Month: December 2020

They just want to axe the mailman some questions

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

I don’t have a lot to say about this as much as I just wanted to relay this story about how there was some mailman out in Kentucky who came across some dogs, one of which was holding an axe, and how metal it must’ve been to have seen a dog carrying around, a fucking axe.

I love how the dog is just looking at the, presumably the mailman who snapped this picture, because nothing would inspire intimidation than a dog that looks like a German Shepard which are already intimidating breeds, but also carrying an axe.

It’s almost like a Final Fantasy random encounter where the devs take ordinary creatures like bears or bulls, but then arbitrarily slap on armor or weapons as if creatures like those weren’t already powerhouses to begin with.  A German Shepard with an axe is like giving a weapon to a champion martial artist.

Anyway, the picture says everything, and is entertaining all the same.  I should train my big dog to carry around a hatchet or a katana around as her favorite toy, so she can wander around outside with a weapon and potentially scare off would-be property casers.

Advent Beer #20: Märzenbier by Hösl

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Earlier in the day, I went to the grocery store to pick up some food stuffs to feed my infant throughout the week.  There was an unnerving amount of anti-maskers there, in spite of the fact that the entrance of the store explicitly says they are required.  Obviously, nobody wants to get into any altercations or get assaulted over mask policies, so this always slides, no matter where you go.

This is where I wish there were Luke Cages all over the place to enforce mask policies, and nobody could fuck with them or even hurt them, even they tried.  Get on that shit, Publix.

Coming home, there was a house with no less than eight cars out front.  I’m assuming someone was having a football party of some sort.  It’s not like coronavirus numbers aren’t on the rise, and large gatherings don’t have something to do with it.

The night prior, there was a house near me that had at least 16 cars parked out front.  The fuck is wrong with everyone?  I hope every anti-masker and every person who arrogantly is helping prolong this epidemic gets fucking coronavirus.  They seem to want it so badly, I think the world owes it to them to oblige them.

Anyway.  Twenty beers down, four to go.  My first impression when I pulled the can out of fridge my first impression was that this looked like the most German can that I’ve seen over the last three weeks.  With a font choice that makes me think of Wolfenstein 3D, and a crest that seems to have lederhosen with an H worked into it, it’s basically the most German design there’s been.

As for the beer itself, it was a nice dark caramel color, and I was beginning to wonder if I was going to get yet another dunkel, which made me excited.  The first sip was met with a toasty flavor, and I thought that perhaps I was getting another dunkel.  The snobs at BeerAdvocate however classify this as a lager, and I’m brought back to earth at how much of a novice I am at being able to classify my own beers.

Holy shit, that finish to TLC – Randy Orton just attempted murder on the Fiend, thus furthering the narrative that he’s completely incapable of putting anyone over, and the company remains implicit to his long-standing dominance.  Better punish that attempted murder with another title shot.

Anyway.  But the fact that I thought this was a dunkel was to say that I thought it was good.  The flavor reminded me of a dunkel since it was kind of toasty, kind of caramel-ly, and not too bitter.  But I guess the revelation that it was not a true dunkel crashes its rankings with me, and compared to all the ones above it, it doesn’t bring enough to the table to overtake.

Regardless, it still sits comfortably in the upper half of the biers, and this is one that I wouldn’t mind having more of again in the future should I come across it.  After all, I’d only have to look for the bier with the lederhosen in its logo.

Current Rankings:

  1. Jubilation Suds (#18)
  2. Bären Weisse (#16)
  3. First Coral (#2)
  4. Kirta (#5)
  5. Turbo Prop (#6)
  6. Schwarze Tinte (#13)
  7. Perlenzauber (#9)
  8. Loncium Vienna Style Lager (#12)
  9. Märzenbier (#20)
  10. Jubiläumsbier 333 (#7)
  11. Zwönitzer Steinbier (#4)
  12. Alpen Stoff (#17)
  13. Erl Hell (#19)
  14. Grandl (#11)
  15. Altbairisch Hell (#15)
  16. Hell (#1)
  17. Tannen Hell (#8)
  18. Tradition (#10)
  19. Hallertauer Hopfen-Cuvee (#14)
  20. Käuzle (#3)

Playoff Team*

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

*Went undefeated, with a perfect 6-0 record; while most other schools in the nation played 10-11

When the day is over Ohio State makes the playoffs, because those in charge understand that it’s best for business that Ohio State plays in a nationally televised playoff game; I write such as singular, because little chance that Ohio State is going to upend Clemson, and much like last year, they’re going to fall short and make all the armchair pundits at home revile the fact that another team gets undressed by Clemson and that someone else should have made the playoffs in their place.

But still, it’s complete bullshit that college football allows Ohio State to maintain a high rank and make the college football playoff when they played 2/3 the games that most other programs did.  Sure, some of it was out of their control, because 74 million Americans are retards that couldn’t avoid getting coronavirus even if they were inside of a medical bubble, but it doesn’t change the fact that Ohio State basically gets entry into the playoffs on reputation alone.

Because it wasn’t really their strength of schedule that warrants playoff contention; four of their six paltry games were against unranked opponents, and the other two, Indiana and Northwestern, are schools that would never be ranked in any ordinary season where every program is dealing with players out on account of pandemic whether it was voluntary or stupidity.  The fact that the Big10 championship featured Northwestern at all goes to show just how weak of a conference they were playing in, and Ohio State only managed to win by 12 points when they probably should’ve won by 42.

Regardless, coronavirus or no coronavirus, it’s impossible to have a college football season without some controversy on rankings and standings, and this is no exception.  College football was in a perfect position to have some fun, and considering how many schools rose to the occasion of a chaotic field, it could have been really fun to have seen a non-power five conference school get into the playoffs, and because power five schools all play to the same metas, could definitely give some fits to some contenders.

Given the fact that Ohio State will probably lose 37-17 to Clemson, there’s no way it wouldn’t have been remotely interesting to have seen like, Clemson vs. Cincinnati or Clemson vs. Coastal Carolina (11-0); it’s not like they would have done any worse than what Ohio State is probably going to do.

Whatever though; in a season that shouldn’t have happened at all in the first place, it looks like we’re headed for Alabama vs. Clemson #5(?) for the National Championship, and considering this is now Trevor Lawrence’s swan song, he’ll probably go out a winner, because in spite of the 2-2 record in the playoffs between the two programs, Lawrence ate the shit out of Alabama’s lunch in their last meeting, and there’s little reason to believe that another encounter will result in anything different.

Advent Beer #19: Erl Hell by Landbrauerei Ludwig Erl

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

I’m in a pleasant mood.  I’ve been doing some redecorating to my office since I’m in there for the vast majority of my work weeks, and I’ve been identifying lots of things that I think could use some reorganization.  Things have worked out close to how I was envisioning them, and I’m feeling pretty good about the work I’ve put in, and I’m like 90% of the way done.

That said, I was looking at the time when I was wrapping things up, and I thought to myself, I’m in a good mood, so I’m going to enjoy the shit out of whatever beer I pull out of the fridge tonight.  I can’t wait to prost.

I pull this green-ass can out of the fridge and take a look at the design.  “Hell”  WTF.  Another fucking Hell bier?  I already learned that in Deutsch “hell” means “bright,” so it’s safe to assume that this would be another bright and light lager like all of the other three hell biers preceding this one.  But my objection is that this is yet another bier called hell, and I’m wondering whom between Costco or whatever company boxed this advent calendar, if there’s a modicum of trolling going on with all these bright and light lagers all called hell, or if they’re trying to tell consumers something with all this shit called “hell” in an advent calendar.

Regardless, I’m still in a pleasant mood, and I thought to myself that I’d probably be lighter and more generous to whatever beer came from today.  And in all fairness, none of the hell biers were necessarily bad, it’s just that they all kind of fall into the category of light-bodied, light-colored, fairly easy to drink, Asian-beer types that are slightly watery, blander in taste but still easy to drink.  It’s just that none of them particularly stand out of the pack, and falls into a designation of good beers to keep the party going, but none that are going to be the star of the menu.

So I have good news and I have bad news as far as Erl Hell’s rankings go.  The good news is that thanks mostly to recency bias, I’m ranking this Hell bier as the best of the four (so far) hell biers.  This places it in the second third of the rankings.  The bad news is that, that doesn’t really say much because after 19 days, we have enough beers ranked to where the second third of the rankings still places it at a fairly middling #12 out of 19.  But as I said, I’m feeling satisfied with myself tonight and this is me giving it a little bit of a bump as a result.

With five more beers to go, I’m wondering if there’s going to be one more hell bier or not.  If I’m a betting man, I want to say no, but at the same time I can’t say I would be surprised if they had one waiting at #24.

Current Rankings:

  1. Jubilation Suds (#18)
  2. Bären Weisse (#16)
  3. First Coral (#2)
  4. Kirta (#5)
  5. Turbo Prop (#6)
  6. Schwarze Tinte (#13)
  7. Perlenzauber (#9)
  8. Loncium Vienna Style Lager (#12)
  9. Jubiläumsbier 333 (#7)
  10. Zwönitzer Steinbier (#4)
  11. Alpen Stoff (#17)
  12. Erl Hell (#19)
  13. Grandl (#11)
  14. Altbairisch Hell (#15)
  15. Hell (#1)
  16. Tannen Hell (#8)
  17. Tradition (#10)
  18. Hallertauer Hopfen-Cuvee (#14)
  19. Käuzle (#3)

Advent Beer #18: Jubiläums-Sud by Herrnbräu

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

When I pulled this bier out of the fridge, my first thought was “Herrnbräu?  Wasn’t there already a Herrnbräu beer already?”  To which the answer was yes, as bier #10 was also a Herrnbräu product, Tradition.  It did not rank well on my rankings, and it was kind of like the Miller High Life of Germany; as in the cheap, easily drinkable beer that you drink after you’ve got your buzz going and you want to keep it going.  It wasn’t terrible, but at the same time, it was entirely forgettable.  If I didn’t write about it, I wouldn’t have been remotely close to recalling anything about it.

Regardless, I do not waste beer if I can help it, and perhaps this Jubiläums-Sud which looks like it says “Jubilation Suds” could redeem Herrnbräu and make me not feel critical that a box full of beers from a country that’s known for its beer production would dare to double dip to one company when there are probably hundreds to have chosen from.

I thought the can design was boring and the green and gold in the logo make me think of O’Douls, the shitty non-alcoholic beer, and the types of middle-aged white men who want to look like they’re partying but don’t have the cojones to actually drink.  But that’s really where the criticisms end.

Cracking open the can, I’m met by an aroma that’s subtle but pleasant.  Pouring it into my pint glass, I’m pleasantly surprised at the dark, caramel color that’s coming out, and my mind is immediately wondering, is this a dunkel?  I don’t see the word dunkel or any variant of dunkel anywhere on the can, so I’m left wondering.

Intrigued, I bring the pint up to my lips and take a first taste, and I’m immediately greeted by a toasty flavor with not too much bitterness, and I’m fairly certain that this has to be a dunkel.  BeerAdvocate says it is a dunkel, and I’m satisfied that I’m able to identify that on my own.  Immediately my mind is placing this high on my rankings, and the real question is, is this the new #1?  Bearjew Weisse just took the #1 spot two days ago, and already a strong competitor has come out of locker room and is threatening.

It’s kind of like when Mark McGwire hit 70 home runs in 1998 to set the all-time single-season record* and everyone’s all like this is a record that will never ever be broken, and then just three years later, a juiced out of his testicles Barry Bonds cranks out 73 home runs and McGwire’s place in history is kicked to the curb just like that.

Well, in spite of the poor showing by Herrnbräu a week ago with Tradition, they’ve not just redeemed themselves with Jubiliation Suds, but it’s also Barry Bonds and it’s the new #1 beer in my list, with six days to go.  Bearjew McgWeisse can go lie to congress about being all-natural and get comfortable at the #2 spot now.

It’s got that almost sweet toasted caramel-ly flavor, it’s not too bitter, it goes down smooth, and it’s everything that I grew to love in dunkels while traversing through München and Wein.  When I first embarked on this bier journey, I was really hoping that there would be some dunkels in the mix, and this is proof that they most certainly are worth the waiting out for.

Current Rankings:

  1. Jubilation Suds (#18)
  2. Bearjew Weisse (#16)
  3. First Coral (#2)
  4. Kirta (#5)
  5. Turbo Prop (#6)
  6. Schwarze Tinte (#13)
  7. Perlenzauber (#9)
  8. Loncium Vienna Style Lager (#12)
  9. Jubiläumsbier 333 (#7)
  10. Zwönitzer Steinbier (#4)
  11. Alpen Stoff (#17)
  12. Grandl (#11)
  13. Altbairisch Hell (#15)
  14. Hell (#1)
  15. Tannen Hell (#8)
  16. Tradition (#10)
  17. Hallertauer Hopfen-Cuvee (#14)
  18. Käuzle (#3)

New Father Brogging, #029

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

It would have been pretty easy for me to do nothing but write about beer all month long and call it a day, but that would’ve been kind of a cop out as far as dutiful brogging is concerned.  Beer is nice, and I’ve been enjoying the fares from Deutschland, but there are still plenty of things on my mind that warrant words, no matter how much I may feel unmotivated to write about them, and when the day is over, it’s more important to me to write out my thoughts than to be lazy, even if it feels kind of forced; this is how seriously I take it to write, sometimes.

Anyway, in this new dad brog, there is one update and there is one observation.  As for the update, things have actually been going fairly smoothly since the last time I wrote about my adventures in fatherhood.  My daughter and I have a fairly consistent routine that’s been making life not too difficult for either of us for the most part, and the days are flying by like leaves in the winter air.  I wake up at 6:30~ish every single day, regardless of if it’s the weekend or not, mythical wife feeds baby, and then I entertain baby until first nap in which I then either really get to work, or if it’s the weekend I nap or sometimes get my jogging out of the way if I’m feeling up for it.  Our nanny takes care of kid for the next four hours on weekdays, or I spend time with her on weekends, and then it’s off to bed by 6:30~ish, to which mythical wife and I try to have some time for ourselves.  Repeat x infinity

However, as we’ve crossed the nine-month mark, naturally nothing stays the same forever, no matter how comfortable it’s been.  And in this particular case, whenever we run into any sort of issue, I can punch it into Google, and the precise query I intended to look up is automatically filled, reminding me that there has been absolutely nothing my kid has done or I have experienced, that millions of parents out there have not already seen.

As indicative in the photo above, that’s my child, standing in her crib.  As her little body and brain have been developing, she’s decided that immediate sleep isn’t something she necessarily needs anymore, and has decided to sit up, and pull herself up to her feet and just kind of hangout in her crib, instead of sleeping.  99% of the time, she’ll spit out her pacifier, piss herself off, and begin crying then wailing, then screaming, which prompts me to have to up and try to reset the whole scenario all over again, before she calms down, I walk out, and then she repeats it 3-4 times, burning us out in the process.

It seems evident that she herself is working things out and is playing a daily game of how many shenanigans she wants to pull in her crib between two naps and bed time, and how much she actually wants to sleep, because since behavior has begun, no two sleep sessions have been alike in how much she fights, how much she wanders around independently and how quick or long it takes before she actually goes out, and for parents like me that like routine it’s been occasionally frustrating.

Continue reading “New Father Brogging, #029” →

Advent Beer #17: Alpen Stoff by Bürgerbräu Bad Reichenhall

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

I’m not a fan of IPAs.  They’re bitter, they taste like piss, and it’s obnoxious that every microbrew and craft beer maker in the country makes their name off of some signature IPA.  Every home brewer seems to make an IPA, and from what I understand, it’s mostly because IPAs are some of the easiest beers to manufacture, which is why everyone who makes beer always tries to put their own twist on an IPA, when to people like me they’re all basically goat piss in the end.

When I first took a pull of Alpen Stoff, my taste buds triggered my mind to go “oh no, it’s like an IPA,” but before the thought could really finish, the bitter note at the end of it came to an abrupt ending, right before the point where I’d go “fuck I hate IPAs” but not before I could identify the bitter note at the very end.

So it kind of tasted like an IPA, but without that piss-like bitterness at the very end that usually makes me resent IPAs in the first place.  According to BeerAdvocate, this is classified as a lager, but what the fuck do I know about classifications beyond a rudimentary level, but I would’ve pegged this as an ale, since it kind of tasted like an IPA without being complete shit.  It definitely has a grassy, hoppy flavor to it which makes me think that, but I guess it was fairly smooth and fairly light-bodied like a good lager.

Ultimately, it’s not my favorite beer of the month so far, and I’d definitely slot this in the lower half of my rankings, but when the day is over, I feel like I want to give it some credit for almost tasting like an IPA, but being one that was actually palatable to me, and taking out just enough properties of a shitty IPA to make it remotely drinkable.

I also realize that I’ve made enough allusions to drinking piss to the point where I must actually disclaim that I’ve never drank piss in my life, of any species.  Unless you count IPAs, because they’re basically the same thing, and I’d frankly find more satisfaction in saving my taste buds and my digestive system the trouble by just pouring them down a urinal instead of drinking them.

Current Rankings:

  1. Bären Weisse (#16)
  2. First Coral (#2)
  3. Kirta (#5)
  4. Turbo Prop (#6)
  5. Schwarze Tinte (#13)
  6. Perlenzauber (#9)
  7. Loncium Vienna Style Lager (#12)
  8. Jubiläumsbier 333 (#7)
  9. Zwönitzer Steinbier (#4)
  10. Alpen Stoff (#17)
  11. Grandl (#11)
  12. Altbairisch Hell (#15)
  13. Hell (#1)
  14. Tannen Hell (#8)
  15. Tradition (#10)
  16. Hallertauer Hopfen-Cuvee (#14)
  17. Käuzle (#3)