FRIED TO DEATH

I know there’s inherently something wrong about finding humor in someone else’s grief, but it’s not every day that you find out that a person died on account of them falling partially into a Publix deep fryer.  Sure, the article’s headline is misleading, and the title of my post is as usual exaggerated for irony, and ultimately it really makes me wonder how a person dies from just their leg getting deep fried, but it’s still an incident involving a person and a deep fryer with unfortunate results.

Before I proceed, I will say that if there was ever an opportunity to put into writing about how good Publix fried chicken is, this is as good as any, ironic as it might be.  No seriously, I put Publix on the Mount Rushmore of fried chicken, along with Royal Farms and Stroud’s, and I will fight anyone on their behalf who questions their honor as a legit best fried chicken contender.

But anyway, a story about a man who died because he accidentally deep fried his leg.  As sad as it is for his family that they have suffered the loss of a member, I can’t help but feel that it’s one of those Murphy’s Law scenarios where the victim in question, was kind of a dumbass.  I mean, sure it was his job to clean kitchen vents, but he also made the decision to stand on top of a deep fryer full of hot cooking oil in order to access the vents. 

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Honestly, this fight is probably going to suck

Anyone who likes sports in general would had to have been living under a rock if they didn’t hear about the year-plus of build-up that has finally culminated in an official set date for the next fight of the century, pitting MMA superstar Conor McGregor against Floyd “Money” Mayweather.

Let’s be real here though, the buildup was everything, will continue to be everything as we’ve still got nearly three full months until the match itself, and said match itself will be the most disappointing part of this entire saga.  Basically, this is kind of like a slightly watered down version of Mayweather vs. Pacquiao all over again, except McGregor is a way more entertaining shit-talker and as colorful and flamboyantly outspoken personality as Mayweather himself.

But the result is going to be the same, and that, I would actually wager money on: Mayweather will win via decision after 12 rounds.

As much trash Mayweather spouts, it’s kind of laughable that his boxing style revolves almost entirely around defense, dancing around for 36 minutes and occasionally landing a jab only after he’s 100% certain it will hit after endless time spent observing and circling, instead of actually boxing.  He spends 36 months talking shit, and when it comes time to throw down, he always turtles up and waits for his opponents to make the first moves before methodically playing the counter attack game all the time.

I mean really, the guy is 49-0 where 23 of them came via decision. 

I’m gonna defend myself against you to death!” 

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