This breaks my baseball heart

A god damn shame: All-Star pitcher Jonny Venters blows out his pitching elbow for a fourth time, requiring a fourth Tommy John surgery or face retirement.

I haven’t followed baseball too fervently all season, but one thing that I have been keeping tabs on all season was the progress of Jonny Venters.  Between 2010 and 2012, he was pretty much one of the best relief pitchers in all of baseball pitching for the Braves, and I was a super fan of this guy with a ridiculous power sinker from the left side, making All-Star sluggers look pedestrian and notching strikeouts and delivering in the clutch as easily as a mathematician reciting the times tables.

But in 2012, the dominance ride came to a crashing halt as Venters tore his UCL which is to say blowing out the elbow, which means the three letters that no professional athlete wants to ever hear: TJS, Tommy John Surgery.  This would be the second time in Venters’ career that he would undergo the surgery, as he had his first one while climbing up the Braves’ minor league system. 

TJS’s are no joke, since the rough summary is that the rehabilitation process usually requires months of painstakingly droll and monotonous rehab before actual strength and muscle training can even begin.  The average timeline of TJS rehab ranges anywhere from 12-18 months, so it’s not only is it an invasive surgery, it removes players from the game for a lengthy time, chewing away at their already limited playing careers’ clocks and hampering earning potential.

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The breakdown of the Willy’s Road Trip contest

Like the overcompetitive tryhard psychopath I am when it comes to Willy’s, burritos and competition, when I heard about the Willy’s Road Trip contest, and decided that I was going to do it, naturally it turned into a situation of “ha ha, you’re crazy Danny,” to a degree of planning and execution that really probably makes the people around me crook their head a little bit before looking at me next.

So yeah, when I was giving a lot of thought about how I was going to approach this, I decided that I was going to finish it as fast as possible, and came up with a route that would optimize hitting as many Willy’s on particular days, so that I could achieve this optimal finish.

What I was banking on was the fact that among the 27 Willy’s locations, four of them were within office buildings that had limited, Monday through Friday hours, hours as swift as 2:00 p.m. in one of them.  I figure those four would trip up most other psychopaths (if there are any), because the contest started on a Friday, and those most gung-ho about it would have to be as nuts and have as little of a life as I did in order to get them tackled as soon as possible.

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Without villainy, what would people talk about?

Giving fandom a bad name – known “ball hawk,*” gets into game reserved for military servicemen and women, boasts about the baseballs acquired at said game on social media, gets immediate backlash to hilarious results

*a person whose life’s mission is to acquire free baseballs at baseball parks by any means necessary, whether they are caught, picked up, found, retrieved via frighteningly obsessive engineering, or begged for

Because I actually detest the existence of this particular ball hawk, I won’t actually use their name.  I don’t want to give them any named acknowledgement, and I honestly believe this person is sociopathic enough to periodically run Google searches on themselves to see what the internet is saying about them.

Anyway, tonight, there was a very special baseball game played.  Frankly, it’s probably one of the only meaningful games the Braves will play in this season, and there’s an extremely high chance that the only reason the Braves were chosen to play in this game is that because they’re simply the closest Major League Baseball franchise geographically to the desired venue.

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