things in my head, I actually have to consciously remind myself that the answer yes.

When it comes to the rhetorical questions, inquiring about the difficulty of common human behaviors, the answer is always yes.

That being said, I am apparently very good at many, many, many difficult things.

Are toys fun when they’re OP?

O·Padj. (pron. oh-pee).  Acronym for “overpowered.”  Established as video game slang; used to describe when a particular character, weapon or item is opinionated to be excessively effective, to the detriment of the claimer’s opinion, but has capabilities of being applied in uses outside of exclusively video games.

In the case of action figures, protagonists that are three times the size of their antagonists, could be classified as being OP.

I saw this commercial for these Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles action figures, and the first thought that came into mind was “are you fucking kidding me?”  Gigantic TMNT action figures to do battle with Foot Clan villains that are a third of their size?  Is that even remotely possibly fun for kids?

Continue reading “Are toys fun when they’re OP?”

Knowledge is horsepower

Conversely, that means a lack of knowledge means your car might be slower than it should be.

Long gone are the days when I used to relish in the occasional red light skirmish; trying to get to point B from the green light faster than a car in an adjacent lane.  But nowadays I’m older, I just don’t really care about it anymore, and frankly the cost of fuel is more than justifiable enough to not hit 6,000 rpm in first gear and second gear, just to prove that my car is faster than another.

But when a 3rd generation Mitsubishi Eclipse deliberately pulls up next to me with the intent of attempting to pass me on an upcoming merge point, so that they don’t have to wait behind the three cars behind me, I decided that could turn the clock back a little bit.

Continue reading “Knowledge is horsepower”