Tag: religion

Of course Korean Jesus is superior

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

As if there could possibly be any doubt.

In case you’re an infidel, this picture of a statue of Jesus Christ out of Korea emerged on the internet this week, and at least to me, it wasn’t really that much of a revelation that it was not just jacked, but more like JAKKED.

I mean really now, Korea is a great and powerful almighty nation, it’s no surprise that the Christians in the country can only worship and pray to only someone as equally, if not greater than the Korean people, so Jesus looking like he’s one blue orb away from transforming into an Altered Beast doesn’t seem at all that shocking.

It’s also a great sign of respect towards the religion. It really puts into perspective how other countries portray their inferior Jesuses, like how the vast majority of the modern world has Jesus of Nazareth looking like he’s more like Jesus of St. Louis, as in the fact that he’s very much an anglo-looking man from a country where most every male looks like Sayid from Lost. And then we have people from Mexico who really, really like their portrayals of Jesus looking like he’s been beaten to death, drug out of his tomb and beaten some more, as if they knew he was going to resurrect and the Romans tried to get the preemptive strike on his corpse.

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Tears don’t come easy for this cowboy

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

When I was in the midst of one of my low points of my latest funk, I was sitting there in my room feeling crappy and alone and helpless and that my life was shit and going nowhere, and there was a part of me the felt like perhaps some tears were necessary.  I was by myself and there would be no shame in shedding tears in front of nobody, and frankly I thought that it might be therapeutic or something like that.  So I’m sitting there, and trying to manipulate my emotions to where I’d be sad enough for the faucets to start dripping.

They didn’t.  They never came.

A long time ago, when I was like 14 or 15, I was pretty involved with my church.  Obviously it all changed when I got my driver’s license, became disenchanted with the bullshit hypocrisy of the people I went to church with, and grew tired of how superficial and petty people were in a place where acceptance was quite literally preached.

Continue reading “Tears don’t come easy for this cowboy” →

It may be God’s Property

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

But it’s still illegally parked and in the fucking way.

Saw this shit recently while I was trying to do some work.  In the midst of the slow holiday period, I volunteered to do some grunt work, to look like a good team player.  The company was going to haul some furniture in from their warehouses, delivered in one of their company trucks.  It was cold and windy outside, even in the storage bay.  But for whatever reason, God’s Property here saw it fit to illegally park, block the company truck, and deliver some shitty catering to one of the other companies in the building, while myself and several other grunt workers were forced to wait for them to emerge.

Needless to say, the time spent waiting, even the most religious of saints was cursing God’s Property for wasting all our time.

So my stigmata is acting up again

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

On my way home from the airport after an afternoon in Charlotte, North Carolina, I was getting tailgated by a BMW.  This comes as no surprise as scientifically proven, 100% of BMW drivers are douchebags.  To make matters worse, I could see in the rearview mirror that it was a black guy with a big gold watch, leaned over across the passenger seat like black guys stereotypically position themselves while driving.  Since I see absolutely no point in altering my driving stance to accommodate a douchebag, I maintain the course, and they can pass me when it’s convenient for them.  Eventually, the opportunity presents itself, and he blows past me.  His license plate reads “BLCKCZR.”  If this is trying to say “Black Czar,” which was the first thought that popped into my head, my head just exploded.  It’s like racism, hypocrisy, wrapped in more racism, encased in a douchebaggy BMW.  Incredible.

Christianity lol

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

I forgot today was “Ash on my forehead so everyone can see how pious I am” Wednesday. At least > 50% of the people wandering around with smears of ash on their faces are full of shit and are flawed human beings in their own right, I’m betting. There also has to be a small percentage of people who have smeared ash on their own heads as to appear religious, but are instead just full of shit as well. It’s funny; only when I’m working downtown do I see all these corporate douchebags and transparent tools marching around with ash on their heads so everyone can see them.

God’s car

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Apparently, God drives a Chevy Cavalier.

In other amusement brought on by automobiles, on my way home from work the other day, I was mildly irritated when everyone on the road slammed their brakes, bringing traffic to a dangerously instantaneous crawl.

It was caused by a Ford Festiva passing an overly encumbered (full of fat fucks) Lincoln Towncar. Hahahahaha.

Sundays kind of suck

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Such a common metaphor, yet I can’t really say that I’ve seen it in complete harmony in person all that frequently.  I know I’m a dirty swine for posting it, but it’s not like I get a bajillion hits from the anonymous world.

As a kid, I never really liked Sundays.  Sure, Sundays were technically a part of the weekend, but in all honesty, they’ve always had a symbolism for the ending that nobody wants.  As far as I’m concerned, the “weekend” is technically whatever hours you have after working on a Friday, and Saturday.  Sunday’s greatest luxury is the fact that, for the non-church going heathens like me, is that it is a day of sleeping in.  Otherwise, the rest of the Sunday is spent with this feeling of a clock counting down knowing that the next day is a day of work, and that if you’re responsible, you end your day and go to bed at a time accordingly.

When I was a kid, Sundays were spent inconveniently getting up earlier than I would have wanted in order to go to Catholic church, suffering through religious “learnings” and then coming home to dinner, and for some reason, I’m remembering a television medley consisting of shows such as Parker Lewis, Can’t Lose, In Living Color, America’s Funniest Home Videos, The Simpsons, and some show on Nickelodeon.  But in the back of my mind, I knew I had to go to bed early, because tomorrow, was school.

Not a whole lot has changed, really.  I slept in as much as I could, barely hitting eight hours.  But in the back of my mind, I know that I have to sleep at a reasonable time, since I have to work in the morning.  No soothing Dunkin’ Donuts coffee to take the edge off on all this early-evening fatigue, because it’s going to keep me up all night.  No zbs until 1 a.m. otherwise, I’m going to snooze four times and not have adequate time to Superman Banana before work.  And right now, I’m brogging while I’m waiting for my turn to sit down and get in the squared circle with IRS.  As it’s been the case the last few years, I’m probably going to owe money that I don’t really have right now.  But at least it’ll be out of the way nice and early, and I can sit back and smugly watch people panic and the news exacerbate how epidemic tax season is.

But really, Sundays kinda suck.  Whomever concepted the five-day, 40-hour work week needs to have their grave(s) dug up, corpse(s) desecrated, and mixed into candy that those crazy killer homicidal kids in Hostel from Bratislava would eat.  In a much more adequate world, the weekends would be Saturday and Sunday, completely free and open, and Mondays allowing for reasonable sleeping in, and working “whatever you can do is fine.”