For lack of a better term, I’m a creature of habit. I have a morning routine. I brush my teeth and groom myself in the same order every day. I drink my coffee the same way. And I like to park in the same place everyday.
I don’t understand people sometimes. I took psych classes early in college, and I thought I had a good grasp of things, but obviously, that’s full of shit. Why people do the things they do is completely beyond me; this is implying that I’m giving the benefit of doubt to thinking people have to notice their surroundings, especially after it’s been the norm for several months. Even people with disorder-like short-term memory absorb shit after enough repetition, or so like that shitty Adam Sandler movie leads us to believe.
So today’s rant is simply about the fact that at Dykeland, someone keeps hoisting my routine parking space, and I don’t really know why.
And it’s not like it’s premium parking either; because I’m not a lazy fat fuck, I deliberately park away from everyone else, since I like routine, and I like knowing that the undesirable spot is one I can claim for myself. I’ve been doing this since I started working here, back in like September.
So after about a month, I pull in, and there’s this brand-new black Toyota Camry parked in my spot. I’m thinking ‘wtf,’ and I have no choice but to park elsewhere. This repeats itself several days, and I finally resign to the fact that some twat has taken it upon herself to usurp my spot; yes, I’m aware of who it is, I know what she looks like, I know what she does, but I have no idea who she really is. So I convince myself that the spot wasn’t that great, since tree shit falls all over my car, and I choose a spot across from it, underneath no trees.
I’ve been parking there since. The Camry has been parking in my old spot since. For over several months now. As I said, maybe I’m being generous in thinking it, but I’d like to believe the woman is astute enough to notice “the other car” that’s parking in Dykeland’s bumfuck with her.
This morning, I pull in, to find the Camry in my routine spot, instead of her typical place, my old routine spot. Once is misunderstanding, this time she’s just being obtuse. And since all bets are now off, I see no other option but to make it perfectly clear – I park right up on her car; since she parks like a dumb woman in the first place, she’s far too over on the left anyway, so me parking adequately (okay, slightly leaned due to her shitty lead), I’m giving her maybe 7-8 inches of clearance for her to open her driver’s door. As I said, I know what she looks like; she’s a skinny little bitch, she can fit in there just fine.
Am I being petty? Probably. But I’m a creature of habit, and I get anxious and stressed when my habits are forced to be broken because of someone’s inexplicable reasoning to change up theirs and whether it is coincidence or not, force themselves upon mine.
Besides, it’s not like I’ve done anything wrong, nor technically, neither has she; she simply parked in a spot, poorly albeit, and I parked in the adjacent parking spot. NOTHING being insinuated here.
This post was brought to you, at, Taqueria del Sol, in Midtown Atlanta.
