Tag: greed

Whew. Let’s talk about Shohei Ohtani

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

The whew in the title has nothing to do with any sort of relief I may be feeling that I do not have to shave my balls, because anyone with a brain knew that there was no chance in hell that Shohei Ohtani was going to sign with the Atlanta Braves.  I would’ve felt comfortable betting my house that Ohtani wasn’t going to sign with the Braves, frankly.  The whew in the title really is just in regards to how much there is to unpack, now that the free agent of the millennium has finally been signed and taken off the table and the rest of MLB can move on with its tumultuous life.

It actually happened a few days ago, and I just didn’t have the opportunity to sit down and put all my knee-jerk reactions down to text, but for those who missed it, uber-star Shohei Ohtani ended his not-so silent quest for a free agent contract, and has chosen to sign with the Los Angeles Dodgers, up the I-5 from Anaheim, at an earth-shattering $700 million dollars over the next ten years.

This wasn’t just the most expensive contract in Major League Baseball history, this is supposedly the biggest professional athlete contract in all sports’ histories, surpassing even guys like Lionel Messi and Cristiano Ronaldo much less Aaron Judge, Bryce Harper and Max Scherzer.  Do the math, and it’s a guy who’s going to be getting paid $70 million dollars a year to play a children’s game.

And the thing is, most people haven’t bothered to care or learn, but Ohtani’s ability to pitch is completely off the table until like 2025, as he will be recovering from major elbow surgery over the span of now until most of 2024.  The Dodgers knew this, and they still were comfortable with giving him the biggest contract in history; he’s a remarkable hitter no doubt, but I can think of 2-3 guys I’d have pursued alternatively instead of dropping $700M on someone whom I’ll only be getting half their skillset for the start of the contract.

Whatever though, the goose chase is over, and Ohtani is going to be a Dodger for the next decade, and the rest of MLB fanbases can bemoan the rich getting richer, as the Dodgers pick up yet another marquee free agent, and their payroll looks to balloon way past what the Mets just set the bar to the year prior.  Frankly I’m not surprised that he went to the Dodgers, because as much as I knew he wasn’t going to land on the Braves, I figured he was probably either going to stay with the Angels, or go to the Dodgers or the Phillies, because those seem to be the only two teams that players actively want to end up going to these days.  And in spite of some gallant efforts by the Toronto Blue Jays, I’m sure Ohtani’s camp reminded him of the colossal pain in the ass that playing in Canada is like with all the constant customs hangups as well as Canada’s high taxes for services that he’d probably never use.

The thing is, after the breaking news of Ohtani’s signing occurred, what I really was the most curious about was the minute details of the contract, namely opt-out clauses as well as my favorite footnote in sport contracts, deferred monies.  At first, it was really hush-hush, leading people to believe that he was just going to get $70M a year, plain and simple, but baseball contracts are never plain and simple, and are astounding when they are.

When the news first came out, none of these details were made available, but ironically in the time between breaking news to when I could actually have some time to write about it, the things I cared about emerged, and hoo boy, are they some really interesting and unprecedented things.

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It’s been a while, how about building another sports property??

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Over the span of the last decade or so, Georgia and primarily the Metro Atlanta area has seen a lot of sports-related projects be dropped onto us.  Spouting bullshit like economic impact, (minimum-wage) job creation and moar reasons for people to come visit _____ to feebly mask the reality that a bunch of old men are going to be getting rich on their investments while the taxpayers of each locale eat the brunt of the cost, we in Atlanta have witnessed such projects emerge or be proposed:

  • ScumTrust now Truist Park, the brand new home of the Atlanta Braves so that Braves fans could get away from all the scary black people in Downtown Atlanta
  • Mercedes-Benz Arena, the home of Atlanta United and the Atlanta Falcons because there was nothing wrong with the Georgia Dome other than the fact that it wasn’t designed to look like Megatron’s butthole and didn’t have an endorsement built into it
  • Atlanta United’s Training Grounds, because practicing and training at their brand new stadium is probably difficult because of all the traffic in Downtown
  • Gateway Center Arena, in Jurassic Ghetto College Park so that the Atlanta Hawks could have their developmental G-League squad have their very own stadium too
  • It was once proposed to build a Cricket Stadium out in Smyrna, coincidentally there is an extremely high concentration of Indians in the area, whom could probably actually justify its existence, but thankfully nothing really came from this
  • Out in Dawsonville, some developers want to build a Battery-like multi-purpose park, centered around a massive arena that would hope to lure an NHL team back to Atlanta in the event there are any more expansions in the future

So short of an NHL team that the city had already squandered, Atlanta’s pretty well represented in most major spectator sports, with the Braves, Hawks, Falcons and United, as well as minor league baseball and hockey smattered around the outskirts.  And they’ve all got their expensive little homes to mostly themselves; you’d think at this point, the city was actually full of sport venues/facilities, and couldn’t actually find any more means to build sport-related shit to bilk taxpayers, right?

LOL this post wouldn’t have come to fruition if the answer were actually yes.

So let’s congratulate Fayetteville, Georgia, for becoming the new and future home of the US Soccer National Training Center and the US Soccer Federation, and the latest victim member of Georgia’s club of regions to get more than likely fleeced by the building of something that the state had no need for in the first place.

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If Ohtani ends up on the Braves, I will shave my balls

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

One of the big narratives this baseball offseason is, where will Shohei Ohtani go???  He’s basically the best player in the game right now and an unrestricted free agent, so the sky is the limit to where he’s going to go and for how much.  For months, people have been throwing around price tags of $500M for like 15 years in order to secure him, and ordinarily every time I hear such absurd numbers, I always think, sometimes say, that no human being alive in existence is worth that kind of money, but in the case of Ohtani, if there were ever a place to begin the conversation of the value of a person, his name should probably be up there.

However, one of the more obnoxious things that I’ve been seeing in recent days, is the Atlanta Braves’ name being mentioned in the same breath as Shohei Ohtani, as if they have any modicum of a chance at being able to get their hooks into the guy that is so far above Babe Ruth as Babe Ruth was above all of the rest of us in baseball talent.  Spouting all sorts of bullshit rhetoric that Ohtani wants to play for a winner, and seeing as how the Braves have been doing well for themselves over the last few years, Atlanta should not be discounted as a possible destination.  Bullshit claims from anonymously fake sources that Ohtani is “intrigued” by the Braves.

It also doesn’t help that the Braves are currently cleaning house internally, and they just non-tendered and traded a bunch of players to clear them off the 40-man roster, but from the last reports I heard, they’re really only saving like $14M in doing such, and it’s clear that the end game really were the roster spots, with the salary savings being a minute bonus.  Many of the names were recognizable and not just some minor league fodder, but given the circumstances over the last year or two, none of these should be surprising, or seen as that much of a loss.

But make no mistake, there is no fucking chance in hell that the Braves are going to get Ohtani, and I’d be really appreciative if the conversation of such asinine speculation would just stop, because all it’s doing is making a bunch of Braves homers look like idiots in thinking that there’s any iota chance of hell that he’ll suit up for the Braves. 

This isn’t one of those lame attempts to reverse jinx and tempt the fates at trying to control the universe, and have the Braves miraculously secure him in order to make me be a man of my word and shave my balls, I just so genuinely feel strongly that there’s no chance that the Braves will get him, and I just wish people would stop even making the speculation because it just makes everyone doing so, and everyone who gets hope, look dumb.

I would legitimately feel comfortable in betting my house that it’s not going to happen, because even if Ohtani were interested in Atlanta’s strength at getting into the postseason, there’s no way the Braves would be even close to meeting his financial demands.  Ohtani is likely going to want $500M, and due to the unending escalation of player salaries, will command $500M, and the Braves are going to haggle and be all Braves-ey and ask him to drop down to $295M for 13 years, and try to sell him on the chances of World Series glory at a discount, and then Ohtani is going to be insulted and annoyed that he wasted his time even entertaining the thought of coming to Atlanta.

Then he’ll end up signing with the Dodgers or the Phillies because those are the only two teams anyone seems to want to go to anymore, and worse off, he won’t forget the disrespect from the Braves, and use it as fuel to crush Atlanta whenever they play against each other in the regular season, and then when the Braves inevitably meet up with whatever team Ohtani ends up on in the NLDS, Ohtani will throw a post-season no-hitter against them while clubbing 3 HR and driving in 8 RBI en route to an NLDS MVP* and helping with yet another NLDS exit for the Braves.

*for the record I know that there’s no such thing as an NLDS MVP award but I’m just flexing my baseball humor for the time where some pitcher on the Cardinals had a clause in his contract for a bonus for winning NLDS MVP

Plus the Braves haven’t exactly had a stellar history when it comes to accommodating Asian baseball players.  Jung Bong was basically an ace in Korea, and barely amounted to a fourth starter for the Braves.  Chien-Ming Wang, the greatest Taiwanese pitcher of all time, decided that he’d rather go play indy ball than play for the Gwinnett Braves when he was trying to return from injury.  And then there was fellow Japanese pitcher Kenshin Kawakami, who is probably texting Ohtani telling him to stay the fuck away from Atlanta, if he has his number or any means of getting in contact with him.

Instead, the Braves will bring in some 2 or 3-tier starting pitchers at economical contracts, that will be expected to overperform, bounce back, or be veteran leaders for the next wave of Mike Sorokas, Kyle Wrights, Braden Shewmakes and other promising young starting pitchers that will ultimately be unloaded for relievers later on, and even if they play well during the regular season, they’ll be too old and tired or injured by the time October rolls around.

For real though, can we all just stop with the embarrassment of speculating Ohtani to the Braves?  It’s not going to happen, and everyone who gives into hoping that it will is just setting themselves up for as much disappointment as whenever the Braves make the playoffs and people think they’ll actually get out of the NLDS.  I ain’t having anymore kids, so it’s never going to happen again, and the chances of me having to shave my balls is more than likely even less.

Jimbo Fisher: The Bobby Bonilla of College Football

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

When I first heard the rumblings that Texas A&M was planning to axe Jimbo Fisher, I didn’t think much of it.  Just that it must really suck to be Jimbo Fisher and having to hear through the grapevine that your termination was basically coming, and that you just have to sit there waiting for the shoe to drop.  Even more so than the fact that at the time, Texas A&M, while not having a great season, were still 6-4, bowl eligible and in the grand spectrum of the sport, at least more than likely going to have yet another winning season.

Frankly, I’m surprised that Texas A&M is doing such, because Jimbo, in spite of not having won a National Championship for the school, is still a rare breed of good coach, who has been to the top of the mountain before, when he won a natty with Florida State, and for all intents and purposes knows what he’s doing.  The interesting thing is that ATM* hasn’t exactly been a cellar dweller under Jimbo Fisher, which is usually one of the first pre-requisites for firing a coach; under Jimbo, ATM has gone 45-25, and won 9, 8, 9, 8 games before a five-win season a year ago, and as it stands right now, the Aggies probably will finish with seven this year.  But two unsatisfactory years is basically bad luck, injuries, a miss on a recruit or two, but really nothing a fairly successful football program like ATM should worry about.

*what I like to call Texas A&M because their logo’s letter order is literally, “ATM” and it’s also a metaphor to the cash cow that college football is

What it really boils down to is the fact that ATM has higher expectations than much of the rest of CFB, and are tired of hanging out in the middle of the pack and want to make a change for the sake of making change.  The thing is, there’s a vastly higher chance that ATM is going to go through some really dismal years over the next few, possibly miss some bowls (and the payouts that come with participation), and probably would have been better off in terms of wins and losses if they stuck with Jimbo.

But the bigger story is the fact that in firing Jimbo Fisher, ATM is still on the hook for around $77 million dollars of contracted salary, and despite the fact that he won’t be driving the reigns for the program, are very much responsible for paying every single cent.  Unsurprisingly, this is the highest payout in CFB history, and if there’s one thing that never seems to change with my interests, is stories about sports having too much fucking money and doing a whole lot of dumb shit with it.

Long story short, from what I’ve seen, it appears that ATM is taking a page out of MLB and going on an installment plan in order to help spread out the money they owe Jimbo, instead of just plunking down $77M, slapping him on the ass and bidding him adieu.  So until 2031, it looks like ATM will be paying $7.27M every single year to not be coaching ATM.  He gets a lump sum of $19.4 immediately for some reason, I don’t care to know the granular details, but basically starting in 2024 and over the next eight years, he’ll be getting a cool $7.27M for doing absolutely nothing,

This is of course, a similar situation to Bobby Bonilla, the baseball player whose agent somehow transformed $5.9M into nearly $30M, spread out over 25 years, except the fact that it doesn’t appear that Jimbo’s agent negotiated any variables for inflation or interest.  But who’s to say that within the next eight years, ATM gets sick of how much cash they’re literally throwing away, and renegotiate something that does encroach more similarly to Bobby Bo territory, but that’ll be another post for if it ever occurs.

But given the sheer dollar amount and the breakdown of daily intake, Jimbo Fisher is not only the Bobby Bonilla of CFB, he’s actually making out way bigger than Bobby Bonilla ever did.  $77M is greater than $30M, and whereas Bobby Bo is basically making $3k a day for existing, Jimbo Fisher will be making roughly $28k every single day until the end of 2031, merely for existing.

Chalk this up as another reason why sports are so (ironically) great, and just how much needless money is dumped into these industries to where programs can literally set millions and millions of dollars on fire and suffer absolutely no consequences in the process.  Whereas I couldn’t have given any lesser number of shits about Texas A&M in the past, just due to this failure of a scenario, I kind of feel like I need to root against them, and whomever is Jimbo’s successor, just so I can imagine a guy I gave no turds about in the past, laughing in front of a television while the Aggies get rolled around in the basement of the SEC for years to come.

Nothing says World Series champion like a technicality

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

Regardless of who ultimately wins the World Series, there will be at least one particularly undeserving member of their team’s organization, that will be getting a World Series championship ring.

In the red corner, we have pitcher Madison Bumgarner, who will get a WS ring if the Dbacks win the World Series, despite the fact that he was cut all the way back in April.  MLB rules state that any player that plays any duration of time on the team’s roster, is entitled to a WS ring upon the organization’s winning of a championship that season. 

Despite the fact that Bumgarner got blown up to the tune of 20 runs in just 16.2 innings in April, and was kind of a dick about accepting any sort of coaching, the rules do say that if the Diamondbacks, he would be entitled to receive his fourth championship ring, in spite of the fact that he hasn’t been on the roster for over six months.

And in the blue corner, we have Max Scherzer, to his credit, is still on the Rangers’ roster, but has been trying his hardest to prevent the Rangers from doing any sort of winning.  Since being reactivated for the ALCS, Mad Max has made three playoff starts, but has only pitched to the tune of 9.2 innings, and given up seven earned runs in the process. 

In spite of his ineffectiveness, the Rangers still won two of those putrid starts, and are two wins away from the Commissioner’s Trophy; however the bad news is that if the Diamondbacks manage to stretch this series out even just the littlest bit, the chances of Max Scherzer getting the ball again in a critical game six or seven go up exponentially, and he definitely doesn’t inspire any confidence in his current state.

So which brings us to the question of, who would be the heavier freeloader in one of the teams’ hypothetical championship wins?

There’s something to be said about a guy who was on the squad for 14% of the entire season, and ineffectively at that, getting a championship ring, but then there’s the guy that is actively sandbagging the team’s chances at getting the championship, right now. 

If I had to ironically pick one of them to get their ring that they don’t deserve, I think it would be funnier if it were Bumgarner, but as it stands right now, the Rangers seem like they’re a little bit more Team of Destiny™ than even the Diamondbacks are, so it’s looking more favorable that Scherzer might gravy-train his way to his second WS ring, not to mention that he’ll be due to make around $118M over the next four seasons being paid out from four different franchises.  But on that same token, there’s something owning towards the Mets that their big-ticket acquisition goes onto win a ring with another team after the abject failure of the Mets forced them to trade him.

Regardless, it really doesn’t matter to me, and I really don’t care so much as it’s just mildly amusing that we’re in a scenario where a completely undeserving guy is going to be getting a championship ring regardless of the outcome of the World Series.

(Ironic) reason #169 why baseball is so great.

[EDITlol] not long after I wrote this, it came out that Max Scherzer was removed from the World Series roster, citing some bullshit physical ailment, to which any sports fan with a brain knows, is the dreaded DL for sucking.  And seeing as how the Rangers are now 3-1 in the series, it doesn’t seem likely that a Scherzer in game 7 is even remotely a possibility, so it looks like Mad Max might be getting the ring he doesn’t deserve.

AEWShop be out of their GOT damn mind

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

  • Get email from shopAEW.com for some reason, I’ve never purchased anything from them before
  • Limited edition The Acclaimed-themed AEW World Trios Champions replica blets
  • Only TEN will be made
  • $5,000*

*actually $4,999

Most people know the story about how way back when, someone in marketing figured out that pricing things with a cent value of 99¢ often times subliminally tricked consumers into thinking something was cheaper than it really was, because like $1.99 was leaps and bounds cheaper than $2.00 was, solely based on the fact that all they saw was a leading $1 instead of a $2.

Yeah, I think when we’re dealing with the difference between four thousand and five thousand dollars, that single digit in the ones column really isn’t going to be fooling anyone.

But here we are, where AEW is now selling a replica blet that is, for all intents and purposes, the most expensive replica blet on the market.  Higher than WWE’s Elite series of replica blets (~$2,000 USD), and higher than New Japan’s replica blets ($2,500-3,400 USD), and not even close, butting up against $5,000 in comparison to others.

Allegedly, the old NWA/WCW World Heavyweight Championship blet that was synonymous with Ric Flair back in the olden days, was originally estimated to be $8,000-10,000 depending on whom you asked, and when the NWA refused to give Ric Flair back a collateral of $10,000 at one point, he took the blet with him, and showed up to WWF television with a rival promotion’s blet.

The point of bringing that up is the fact that an actual original championship blet, albeit in 1991 dollars, was closer to the asking price of AEW’s tribute Trios blet, than any other blet replica available in marketspace.

I know that the Acclaimed are pretty over right now, but the fact of the matter is that in the grand spectrum of the wrestling industry, they still haven’t proven jack shit, to be worthy of getting a tribute blet, much less one with so much exclusivity, that they might not actually move all ten of them but who am I kidding, AEW tribe marks are so ryde or die that they’re probably already all ten accounted for by the time I’m done with this post.

Like, WWE has a shitload of tribute blets out there, but they’re all for guys that are legitimate legends of the industry.  AEW giving a tribute blet to the Acclaimed would be like the WWE realizing the team of Al Snow and Steve Blackman were over at one point, and making a tribute tag blet for Team HeadCheese.

The Acclaimed are a pretty okay team, and they’re a good example of how actual wrestling skills aren’t as important when you have charisma and great stage presence.  I’d say Anthony Bowens is a 7 in the ring, and Max Caster is a 6 at best, but the two of them together have a tremendous amount of charisma and performance chops, and they know how to engage a crowd.  But when push comes to shove, they’re not even the best tag team in the company by a long shot, and from a promotion that values tag team wrestling as AEW does, they’ve got a long way to catching up with the Young Bucks, FTR, and Lucha Bros among others.

And let’s not forget the fact that they’re carrying around Billy Gunn, whom it seemed like a pretty slapped together union at first, but to their credit and willingness to run with whatever is thrown their way, they’ve made it work.  Obviously, Billy Gunn is in incredible shape and can still go despite being 59 years old, but the guy is mostly a legend solely by association with stronger performers. 

But in storyline, he was shunned and assaulted by his own sons, and in two seconds afterward, he was completely revitalized and renewed by putting his fingers into scissors and joining hands with a rap group team; seems a bit convoluted and silly, but then again, this is AEW we’re talking about.

Back to the blets though, we’re living in a world where a replica blet that is held in part by Billy Gunn, is the most expensive replica in the entire industry.  And it’s not even real gold like the IWGP replicas sold in limited quantities by NJPW; as absurd as it would be to drop 2.5-3.5K on one of those, they’re at least made from real 24 carat gold, and might actually appreciate in value, aside from the fact that some of the greatest wrestlers in history have held it.

My god man, I’m worked up over something so silly and absurd and I really need to stop.  AEW be out of their got-mind with this one.

When the photoshop drives the post

~ dannyhong ~ Leave a comment

A few days ago, the Mets began their slow raising of the white flag when they traded David Robertson away.  Their $gabillion dollar payroll team, hilariously wasn’t working, and the Mets realized that the only way to get onto the path of recovery is to start selling, even in spite of post a historic payroll, thus proving the old adage that you can’t buy success, especially when you’re the New York Mets.

Not long afterward, the Mets successfully unloaded one of their biggest ballasts, when they shipped Max Scherzer over to the Texas Rangers.  Sure, the Mets would have to eat a massive chunk of the remainder of the money they owe Scherzer, but they did get back Luisangel Acuña, which is very much in relation to the Atlanta Braves’ superstar outfielder, Ronald Acuña, Jr., his little brother.   Obviously, the Mets are hoping the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree, and that Acuña Jr-Jr might blossom into half the superstar that big brother Ronald is.

Make no mistake though, as much of a pride-swallowing, crow-eating gesture that trading Max Scherzer is for the Mets, it absolutely is a big win for the organization.  Probably the best thing to happen to the organization all season.  Sure, they’re eating $35M of the remaining $58M they owe him in order for the Rangers to take him, but the $23M savings they are getting in the aggregate is a pretty big deal in the long game.

That being said, when the 2024 season rolls around, thanks to the ridiculous deferred money deal Scherzer made with the Nationals, he will be getting paychecks from an unprecedented three different MLB organizations, all of which are going to be over $15M each.  The Nationals will be paying him one of their annual $15M installments which goes all the way to 2028, the Rangers will be paying him $15M, and from what I’ve read, the Mets will be paying a $28M chunk of their remaining obligation to Scherzer, which means he’s slated to be making $58 million fucking dollars in 2024.

I don’t really know how to explain it, but he’s like the reverse, anti-Bobby Bonilla with this kind of arrangement, where he’s not going to be getting paid until the end of time regardless of his playing status, he’s somehow swindled multiple organizations to be contractually obligated to giving him massive amounts of money for a very short period of years.

But as the subject says, this wasn’t really something that I was intending on writing about, even though this is the kind of bullshit of baseball that I love hearing about, but when chatting with some bros about sports and this topic, I made an analogy about how Max Scherzer is like the Thanos of getting baseball teams to pay him money, and by somehow managing to swindle three teams to pay him simultaneously, he’s basically like Thanos collecting Infinity Stones.

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