Best dream ever

Huzzard and I are at an arcade, playing on a broken NBA Jam machine.  Along comes former NBA player/great white hope Bryant Reeves and some unknown person, and they challenge Huzzard and I to a game.  We choose the Spurs and he chooses the Knicks, and in no time, we’re dominating the shit out of him like 41-11.  The game freezes on us, and before we can get bewildered and upset, these two kids show up, wanting to get Bryant Reeves’ autographs.  One of them was fat and one of them was small.  The fat one was the alpha amongst them.

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I always have unusual and lucid dreams at my parents’ house

Maybe its the ambient noise from the dehumidifier in my old basement, or maybe it’s the fact that I’m in completely pitch black darkness.  Maybe its the old blankets I used to use when I lived here nine years ago, on top of the mattresses which used to be my old bed.

Apparently, much like how I’ve signed up, or planned to be participating in many more runs and obstacle courses, in this dream, I had been running in several different zombie runs.  For all I know, this girl might have been one of the actual zombies I ran past just a few weeks ago.  But for intents and purposes, I had apparently run in zombie runs in Virginia, Toronto, Miami and Boston.  Each time, I noticed that I came across this one girl who was always participating in her own right, as a zombie.

The encounters were always brief, since I always in escape mode most of the time, but with this girl, I always lingered.  Whether it was because I was playing possum, or it was a one-on-one encounter, leading me to take my time and attempt to get up in their grill before trying to get around them.  The fact of the matter was that I kept running into the same girl several times over, and she was apparently appealing to me, even all dressed up as a zombie.

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A weird dream

I had a weird dream the other night.  In this dream, I was pursuing porn star, Bibi Jones.  And when I say “pursuing,” I mean, I was trying to talk to her, and really really hoping she was as easy as she makes herself sound, like on the Howard Stern show.

For whatever reason, we happened to be in a familiar suburban neighborhood near where I grew up in Virginia.  Later on in the dream, I was in a driveway of a house where Bibi Jones happened to be, and across the street I see none other than Bobby “The Brain” Heenan walking in his yard, picking up his morning paper.  One house down, is Ron Swanson, staring that blank and accusatory stare over in my direction, for what reason, I have no idea.

Later on in this dream, I run into two girls I’ve dated in the past, one of whom had a propensity to change her hair color pretty often.  I didn’t recognize her, but apparently Bibi Jones knew who they were and greeted them as she walked past them.  Ironically, neither of them had any idea who Bibi Jones was either.  But anyway, the one who changed her hair color often had her hair pink at the time, and both girls were dressed in obvious bridesmaids dresses.  So the girl with the pink hair reminded me of Krieger’s virtual girlfriend from Archer.

And just when the dream was getting interesting, with my current lust, and two past romantic interests, I wake up.  Figure that.

I had a disturbing dream the other night

Nobody was sure how it was revealed, but outside of the building we were all residing in, the rest of the world had more or less fell into anarchy.  Our building had limited resources, but there were a lot of people so certainly, there was the manpower to make things work as long as everyone did their part. Communication with the rest of the world no longer seemed possible, so we were all sort of off the grid.

There was another building not far from where the building this dream was taking place in, and I suggested with the people I was with, that perhaps we should send some people over there, and forage for supplies and gather anything that we could use in our new residence for an indeterminate amount of time.  Many agreed with me, and we made tentative plans to make the trek over to the other building.

Before executing the plan to travel, someone brought to my attention that what if the other building were not completely empty as I had initially hypothesized it was?  What if there were other people in that building, in the exact same predicament as we were in?  I hadn’t considered such possibilities.  The trip to the other building never happened.

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The new world, off kilter

Superman screamed across the Atlantic, going at a speed undetectable by human eyes.  He got a late jump on the missiles, and he actually worried if he would make it on time.  Superman narrowed his eyes and focused hard on trying to fly faster, thinking if he could hit the speeds in which he could essentially turn the Earth the opposite direction on its axis, and turn time back to just a few minutes ago, to where he could hope to prevent the launch of these nukes.  But as hard as he flew, he couldn’t catch up.

He was within visual sight of the first two mushroom clouds that emerged from Moscow.  Superman slouched in failure, as the savior of the world couldn’t prevent such destruction.  This moment of desperation was ill-timed, however, as screeching right past his head were several more missiles, headed in the opposite direction, at an amazingly fast speed.  Superman took off, hoping to intercept these Russian missiles, but again, his moments of hesitation proved to be costly.  By the time he got within visual of the remains of the New York skyline, all he saw were clouds of smoke, and dark skies.

I wake up in my dad’s old Caprice Classic station wagon.  My family is together, my mother, father, and sister.

“We’re here,” my dad says.  Where is “here,” I’m thinking?  It’s our new home, it’s explained to me.

New home?  What happened to my old home?

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I wonder what this means

I watched the desk clerk run my credit card the old fashioned, imprinting way, for somewhere just over fifty dollars. Samantha and I walked out of the reception office into the parking lot, the sun beaming down and forcing me to narrow my eyesight in light of the glare. We peered around to get an idea of where our motel room was going to be, and located the general section of where it was. Oddly, it was a stand-alone block of rooms that was in the middle of the U-shaped motel establishment, and acted as kind of a barrier to keep the swimming pool are out of view of the parking lot and the adjacent traffic from the entry point of the property.

Regardless, we headed to our room, me feeling a twinge of excitement, a mixture of anxiety, lust, and anticipation; Samantha was a cute girl with short brown hair, and she was right about the same height as I was, to say that there was one thing on my mind would have been a bit of an understatement. Glancing back at her, such emotion and thoughts must’ve been running through her head too, as we made our way to the entrance to our room.

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Talk about a buzzkill

Ain’t nothing like waking up to the sounds of your parents fighting.  I don’t care what anyone says, you’re never too old to not be bothered by this kind of bullshit.

Man, and I was having a hilariously nerdy Family Guy dream.  Peter Griffin was picking lottery numbers, and wanted to cheat and create his own lottery balls rigged to have his pick of numbers.  When Joe and Bonnie appeared in the dream, it turned disturbingly sexual, when Bonnie exclaimed that her ass could create the numbered balls.  After the initial sexual innuendos and double and triple entendres, it ended with an awkward silence, and then Joe saying “no seriously, Peter.  Stick the balls up Bonnie’s butt.”  After Peter resisted, Joe did his usual flip out of “STICK THE BALLS UP BONNIE’S ASS!!!”

Only having one ping pong ball, Peter proceeded to stick it up Bonnie’s ass.  After some awkward noises, Bonnie popped the ball back out.  Printed on the ball was “116.”  And then Peter right clicked the ball and clicked on view source.  It was all ASP.  And for some reason, it required 22 lines of code to print the number 116 onto a ping pong ball.  Joe, Peter, and I laughed, Bonnie facepalmed with her typical Jennifer Tilly voice, and Peter said “betcha can’t wait to do THAT six more times, Bonnie!”

Laughs ensued.  And then I woke up.  5 cents or 5 dollars.  Either way, this trip is already not worth it.